Just found out I need chemo

Cat2

Though I'd say hi. I'm a mum of 2 girls 5 and 2 and was diagnosed in January.  I have had a lumpectomy a couple of weeks ago and it was much bigger than they thought and it now looks like I'll probably need chemo as well as radiation.  I'm so overwhelmed by this.  The logistics alone are mind boggling as my littlest isnt in care. And if im being honest I'm just plain scared of chemo.  

Love to hear from someone on similar journey or has done it. It feels insurmountable at the moment. 

Afraser

@Cat2

Chemo is a bogey man, scary as all get out. And the truth is it can be very unpleasant. But not always. Some people, like me, have none of the predictable side effects - no nausea (never felt sick), no fatigue, no chemo brain. I did get some side effects but less common and manageable. Nausea can be treated by medication. I didn’t have small children to
care for and that’s a whole different issue but your GP, breast care nurse or others may be able to suggest some options. This is the time to think of yourself first and let others help. Your girls are resilient and will be fine. The best you can do for them is to minimise the chance of cancer coming back. That’s what the treatment is for. One day this will all
seem a long time ago, best wishes. 

Fufan

Hello @Cat2, and welcome to the site.  I’m sorry you find yourself here, but you will find a lot of support.  Most of us were overwhelmed at the start, but you can do this.

There are different chemo regimes, and I don’t know yours, but I can say I was mostly afraid of nausea, and had none.  There is medication for this, and the general opinion seems to be that nausea is not the drama it once was.  Of course there can be other side effects: your oncologist or nurse should provide you with information on how to minimise these.  If I could give you one piece of advice it would be to exercise, exercise, however unappealing that may seem at the time.  And @Afraser is quite right (as she usually is): it is time to put yourself first, and take help wherever you can.  In fact, it is time to be assertive and ask for help.  You might be surprised.
Best wishes.

Stone90

Hi @Cat2,

Sending you so much love. The breast cancer journey is so overwhelming at any stage in life, but I have found worrying about how to manage being a mama and caring for my kids one of the most difficult parts.

 I was diagnosed in December and have 4 year old and 2 year old (who's also never been to daycare). I am seeing my radiation oncologist next Thursday to find out about my treatment plan. I had my lumpectomy on the 3rd Feb.  It's the unknown which is the worst part for me. I think I've avoided chemo at this stage, but cancer is a tricky beast. 

I've met @CarlyJR on this forum and she's going through a similar journey. My advice is to reach out to others who have been through the experience and can help you with what to expect. The breast care nurse has told me that chemo is nothing like what they make it look like in the movies (just like childbirth doesn't look like the movies).

Happy to be in contact over private message if you need someone to chat to. 

Sending love and light. Sorry that you also have to go through this journey. xx

Abbydog

I'm sorry for your diagnosis and situation. You will get through this.
There is a Young Womens group that I would suggest you join. 
Some of those ladies will have more in common with you.
I was 61 on diagnosis, with no one dependant on me, but good family and friend support.
I consider myself quite lucky.
Like Afraser, I came through Chemo quite well. With no major side effects and no nausea.
I had the minor side effects that I would consider manageable.
I also did not lose my hair, as I used the Cold Cap (some thinning). Cold cap adds time spent at Chemo.
Wishing you all the best. Take up any offers for help. You can do it.

Cat2

Thank you everyone for your replies, I'm feeling a bit better today. I'm glad to hear chemo was manageable for others. I look forward to speaking to my medical oncologist and getting a treatment plan. So I can make a plan for how we can make this work with my kids.  The uncertainty is hard!
Thank you for your kindness  and words on encouragement,  I'm so greatful.  
Best wishes for everyone else on their journeys. 

Julez1958

Hi @Cat2
I didn’t have chemo but just wanted to say many ladies here have had it and it was doeable
th potential side affects are scary but they are just potential and you won’t necessarily have any of them
Wishing you all the best 🌺

CarlyJR

Hi @Cat2
I'm sorry to read of your recent diagnosis. It's such a scary time isn't it.
As @Stone90 mentioned, I am in a very similar situation to you. I was diagnosed in January too (I was breastfeeding my then 4mo and also have a 2.5yo), and had my lumpectomy a couple of weeks ago too. They found a smaller satellite lump in the margins, so I'll need chemo, further surgery and radiation too.
Like you, I was and probably am still in shock about it all. My kids haven't been in childcare either, so will need to rely heavily on family during chemo as my husband won't have enough leave to cover that whole time.
For me, the not knowing if I'll be unwell or unable to care for my kids is stressing me out.
I meet with my oncologist tomorrow so hopefully I'll get some reassuring words!
I've found it great to have @stone90 to chat with over the last few weeks, and I'm happy to be your buddy through this too.

Xx