Year 4 done and dusted woot woot !!!

Soooooooooooo...Halloween was my 4th year anniversary NED!!!!! (A bit of a late post I know)

One more year and I get to be on the official stats :wink:

Finally, after seeing my BS the other week I get to have a whole 12months off before the next lot of scans! Which I am quite happy about given the last 18 months.

I am baulking on changing to the letrozole, actually, I am just not going to. I am hoping there will be a new doctor next time so I don't have to explain my "non compliance" to her. Lol

It's been a pretty good year (all 2020 catastrophies considered) and surprisingly I am keeping up with my "say yes to all invitions" which has obviously been a bit interesting with the whole COVID thing. Anyhow, I just got back from Fraser Island, which is one of the most stunning places to visit in the world I am sure, even if I did get mauled by sand flies at one campsite (bloody camping)!

I've had an interesting kind of restlessness over the last few months. Whilst I feel well and strong, apart from my toasted brain which is a bit concerning, I now find myself bored shitless with the sameness of everything, the mundane day to day. I guess it's still that mortality slap in the face hanging in there, looking for something more kind of thing. It's more frustration at not really knowing what to do about it.

I've taken up painting which I am enjoying. I'm renovating my bathroom (eek,,,huge job) and all the usual farm work, so I am busy but I'm missing some kind of something (not that I'm the kind of person that wants to go juming out of a plane or anything) In the words of Bruce Springstein, "I'm just tired and bored with myself" hahaha
Anyhooo, I guess I'll work it out at some stage.

I hope everyone is managing ok with whatever stage of this shit fight they're at and the train wreck that is 2020.

For those just starting out, keep breathing, keep going one foot in front of the other, you've got this, and you'll find a strength inside you never thought you had. Although you probably wont' realise it for a while.

For those in the midst of treatment, hang in there guys and keep those goal posts firmly in sight. Your getting closer every day.

For those that are beginning "survivorship".....this is what they didn't warn you about and they should have.

I'm going to split this into another post so this one doesn't become a "war and peace" and it's the long haul so I've found there's much to be learnt.

Lots of love to all and thank you to everyone who has listened, helped and guided over the last four years

Hugs to all
xoxoxo

survivorship

31 Replies

kezmusc
Member
5 years ago
Thank you so much ladies.

Well done @Beaglemum. That's going to be very exciting. There are many things I say yes to now that once upon a time I would have overthought and then not done. No time to waste right? Just do it.

@Anne65. Thank you lovely. I took up painting because I freakin sucked at last years hobby (guitar). I am not sure if it's relaxing though. I get a bit frustrated that I'm not getting better quicker. I am thoroughly enjoying learning though.

So good to hear from you @Kmakm and better late than never right?
I count myself very lucky to be in QLD throughout the Rona thing. And even luckier that I live on property and had plenty of space and things to do throughout. It must have been very difficult elsewhere.

xoxoxoxooxoxo
FLClover
Member
5 years ago
@Beaglemum that is absolutely fantastic!! I’ve been wanting to do that for ages, but can’t afford a caravan just yet 😆.
I totally agree with you that life has a way of working out, and the walls of a house is not what you are going to remember when you tell people stories of fun times. Money is fluid, it comes and goes, and time spent worrying about it is time wasted as I’ve learnt. Good luck!! 🍀♥️

@Blossom1961 good on you!! 👏🏻🥰
iserbrown
Member
5 years ago
We have friends that are nomads, have been for in excess of 25 years, trusty caravan. They house sit where they can and follow the fruit. Cherries are their preferred

Enjoy the experience

Best wishes
Blossom1961
Member
5 years ago
@Beaglemum I am so jealous. We did the same thing, starting eight years ago and lasting three years. We worked whenever we could find work. I plan on doing it again. We threw away our jobs, sold our house, ignored heaps of family members who all had reasons we shouldn't go, loved every minute of it, and came back broke. Go for it I say.
Beaglemum
Member
5 years ago
Congrats @kezmusc and all you others who are years down the line - gives us all such hope. I am just over a year post surgery, chemo & rads were earlier this year and am on the dreaded Letrozole. I too have felt that restlessness and have not known what to do with it - finally I have made a momentous decision - we bought a caravan about a month ago (never been camping in my life) I resigned from my job 2 weeks ago (finishing on 31st March 2021), we are going to sell our house in Feb and once that is sold my husband will leave his job and we are going to travel around Australia - where ever we are allowed to go depending on covid. Beagles are coming along tor the ride too.

Would we have made this decision if i had not gone through this shitfight of BC - who knows but not really likely - I feel like life is too short and who knows what is round the corner - are we rich,no - will we run of out money maybe at some point but life has a way of working out so we are going for it. Happy days ahead for all of us I hope xx
Anne65
Member
5 years ago
@kezmusc Congrats my lovely on ticking off another year!! I have just had my 3 year mammo & got the all clear too so great way to end the year.
You are a true survivor & give so much to others on this forum. I think through the year we have all had, it has stirred up even more emotions that have made us feel confused, anxious, depressed & many other emotions that we didnt even know we had!! Add to that, being in lockdown with just you & your thoughts going over & over & over.....its no wonder you are feeling restless.You are being very proactive taking up a new hobby & I reckon painting would be a very calming & relaxing way to pass the time...may be not for me as I would suck at it...but I reckon I would get plenty of laughs from my attempts!
I hope once we all turn over the calendar to 2021, we will all have a spring in our step! With borders easing, we can go out & live life & enjoy this wonderful country. Poor Fraser island! I have been there too & am saddened to see the devastation on such a magical place. Glad you got to enjoy it when you did. take care my friend. Love & strength to you xx
kmakm
Member
5 years ago
Bit late here @kezmusc but congratulations lovely!

I've always been restless but it's far worse since getting cancer. And the Melbourne lockdowns this year has sent it into overdrive. For me I think it's also connected to menopause. We're no longer ruled by all those hormones urging us to procreate and nurture!

All the best gorgeous, K xox
FLClover
Member
5 years ago
@kezmusc @Afraser thanks ladies!! 😊. You’re both absolutely right. How and what caused it can only be assumed, because too many women (and men) with different lifestyles and backgrounds, ages etc are getting it. But the most important thing is to fix what we are generally unhappy about in life, cancer or not. I was
always one to change what I needed to, but lost a lot of that power and motivation about 2-3 years pre cancer. It just got so hard for some reason. Getting the cancer only made it worse, until I started getting my mojo back. So yes, it did eventually kick me into gear to start fixing things, one step at a time as you said. I’ve already changed a lot and am so much happier than before. But it’s constant progress, so need to keep it going.
I’m glad that many of us are using this as an opportunity to finally do what we put off for so long, such as fixing that very important work/life balance.
To us ladies, I hope it only gets better 😬🥂🤩😊😘
kezmusc
Member
5 years ago
@Caz1,

Yep, you;ve hit the nail on the head. No time to waste. <3
Caz1
Member
5 years ago
@kezmusc congrats!!! Well done you! And as usual well said :)
I’m restless as hell too. I totally agree with @kamada , but I also think for me there is a bit of wanting to grab life by the horns and not want a minute

keepdoing what you’re doing @kezmusc

Caz xx