Womanhood when you're diagnosed young
Linda87
Member Posts: 3 ✭
Hi everyone,
I'm 34 and recently diagnosed. Last Friday I started chemo after a found of egg freezing. So far I've focused on survival and have been taking things one step at a time but now that treatment has started, I'm thinking about how life will change.
Will I still be able to have biological children? And if not, how do I mourn that loss and would I want to adopt? What does this mean for love and sex when I just started a new relationship right before diagnosis?
Is anyone else in the same boat? How are you doing?
I'm 34 and recently diagnosed. Last Friday I started chemo after a found of egg freezing. So far I've focused on survival and have been taking things one step at a time but now that treatment has started, I'm thinking about how life will change.
Will I still be able to have biological children? And if not, how do I mourn that loss and would I want to adopt? What does this mean for love and sex when I just started a new relationship right before diagnosis?
Is anyone else in the same boat? How are you doing?
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Comments
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Hi there,
I am not a “ youngie” but suggest you ask to join the group “ Young Women” on here - have a look at “ Groups” in the bottom right hand corner of this page.
Sending you virtual hugs .1 -
Sorry to see you 'join the club' @Linda87 .... you're in the right spot for support tho.
I am pretty sure we have other members who've been thru egg freezing .... I put it in the 'search bar' on the Discussions page - and these links popped up (not all to do with egg freezing!) @youngdogmum may be able to help you with some of the questions you've asked ....
https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/search?search=egg+freezing&adv=1&discussionid=20581#search-results
As @Julez1958 says - join the Young Women's group - I'll tag @Mez_BCNA (the moderator) to hopefully sign you up to it. xx
You have a lot of things going on ..... have you been assigned a Breast Care Nurse yet? You could put some of these questions past her (or your surgeon) .... take care & all the best with your ongoing treatment xx
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Hi @linda87..
Lots of questions which are normal and a big part of our grief as young survivors. Very very normal to focus on survival.Can you have biological children?The short answer is yes probably .. Id recommend jumping on the FB group Babies After Breast Cancer, heaps of success stories.
It’s a complicated situation and depends on multiple things:
- It’s possible that chemo could make you menopausal... but it probably won’t. Are you on Zoladex during chemotherapy? It’s a needle to suppress your ovaries which is supposed to keep your fertility safer. If not, ask your oncologist why at the next appt.
If you are menopausal after chemo that makes having a baby harder.
- Having a pregnancy depends on the length of your treatment which depends on the type of BC you have. Sometimes triple negative patients need to go on oral chemo after the IV stuff is finished if it didn’t kill all the cancer and you wouldn’t be able to have a baby whilst you’re taking that for example, but once it’s finished you could.For hormone positive BC there is 5-10 years of oral medicines called “hormone therapy” recommended (tamoxifen, Letrozole, anastrazole and exemestane are their names). You need to come off these to have a baby. The timeframe to when it is safe to do this is unclear and currently being studied, most oncologists recommended doing at least 3 years then coming off. That will put you at 37/38. This is the reason breast cancer survivors are the group of cancer survivors least likely to have children, as our treatment goes on for a long time and their fertile window becomes shorter and shorter.If having a baby is something you want, most oncologists will support it. There was a lot of old school thinking that no BC survivors should have children, but particularly hormone positive patients, as the hormones that feed the cancer are raised during pregnancy. The current available evidence is that this is not true and pregnancy does not cause an increase in recurrence or mortality.Adoption is very very difficult in Australia…
Sex and life after cancer in general is different. The hormone therapy medicines can impact sex life, I’m not going to lie about that! But their benefits are HUGE and they really do extend the lives of hormone positive patients.I was very focused on survival as well for the first year but I am coming up to year 3 since I was diagnosed and I focus on living my life now
I am happy and healthy. Will I have children? Hard to say… is there a void?? Yes and no…
I have probably overwhelmed you !!I should mention a friend of mine was diagnosed a week before me with triple negative BC, she is 8 months pregnant with her first at 32!!! And all she has ever wanted to be is a Mum.
Take care xx6 -
Thanks ladies
@youngdogmum I'm glad to hear about life resuming afterwards. Most days I do feel hopeful. But sometimes, it just plain sucks.
@arpie I have been assigned a breast nurse. She's been lovely.
Thank you @Mez_BCNA3 -
@jessicai I am Sorry to see you join the club that no-one really wants to join xx It's good that you've found us tho, as you can bounce stuff off those who've gone before you. Joining the Young Women's Group could be a good idea - you can discuss things in complete privacy. @Mez_BCNA - could you arrange for @jessicai to join the Young Women's Group, please?
Feel free to jump onto the Newly Diagnosed section & tell us a bit about yourself - if you add you 'general area/town' to your Profile (click on your name, go to the settings wheel [top far right] and click 'edit' ) then members in the same area can point you to specific services that they are aware of, for your ongoing treatment & recovery. xx
Jump onto this thread to read about other 'more fun' areas in the forum ... and a link to tick sheets down the bottom, to help formulate questions for your team. xx
https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/23477/a-big-welcome-to-all-our-new-members#latest
Take care & all the best for your ongoing treatment xx. In the early days, take a trusted friend with you as support & an 'extra set of ears' - and consider recording them on your phone, to 'go over' again, later on, if need be xx
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