Fear.of the unknown

Charmed64 Member Posts: 3
Hi everyone. I was diagnosed yesterday 22-4-2022. Feeling a bit overwhelmed. But trying to be positive and strong for my family 


  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 7,451
    edited April 2022
    Lean on us, @Charmed64 - we were all at your 'stage' not that long ago & know how you feel - my diagnosis was in Jan 2018 xx.  It is all rather overwhelming & scary - Whack up any questions that you have & we'll help you thru them to the best of our ability, as we've 'been there & done that'.  You will still be in shock - I can still  remember the day I received my own diagnosis .... but then I 'kicked into gear' and 'got on with it', having nursed my husband thru cancer 8 years previously ... 

    I am guessing you've had your biopsy results but not seen a surgeon yet re possible surgery?  Your most likely treatment options will depend more on your surgery pathology results (rather than the biopsy results) and with a bit of luck, your surgery will be planned sooner than later xx  

    If you put your town/region in your profile, members may be able to advise you of different services available to you in your area.   If you are rural, you should be able to receive assistance with travel & accommodation costs ..... 

    Have you been assigned a Breast Care Nurse?  If yes, they will be your first 'port of call', helping you with your appointments & understanding what is happening .... but try not to get ahead of yourself at this point in time.   Yes, it is scary and your family will be scared for you as well - but please don't feel you have to shield them from what is happening, as that only puts more pressure back on yourself. 

    Tell those who you feel 'need to know' (I didn't tell all family members for 12 months!)  I only told those who I felt would 'be there for me' ....

    Keeping busy doing things you enjoy in the mean time, is a good way of keeping your mind off things - try to NOT use Dr Google, as a lot of the stuff is outdated & not necessarily relevant to your own diagnosis ......

    For a 'general overview' of the blog & other areas that may interest you, check out this post. .... feel free to jump onto any areas that may help you xx. We even manage to have a laugh on the 'Funnies' thread .... weird, I know - but a great outlet!  There are also links to help you formulate questions for your medical team as well as what you may need, heading into surgery  .... 

    Take care, and all the best with your ongoing appointments xx
  • Cath62
    Cath62 Member Posts: 1,239
    Hi @Charmed64, the advice from @arpie is spot on.

    I would suggest you take someone to appointments with you because looking back it was all such a whirlwind at the start. Everything happensso fast and there was a whole lot of terms to become familiar with so having someone at appointments really is helpful. 

    I remember it all being such a shock at the beginning. Me with breast cancer. I couldn't believe it. Then I cried for 2 weeks. Once I had surgery I felt better and then I got a treatment plan. This was good. I needed that plan because when we get that diagnosis our whole world just goes chaotic. That was all 2 yrs ago now  

    One step at a time, deep breaths and keep busy. There is so much hope and there is a future. Treatment is so great these days. We are all here to support you. I found this forum so amazing, so supportive so please feel free to ask us anything. 

    Best wishes to you.
  • Julez1958
    Julez1958 Member Posts: 1,088
    Yes agree with comments above - the ladies on here “ get it” like no one else can.
    There are lots of resources on this website so have a look around at them.
    I too cried for about 2 weeks virtually non stop in the most random places ( like the supermarket) but as I got into the groove of all the tests and finally a treatment plan it got less often.
    I found starting a journal helped me - I included all the medical stuff but also how I was feeling too.
    I am now almost 2 years post diagnosis ( had a double mastectomy , radiotherapy, reconstruction and now on hormone therapy) and in a much better place getting on with my life under the “ new normal”.
    Take care.🌺
  • Afraser
    Afraser Member Posts: 4,328

    Welcome. Taking everything in at first can be difficult, having a trusted family member or friend with you at the first consultations can be helpful, to better remember everything. My oncologist gave me a lot of information, particularly about chemotherapies, in writing - helpful to read later on, when I had more specific queries.

    Tell who you want to, but it’s exclusively your call and others need to respect that. I worked through treatment, all my close colleagues knew but lots of people I dealt with didn’t and that worked fine.

    Reactions to both having cancer and treatment vary widely, how someone else reacts isn’t necessarily how you will. But mostly we all find our own way of dealing with it - humour (aspects can be utterly ridiculous!), keeping busy, writing a journal, and being as normal as possible (sadly, there’s nothing really unusual about cancer) worked for me. You will find your own path through.

    And never forget how survivable breast cancer is. This is a stage in your life, it’s not your life. You will move through to another stage. And that next one can be very good indeed. Best wishes. 
  • Charmed64
    Charmed64 Member Posts: 3
    Thankyou every one.  Your advice and support means a lot. 🥰🥰🥰