Home Now what? The highs and lows of survivorship



Non BC Vent.

ZoffielZoffiel Regional VictoriaMember Posts: 3,049
Hi folks, excuse my for being a bit off topic but I am SO BLOODY PISSED OFF that I need to let off some steam and I think my tribe will get this.
I've had a crappy little 'thing' on my face for years and years, Neary two decades. A tiny sebaceous cyst that then became a small cluster of tiny lumps. Every now and then, one of these things would pop and a tiny hard lump of stuff would come out. A bit disgusting, but not too alarming. I've always been assured this was nothing to worry about, unless it changed. Oddly enough it would change when I was having chemo; it--along with the myriad of skin horribles those of you who grew up in the 60s and 70 would be familiar with--would disappear.
Anyway, 2020 has been such a delight that I was unsurprised when said thing started to look a bit manky. My very sensible GP, once I could get an appointment, told me the thing and I had to part company and as it was just below my eye she wouldnt do it. Which surgeon would I like to see? 
That's like asking which form of anthrax I'd prefer. Over the years, I've  churned through most of the locals and,for one reason or another, vowed never to go back to them. So I've made an appointment with a guy who's only been here a couple of years.
I disliked the smarmy narcissist on sight. He agreed the thing was a BCC, and it needed to go, so, after some persuasion on my behalf, he agreed to do it under a local.
I've got a little meditation trick that I use when undergoing any procedure I'm not pleased about, so I explained this too him and told him I didn't need to be reassured,asked how I was going or given a commentary about what he was doing. Please don't talk to me unless you need me to do something.
I should have got up and left when he huffed and did a condescending eye roll.
He was so fucking rough. The area wasn't properly numbed and within 30 seconds he has launched into this tirade about a tenant in a rental property. The problems he was having with a car dealer. On and On, one grievance after another while he is slicing a chunk off my dial.
I lay there motionless for about 15 minutes. I could feel him putting the stitches in and finally cracked it.
'Would you mind giving me your undivided attention for the rest of the procedure?'
You'd think I'd slapped him. I honestly think he'd forgotten I was conscious. More huffing and puffing before telling me he'd finished and stomping off.
The wound bled and bled. I had blood running down my face and neck and two black eyes by the time I staggered out to the car. The appointment to have the sutures out was in two weeks which is too long. Wouldn't change it, so by that time the stitches were imbedded and I'd had to take the filthy dressing off. I cried when I saw what he had done. What a mess.
I'm not a particularly vain woman, but I am not happy about looking like an extra in a Mad Max movie. He's sown the wound up unevenly, I have a really nasty pleat under my eye and what looks like a nipple on my cheek. Two stitch sinuses which won't heal. It's disfiguring and on my face. I've had some crap surgical outcomes in the past, but I've been able to put clothes over them.
I've gone back and asked if he was happy with the job and he told me to leave his offices. 
Why does it always have to be so hard? 
Sorry about the extended whinge.  I am really unhappy. Yes, I'll probably have to get some plastic surgery to fix it, or just live with it. All the while the fucker will keep slicing away at 1200 an hour.
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Comments

  • MicheleRMicheleR South AustraliaMember Posts: 62
    Sorry you've had such an awful experience. Can you complain the some authority?


  • ZoffielZoffiel Regional VictoriaMember Posts: 3,049
    @MichelleR I probably can complain, but after 14 years of being bounced about on the BC train, I'm nearly out of steam. I've been a vigorous complainant in the past--and given some of the bullshit that I've been subjected to I had every reason to be vocal. This is just so defeating.
    Having been through the process of complaining about surgeons before --the one who put my port in shoved the tube all the way into my left ventricle which was life threatening-- I'm familiar with their defence mechanisms. They can kill people and skate out of negligence actions. I'll be able to pay someone else to tidy up the mess as much as possible, but there is no way they will criticize each other's work, and they will never testify against their own.
    I'm a weather-beaten older woman with grey hair. If I'd been in my twenties he may, or may not, have taken more care.
  • ZoffielZoffiel Regional VictoriaMember Posts: 3,049
    @Afraser. I'm already banned from his Facebook page...
    I am sick and tired of pulling my battle undies on. Over it. 
    I'll go and see my GP and ask her advice on who I should see about repair work. Until someone considers there is a remedy, there is no complaint.
    If pushed, his practice nurse may, or may not, be helpful. Her horrified gasp when she went to take the stitches out and total silence when I asked her how it looked was telling. I got the impression she thinks he is a jerk too.
  • AfraserAfraser MelbourneMember Posts: 3,178
    The nurse may be an ally, but she too is in an invidious position. I understand your energy conservation but it’s both deeply annoying and very depressing. Older, grey haired women deserve much, much better. The GP is a good start - best wishes. 
  • arpiearpie Mid North Coast, NSWMember Posts: 4,162
    That’s a shocker @Zoffiel ... the least we expect from our surgeons is some sort of professionalism and an acceptable outcome.  

    There Really needs to be an independent review panel to decide whether “Yes, shit job” or “No, ok job”.  

    I know that dentists in NSW have such a panel, where independent dentist assess ‘dodgy work’.

    Was he a bona fide plastic surgeon? Not good enough!

    Happy to check out his FB page on your behalf ......  ;) 
  • Blossom1961Blossom1961 Regional VictoriaMember Posts: 1,677
    @Zoffiel whinge to whoever will or won’t listen. Even if they don’t want to hear it. Your right, the medical professionals stick together. My dad died of negligence but the solicitors All told us not to bother taking it further. However, when the incompetent doctor did my biopsy without the anaesthetic and also caused nerve damage, I whinged........to everyone. More than once. Actually, I think every time I saw a doctor I whinged about this idiots incompetency. Twelve months later I had to go back to the same place for a mammo. Needless to say I was a mess before I arrived, only to find out he had been asked to leave some months before. It won’t fix the mess he has left you with, but it may protect someone else. Sending big virtual hugs (that way you get out of having a real one - this time)
  • PV123PV123 Member Posts: 157
    Hi @Zoffiel

    i am so sorry to hear about your experience.  I really hope it heals well after all of that and doesn’t cause you any more grief. What the BC and all the related procedures have made me realise that for many health care providers we are just a number, not a real person with feelings..  I remember when my mum was in the hospital and the nurse helping her was so rough when turning her on her side, it made me cry seeing her treated like this.   I asked the nurse “ would you treat her like this if she was your mum”.  Of course she had no answer to that, she just walked away.  
  • Dory65Dory65 Member Posts: 223
    There should be some way of doing customer reviews. Can you 'google' review him?
  • SisterSister Adelaide Hills, SAMember Posts: 4,703
    @zoffiel I am so sorry this has happened to you.  It's absolutely shitty.  We may not be gorgeous young things any more but that doesn't give permission to not take care of us.  I bet he was willing to take the money.  But I can also understand that it all gets too much when you have to keep fighting.  I do think your GP is best first step but make sure you've got the best photos you can get because you may want to take this further when you have the energy.  I know that I don't have to say this really because you are a veteran at not taking crap quietly.
  • iserbrowniserbrown Regional VictoriaMember Posts: 4,310
    edited October 25
    Unfair!
    Unprofessional!
    Unacceptable!

    Although battle weary I agree with others at least a discussion with the GP.

    Take care 

  • arpiearpie Mid North Coast, NSWMember Posts: 4,162
    I googled the 2 surgeons my GP recommended I use and purely on what I read on their google reviews, didn’t go with the female.   Her reviews said she was impatient with her patients, often late and no bedside manner.  That was good enough for me to not use her! 

    Definitely google him and see what comes up.
  • ZoffielZoffiel Regional VictoriaMember Posts: 3,049
    @arpie I did google him. And I looked at his research papers which included one on facial surgery.
    The reviews--there are only 4 even though he has been working in the district for 7 years -- are certainly not representative of my experience and they are all 5 stars which I find suspicious in the extreme. Hind sight is 20/20, hey?
    He lists the sort of procedure I had and general cosmetic surgery as being one of his competencies though admittedly his main specialty is in another field. You'd think he could put a straight line of stitches in.
  • kezmusckezmusc Member Posts: 1,507
    Geeezus @Zoffiel

    That's awful you poor thing.  I honestly don't know what to say.  How on earth can he just ask you to leave his office?  What an asshole.  Give us his name and we can all give him shit reviews. It's just one bloody thing after another isn't it?   :(

    xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
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