Year 4 done and dusted woot woot !!!
kezmusc
Member Posts: 1,536 ✭
Soooooooooooo...Halloween was my 4th year anniversary NED!!!!! (A bit of a late post I know)
One more year and I get to be on the official stats
Finally, after seeing my BS the other week I get to have a whole 12months off before the next lot of scans! Which I am quite happy about given the last 18 months.
I am baulking on changing to the letrozole, actually, I am just not going to. I am hoping there will be a new doctor next time so I don't have to explain my "non compliance" to her. Lol
It's been a pretty good year (all 2020 catastrophies considered) and surprisingly I am keeping up with my "say yes to all invitions" which has obviously been a bit interesting with the whole COVID thing. Anyhow, I just got back from Fraser Island, which is one of the most stunning places to visit in the world I am sure, even if I did get mauled by sand flies at one campsite (bloody camping)!
I've had an interesting kind of restlessness over the last few months. Whilst I feel well and strong, apart from my toasted brain which is a bit concerning, I now find myself bored shitless with the sameness of everything, the mundane day to day. I guess it's still that mortality slap in the face hanging in there, looking for something more kind of thing. It's more frustration at not really knowing what to do about it.
I've taken up painting which I am enjoying. I'm renovating my bathroom (eek,,,huge job) and all the usual farm work, so I am busy but I'm missing some kind of something (not that I'm the kind of person that wants to go juming out of a plane or anything) In the words of Bruce Springstein, "I'm just tired and bored with myself" hahaha
Anyhooo, I guess I'll work it out at some stage.
I hope everyone is managing ok with whatever stage of this shit fight they're at and the train wreck that is 2020.
For those just starting out, keep breathing, keep going one foot in front of the other, you've got this, and you'll find a strength inside you never thought you had. Although you probably wont' realise it for a while.
For those in the midst of treatment, hang in there guys and keep those goal posts firmly in sight. Your getting closer every day.
For those that are beginning "survivorship".....this is what they didn't warn you about and they should have.
I'm going to split this into another post so this one doesn't become a "war and peace" and it's the long haul so I've found there's much to be learnt.
Lots of love to all and thank you to everyone who has listened, helped and guided over the last four years
Hugs to all
xoxoxo
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Best wishes with your non-compliance and explanation of same - we get it but do they?
We are scarred from diagnosis and slightly nutty from side effects. But we are survivors!
Fraser Island - a beautiful destination!
Take care
I think a bit of restlessness is par for the course at various times post diagnosis/treatment - you feel you should be doing more/different/other. Mind you, in Melbourne doing anything is a bit of a thrill!
Tomorrow, I can go for a walk without a mask! Tuesday I am going with grandchildren to the zoo, mostly without a mask! Masks have got us through so I am not griping (and they’ll be in my bag just in case) but the ‘ring of steel’ has meant I have seen very little of my family in the flesh this year so it’s good to make up time. Writing has been my lockdown thing and needs to continue, it’s always good to get into something new. Best wishes.
Being bored and restless is probably a good sign--shows you have the energy to consider anything apart from relentless plodding.
There will be will be a bottle of wine sitting between us on a table outside somewhere where we can indulge in our other vices. One day. MXX
with it. Maybe I’ll ask my psychologist tomorrow 🤔. I hope it sorts out for you, I love the painting idea. Have always wanted to do it.
Mon Xx
Well done! And thank you for all the support to the network members and humour. I bet your new bathroom will look fabulous. This is me painting the grout in my shower cubicle - not a renovation, just a desperate rescue.
I understand Your feeling restless .... I’ve been like that for a while too ... this whole year has kept just been so surreal .... and to be honest, I don’t think next year will be much different or at least til they get on top of this bloody virus - and even then, they need time to make sure any vaccine really works!
I am also very good at not doing today, what I can put off until tomorrow!
take care, buddy xx
@Zoffiel, I am going to hold you to that promise one day!
Great news about the scan and as for the Letrozole - it's always got to be your choice.
I know what you mean about the boredom. I get so tired but everything is so ho-hum...and if it's not, it's usually because someone has irked me big time.
Take care and enjoy the adventures!
@ddon They can't get rid of us that fast lol! xoxo