Help i feel like a robot

MicheleR

Been on exmestane and goserelin for 3 years and 4 years respectively.

Is it normal to feel emotionless? I miss (?) the emotional highs and lows of having hormones. I do feel anger and frustration and at times stressed but joy, passion, deep love seem to have left me for apathy. 

Since I wasnt menopausal at diagnosis i have no reference pount to understand if this is normal for menopause or is it just the drugs? 

I kind of feel a bit jipped. Is this what the rest of my life looks like. Sorry to be dramatic but whats the point of it all?

cranky_granny

Hi there @MicheleR   Lack of emotional responses is scary. Please ring the help line on Monday. They are there for us and can give some good advice. 

 contact the Helpline Team via email helpline@bcna.org.au or phone 1800 500 258 Monday to Friday 9:00am-5:00pm AEDT
The Cancer Council are also very good to talk to you can call them on 13 1120 

I get where you’re coming from. The meds we take don’t just do things with our body but also our brains. There are days I am just over it big time. Simple pleasures can become harder to find. 

Have you got  a breast care nurse you can contact to get you into some counselling. I’ve made use of them over the years.  Your treating Dr should be able to help out as well. Taking that first step to ask for professional help is the hardest but once you do and get started on the resources are there to use whenever needed. 

Have you listened to any of the Upfront about cancer podcasts. If not have a look theres a variety of topics to listen to
Just getting on here and typing your feelings is a great start. Please search out some help 

MicheleR

Hi,

I suppose I shouldnt complain as i dont experience a lot of the physical aspects of Ai now provided I exercise. 

Im well, off blood pressure meds, ive lost a tiny bit of weight after an enormous 3 year struggle which is still ongoing ( so now im just obese category 1 rather than category 2- sigh) Blood glucose is up, cholesterol is up.  Triglicerides are  normal. So now Ive had to give up carbs. 

Its just, is this it now? Im 53 next year, if I have to live the rest of my life like this.... Huge quality of life thing really. 

Dont worry, Ill talk to my gp. No, i dont have a breast care nurse, i went through private system. I see my gp once a month for the gosrelin injection (thankfully he bulk bills i just pay for injection) and my onc and breast surgeon once a year. 

cranky_granny

@MicheleR this is the place to come let off steam.  Complain away. Maybe Find somewhere where  you can just scream. Stamp your feet whatever releases the tension.  You can always try to get into your oncologist earlier if it get too much. 

Does your oncologist only work out of private system you should be able to switch over to public. 

iserbrown

A chat with the Helpline at BCNA would be beneficial! 
You sound like you're in a rut of really, how did this happen, is it as good as it  gets!
As @cranky_granny said complain away, we are here to help not judge.
Nattering on the Helpline and or your GP should help put everything into perspective. 
Take care 
Best wishes 

Arn_007

Hi @Michelle_R

Just wanted to belatedly chime in on your fantastic achievement in losing weight and going from OB2 to OB1.

That's a huge achievement!

💪🤗

AnonyMS

Hi @MichelleR - I know how you feel - I've been on exemestane for nearly 4 years now and have been feeling really flat of late. Finding little joy in life, though I have a lot to be grateful for. It didn't occur to me that it might be a side effect of the medication.  It's hard to know whether it's just due to carrying the burden of managing my health, medication, side effects and scans.... it feels never ending and exhausting. Do others feel this way too?

MicheleR

Hi there @AnonyMS . Its a side effect of no estrogen but the good news is it comes and goes.

I find exercise very helpful in elevating mood. Even just a walk. 

But yeah. I feel like once you are through the initial diagnosis and treatment its just the hard yards of putting up with side effects and having less people to whinge or care about the side effects. I took a list of symptoms (which honestly are cyclic and feel worse each month) to my oncologist who said these ones are nenopause, these from your chemo 3 years ago. No suggestions on how to feel better, im doing well, a lot of people have given up by now, yadayada. See you next year. Next year if you want you can come off exemestane but probably not zolodex. I feel bad for whingeing because it could be a lot worse but people in normal menopause are allowed to whinge and get some sort of support. I think the medical part is limited in survivorship. Maybe they dont know what to do to help as there isnt enough people to compare with. I also want to know what happens to me at 5 years, am i still a cancer patient being mindful all the time or do i get to relax sometime?