Can't handle any more

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riss81
riss81 Member Posts: 31
Hi Every one. I have 4 more taxol sessions to go and I am unrecognizable. I have no hair no lashes no eyebrows, I have to poets hanging put of my arm that have exma all around them. I have put on weight from my treatment and tired all the time etc. I know the end is near but mot sure how I'm going to get through the next 4 weeks and fear I'll never be the same as I was again 

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  • Paris_24
    Paris_24 Member Posts: 29
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    @riss81 I am only early in the chemo journey x2 AC down, your rawness and honesty about where you are at, tells me the strength you have that has helped got you to where you are now.  Hang in there and it’s ok to have the down time, pity party, scream or whatever it needs to take another step each day for the next 28 days.  Sending you lots of peaceful vibes or pointy fingers up to cancer which ever one you need for the day!
  • Blossom1961
    Blossom1961 Member Posts: 2,430
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    @riss81 I breezed through the first eight taxol and then suddenly went splat for the final four. The Onco I had at the time told me all the side effects I had were not from the taxol and due to the fatigue I just couldn't cope with the final four. I did it but had to push myself every step of the way. I was so proud of myself when I finished. I know to finish those last four seems eternity away but I just refused to be beaten. Make sure you plan a special treat for yourself after every treatment from now until you finish. You are worth it. Hair will grow, weight will take awhile, energy will return and that rash will be much easier to treat until it is gone. You have this. You will come out different but stronger. I lost my filter and whatever I thought I spoke. Oops. I may have shocked my family and friends but they got over it. Sending big hugs
  • Afraser
    Afraser Member Posts: 4,392
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    Hang on there! I developed peripheral
    neuropathy - not so bad in my fingers, not good in my feet. I feared not being able to walk! My surgeon was keen for me to continue, although even he was willing to forego the last one. Then I found a lump
    under my other arm! It turned out to be entirely unrelated and benign but it very effectively reminded me how much I did not want cancer back. I finished the course. @Blossom1961 is right, you’ll come out stronger. Best wishes. 
  • Tri
    Tri Member Posts: 69
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    I feel for you @riss81 this is not a fun phase. Hope you can hang in there and agree with some of the strategies mentioned above: especially finding something to treat yourself with between each session. I find focusing on just one treatment at a time helps, one step at a time… big hugs to you. This phase will pass.