Going ahead Alone
arpie
Member Posts: 8,197 ✭
in Day to day
2022 has been a tough year - and then it got tougher again.
Hubby's chemo treatment changed in Dec and from then on, sadly, he lost his hair (of which he was always VERY proud, to have a full head of luxurious hair at age 85) & sadly also had trips to hospital for infections & reactions to vaccinations.
Then, when his cancer markers went thru the roof in late March, the decision was made to stop chemo.
Sadly, after doing so well til the end of last year (after being diagnosed Stage 4 in January '21) my beloved husband passed away on May 29th after a sudden downturn in mobility and function. He was active & alert, swimming at the Hydro Pool on the Monday & attended the dentist with me on the Tues, but then had difficulty standing up. I had to call the Ambos and he was taken to hospital on the Wed, where I was told he would not be going home. I was with him 24/7, with a bed/chair set up for me in his room and helped the nurses with his care. Family gathered, including our stepson & wife who flew in from NZ - and he passed peacefully, early on the Sunday morning.
We had a lovely Farewell Service overlooking his favourite beach that he had run along daily, for almost 20 years.
It is tough. It is just SO tough, going it alone after a wonderful partnership of nearly 40 years.
The grief is 24/7 and ongoing - in small waves & big waves - at any time, night & day.
I've had wonderful support from family & friends & also my close friends here on the forum and I thank you for that. xx You've helped keep me sane. xx
The paperwork & legal stuff is ongoing & very emotional ....
And then, just to make things even more difficult, our ground floor level & garage were water impacted by the deluge 3 weeks ago & I now have carpet pulled up & stuffed tools & musical instruments & am awaiting an insurance assessment re repair or replacement.
It is not what I really needed at this point in time - tho it is keeping me busy, which is good, sort of.
Life is tough just now.
take care xx. Give your partner a special hug xx
Hubby's chemo treatment changed in Dec and from then on, sadly, he lost his hair (of which he was always VERY proud, to have a full head of luxurious hair at age 85) & sadly also had trips to hospital for infections & reactions to vaccinations.
Then, when his cancer markers went thru the roof in late March, the decision was made to stop chemo.
Sadly, after doing so well til the end of last year (after being diagnosed Stage 4 in January '21) my beloved husband passed away on May 29th after a sudden downturn in mobility and function. He was active & alert, swimming at the Hydro Pool on the Monday & attended the dentist with me on the Tues, but then had difficulty standing up. I had to call the Ambos and he was taken to hospital on the Wed, where I was told he would not be going home. I was with him 24/7, with a bed/chair set up for me in his room and helped the nurses with his care. Family gathered, including our stepson & wife who flew in from NZ - and he passed peacefully, early on the Sunday morning.
We had a lovely Farewell Service overlooking his favourite beach that he had run along daily, for almost 20 years.
It is tough. It is just SO tough, going it alone after a wonderful partnership of nearly 40 years.
The grief is 24/7 and ongoing - in small waves & big waves - at any time, night & day.
I've had wonderful support from family & friends & also my close friends here on the forum and I thank you for that. xx You've helped keep me sane. xx
The paperwork & legal stuff is ongoing & very emotional ....
And then, just to make things even more difficult, our ground floor level & garage were water impacted by the deluge 3 weeks ago & I now have carpet pulled up & stuffed tools & musical instruments & am awaiting an insurance assessment re repair or replacement.
It is not what I really needed at this point in time - tho it is keeping me busy, which is good, sort of.
Life is tough just now.
take care xx. Give your partner a special hug xx
12
Comments
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My tears are flowing again for you, my friend but "The famous Five" will be by your side every step of the way holding your hand & sending you love, strength & support. You dont deserve this but you are one of the toughest people I know & you will get through this. Take care xx
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Thinking of you at this very difficult time. You have always been a great advocate and support for others so take all the support, practical and emotional, that you can now. You will need to find your sea legs in yet another new normal. Your own advice, to keep busy, may help to do this. Take care.6
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I have been very privileged to have you in my breast cancer life for the past five years. Very soon after I plucked up courage to post of my struggles you responded - on line and in a private message. I felt supported. What I did not know at the time was that you also had recently been diagnosed.Over the years our friendship has strengthened. We had the best time together in Darwin in July, 2019. We have walked together in our joys, our sorrows and our successes.Recently you put aside your grief and provided support when I had a mammogram call back at exactly 5 years and 1 day to my original diagnosis.Through your support to all on the forum I have learnt the importance of advocating strongly for ourselves, I have learnt patience, I have learnt the true meaning of caring and above all I have learnt to be grateful for every day.Now is the time for you. Lean on us, we are here to support you.9
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Big massive hugs to you ♥️♥️♥️♥️. I’m glad you’re reaching out 🦋2
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May your tears be scattered with smiles knowing what a wonderful life you both had together and that his spirit is with you on your next journey of adjusting without his physical presence.
Sending you a virtual hug
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Thank you so much ladies, I really appreciate your support xx It is a long, lonely road ..... I've been out in the kayak a few times & am back at Uke, leading the group again - so that keeps me busy a few days a week.
I saw my Onc yesterday & she has suggested I stop the AIs for 5 weeks, as they can make you more emotional again .... so as of today, I am on an AI break!
xx8 -
Sending massive hugs to you my lovely friend. You have always given so much of yourself and now it is time to accept the love and support of others. Enjoy your AI break. xoxoxoxox3
