Newly Diagnosed

SueD
SueD Member Posts: 22
Hi Everyone,

I was called on Friday afternoon to be told that the lump which I found is actually a high grade invasive ductal carcinoma. Although I did think that it may have been a cancer, I was floored when the doctor spoke those words out loud. I really didn't hear much else after that except that she would make me an appointment for Monday to talk about where we go from here. The biopsy results were rushed back due to the aggressive nature of the cancer they have found. I also had a biopsy taken from two lymph nodes that looked suspicious (these results are not back yet but it is on the same side as the cancer and doesn't look good). My lump is 3cm. 
I will say that I am terrified. I am trying to be strong but have waves were I do not feel strong at all. I am normally quite the positive person. My sister keeps telling me to be positive, but it feels difficult with so many variables (what stage will it be, has it metastasized, etc...). The breast surgeon I have been referred to doesn't have appointments until December, although she does triage so based on that diagnosis I may get in earlier.
It is so scary waiting on all the results. I will no doubt now need to get scans to see if it has travelled to other parts of my body. 
I had to tell my family on the weekend, including my 15 year old son, that was hard.
Does it get easier? How do you stay positive? 
I seem to go to sleep and then I wake with a jolt of realisation. 
I hope to talk to many of you on this journey. You are certainly the ones that will understand after having this experience yourself. It certainly sounds like something that you cannot go alone.

Sue.

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Comments

  • jennyss
    jennyss Member Posts: 2,083
    Dear @SueD,
    Others will have more information for you than me, so I will just say

    from jennyss in Western NSW

  • SueD
    SueD Member Posts: 22
    Thanks Jennyss and best wishes back to you 😊
  • SueD
    SueD Member Posts: 22
    edited October 2023
    Thanks @MillyMolly for your reassurances. You will have to let me know how you go when you meet the oncologist. Good luck and we can certainly share our journeys, I would like that. It does feel slightly better already, connecting with people that are experiencing similar situations (as we all are here no doubt). 
  • AllyJay
    AllyJay Member Posts: 957
    Hi there @SueD...I'm so sorry that you've had to join our club, but welcome anyway. I got that tap on the shoulder from the Cosmic Clowns back in September 2016. Once they had finished all the tests, I was given the diagnosis of Grade 3 (so a Porsche, not a clapped out old VW), Stage 3, (so the bastard had passport in pocket and suitcases packed...ready to travel), Triple positive, multifocal and with node involvement. I had one grandchild at the time, a little boy aged 16 months. I was quite sure I was going to drop off my perch within the year, and being an avid knitter, set about knitting him beanies and jumpers for ages 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6, so he would have tangible proof of his dead granny's love for him. Well Granny is still here, still knitting and now have a four year old granddaughter too. The wait in the beginning is horrible, whilst you wait for your plan, but your medical team need to get all their results back to know exactly what they're dealing with, and what treatment and sequence is best for you. Remember, this is your first experience with breast cancer, but it's a beast they know well and is their bread and butter, so to speak. My very best wishes and a big (((hug)))...Ally.
  • SueD
    SueD Member Posts: 22
    Thanks Ally. I am certainly glad you made it through and what a beautiful gift to get another grandchild. I do hear you though I am updating my will and cleaning everything in site (well a bit of this is my planning nature and distraction, but some making sure I am organised for any outcome). I think even being positive most of us probably go to the dark side at times. Like everyone else I will fight with all I have to see my son grow up and hopefully get my own grandchildren. I can’t knit, but who knows, maybe through this I could learn 😂 
  • AllyJay
    AllyJay Member Posts: 957
    @SueD...I also did all my 'admin housekeeping'. My husband and I drew up a contemporary will (the original was drawn up in 1979 when we were married). I also appointed my husband and daughter as Enduring Guardians to enable either of them to make medical decisions on my behalf if I was unable, and also Power of Attorney to my daughter to enable her to pay bills, access bank and so on if both "My Bearded One" and I were incapacitated at the same time...such as a car accident. I didn't want any problems for my kids regarding these matters if the excrement hit the cooling device.
  • SueD
    SueD Member Posts: 22
    I am hearing you Ally. I think we can prepare for the worst, but still hope for the best. 😂 
  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 8,198
    So sorry to see you join our select little group @SueD - but glad you've found us.  There is a wealth of information here - so chuck any questions you have & we'll do our best to answer them for you.

    I hope you get in with your surgeon sooner than Dec - just because the waiting SUCKS.  grrr

    Feel free to jump onto this thread & see what to take to hospital & other stuff (even funny stuff, as we all need a laugh now & then!)   Show us your furkids, your art & craft, garden ...... anything that you enjoy making ..... and there are 'tick sheets' down the bottom so you can 'self assess' yourself (stress/worry) and take the sheets with you to your meeting ... write your questions down & give THEM a copy as well, and tick them off as each item is addressed xx
    https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/23477/a-big-welcome-to-all-our-new-members#latest

    take care & all the best xx (I can't knit either!  or Sew ... but check out the craft thread - some wonderful creations there!)

  • SueD
    SueD Member Posts: 22
    Thanks Arpie, a lot of really good information there, I appreciate it. I will get organised and send some pics. I’m certainly glad I posted since I no longer feel so scared or alone. Hugs to you all x
  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 8,198
    Terrific, @SueD .... WE were all where you are NOW - just some time ago .... it is literally 6 years since my lump was found in 2017 ... with surgery in early 2018 .... but that 'scary feeling' sort of comes back every year, with the mammogram/ultrasound check ups .... but with knowledge on my side .... it gets easier xx

    Take care, take a buddy with you to ALL your appointments as an extra set of ears & for support - and consider recording your meetings too.    You can do this xx
  • Clancy
    Clancy Member Posts: 9
    Hi Sue, I am also recently diagnosed and just underwent a second surgery for DCIS (HG) last week and am awaiting results that the margins were clear (I didn't even know what that meant a month ago!). It has been a whirlwind and have found sharing the news with supportive friends and family has really helped.  Also my mum went through invasive cancer 6 years ago and had rounds of chemo/radiotheraphy which has given me confidence that it can be overcome.  I really hope you can have the surgery soon as I think a lot of anxiety can stem from that.  Perhaps stay focused on gathering information to help you know what to ask your surgeon when you do meet.  Also be prepared for the recovery period post op, I suffered really low energy the first time and thus was more prepared with wholesome meals (lots of kale and leafy greens) for the second op which helped me recover more quickly.  I am also reading up on mindfulness to help me prepare for what is to come.  Take it once step at a time and don't think too far ahead is best; hope you get a good outcome and keep us posted. x
  • SueD
    SueD Member Posts: 22
    Hi Clancy,

    It is all so much the waiting game, isn't it - we are always waiting for some results. I have been in to see the surgeon now (I did get fast tracked). I had an MRI today (due to dense, lumpy breasts - to see what else is hiding) and my PET/CT tomorrow. All very scary waiting for results.
    Good to hear about your mum, did she have the same cancer? 
    If you do not mind me asking, why are you having a second surgery (didn't they get it all the first time)? I really hope it is all clear for you.
    It's good to know about the wholesome meals and my surgeon recommended mediation and yoga. 
    Great advice about not thinking too far ahead, but very difficult to put into practise 😂 I will try!!
    Thanks for reaching out and your wishes for a good outcome. x
  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 8,198
    Great that you're getting all the scans done @SueD - all the best for your results xx ....

    That gives you a base line to check against every other scan from here on, which is a good thing xx.  I reckon everyone really should have a full body 'something' done at the start of treatment, exactly for that comparison later on (and possibly identifying unknown bits as well ...). But I guess it is just an expense thing ... 

    Keep eating well & exercising as much as you can, yoga as well .... all these things help keep your body & mind busy .... xx. Yep, try not to get too far ahead of yourself xx

    take care