Home Now what? The highs and lows of survivorship



Year 4 done and dusted woot woot !!!


Soooooooooooo...Halloween  was  my 4th year anniversary NED!!!!!  (A bit of a  late post I know)

 One more year and I get to be on the official stats :wink:

Finally, after seeing my BS the other week I get  to have a whole 12months off before the next lot of scans! Which I am quite happy about given the last 18 months.

I am baulking on changing to the letrozole,  actually, I am just not going to.  I am hoping there will be a new doctor next time so I don't have to explain my "non compliance" to her.  Lol 

It's been a pretty good year (all 2020 catastrophies considered) and surprisingly I am keeping up with my "say yes to all invitions"  which has obviously been a bit interesting with the whole COVID thing.    Anyhow, I just got back from Fraser Island, which is one of the most stunning places to visit in the world I am sure, even if I did get mauled by sand flies at one campsite (bloody camping)!  

I've had an interesting kind of restlessness over the last few months.  Whilst I feel well and strong, apart from my toasted brain which is a bit concerning,  I now find myself bored shitless with the sameness of everything, the mundane day to day.  I guess it's still that mortality slap in the face hanging in there, looking for something more kind of thing.   It's more frustration at not really knowing what to do about it.  

I've taken up painting which I am enjoying.  I'm renovating my bathroom (eek,,,huge job) and all the usual farm work, so I am busy   but I'm missing some kind of something (not that I'm the kind of person that wants to go juming out of a plane or anything) In the words of Bruce Springstein, "I'm just tired and bored with myself" hahaha
Anyhooo, I guess I'll work it out at some stage. 

I hope everyone is managing ok with whatever stage of this shit fight they're at and the train wreck that is 2020. 

For those just starting out, keep breathing, keep going one foot in front of the other, you've got this, and you'll find a strength inside you never thought you had. Although you probably wont' realise it for a while.

For those in the midst of treatment, hang in there guys and keep those goal posts firmly in sight.  Your getting closer every day.

For those that are beginning "survivorship".....this is what they didn't warn you about and they should have.

 I'm going to split this into another post so this one doesn't become a "war and peace" and it's the long haul so I've found there's much to be learnt.

Lots of love to all and thank you to everyone who has listened, helped and guided over the last four years

Hugs to all
xoxoxo



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Comments

  • iserbrowniserbrown Regional VictoriaMember Posts: 4,430
    @kezmusc

    Best wishes with your non-compliance and explanation of same - we get it but do they?

    We are scarred from diagnosis and slightly nutty from side effects. But we are survivors!

    Fraser Island - a beautiful destination!

    Take care
  • kezmusckezmusc Member Posts: 1,536
    Thank you @iserbrown,  slighlty nutty hehehe, you are right:)
  • AfraserAfraser MelbourneMember Posts: 3,335
    Congratulations! That’s a really good outcome for what has been a weird year! 
    I think a bit of restlessness is par for the course at various times post diagnosis/treatment - you feel you should be doing more/different/other. Mind you, in Melbourne doing anything is a bit of a thrill!
    Tomorrow, I can go for a walk without a mask! Tuesday I am going with grandchildren to the zoo, mostly without a mask! Masks have got us through so I am not griping (and they’ll be in my bag just in case) but the ‘ring of steel’ has meant I have seen very little of my family in the flesh this year so it’s good to make up time. Writing has been my lockdown thing and needs to continue, it’s always good to get into something new. Best wishes. 


  • ZoffielZoffiel Regional VictoriaMember Posts: 3,139
    Yeah, 4 years, or 14 years (depending on which shitfight we are referring to) Ihere too. It's a haul, hey?
    Being bored and restless is probably a good sign--shows you have the energy to consider anything apart from relentless plodding.
    There will be will be a bottle of wine sitting between us on a table outside somewhere where we can indulge in our other vices. One day. MXX
  • FLCloverFLClover Sydney Member Posts: 678
    Fantastic news @kezmusc, on the 4 years NED! 👌🏻😊. And on the FI trip 🤩. 
    I’ve still got more surgery and haven’t been ‘NEDDED’ yet, but I’m also feeling that restlessness, especially this past week. You described it very well. I’ve been a bit confused by it and not quite sure what to do
    with it. Maybe I’ll ask my psychologist tomorrow 🤔. I hope it sorts out for you, I love the painting idea. Have always wanted to do it. 
    Looking forward to your next post. And yes, they should warn us about it. They should warn us about many other things they don’t 🤷🏼‍♀️. 
    Hugs 🤗
    Mon Xx
  • AllyJayAllyJay Member Posts: 710
    As Montgomery Burns (The Simpsons) would say..."Eeexxxcellent"!!!
  • Cath62Cath62 Brisbane Member Posts: 131
    Congratulations @kezmusc. Fraser Island is truly beautiful. I had a great time there a couple of yrs ago. Looking forward to your next post too. For me it had been diagnosis year and treatment ie surgery, chemo and radium. Now it's tamoxifen but so far so good. Next year a wee bit more surgery but I am now in survivorship I guess.  While BC is so shitty I am grateful every day I am here , grateful my bc was found, treated and I made it through treatment. I am also grateful to you and your posts as well as the posts of the other bc ladies.  Have a great day. 
  • LocksleyLocksley Macedon Ranges, VictoriaMember Posts: 316
    Hi @kezmusc congratulations.   Great news.   
  • arpiearpie Mid North Coast, NSWMember Posts: 4,476
    edited November 2020
    Great news @kezmusc - and no better way to celebrate than a camping trip to Fraser Island!   Enjoy the next 12 months of no scans! 

    I understand Your feeling restless .... I’ve been like that for a while too ... this whole year has kept just been so surreal .... and to be honest, I don’t think next year will be much different or at least til they get on top of this bloody virus - and even then, they need time to make sure any vaccine really works!  :( 

    I am also very good at not doing today, what I can put off until tomorrow!  ;)  (The story of my life!)

    take care, buddy xx


  • kezmusckezmusc Member Posts: 1,536
    Thank you so much ladies.  
    @Zoffiel, I am going to hold you to that promise one day!
  • SisterSister Adelaide Hills, SAMember Posts: 4,817
    I do remember showing people photos of Fraser Island creeks and them asking why I had photos of sand - the water is just so amazingly clear.

    Great news about the scan and as for the Letrozole - it's always got to be your choice.

    I know what you mean about the boredom.  I get so tired but everything is so ho-hum...and if it's not, it's usually because someone has irked me big time.

    Take care and enjoy the adventures!
  • ddonddon Member Posts: 346
    @kezmusc and @Sister - you two give me hope. It’s encouraging to know you both had node involvement and are still here and well. Long may it continue!!
  • kezmusckezmusc Member Posts: 1,536
    Congratulations @Sister that's awesome!  <3<3

    @ddon  They can't get rid of us that fast lol!  xoxo
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