Still feeling discombobulated!

Spillsy Member Posts: 96
Hi everyone, 
I finished treatment, nov 2018, and tried to get my life back  2019, I feel like I take 2 steps forward then 2 back, and my the end of 2019 was feeling totally deflated again, fatigued, weight gain, unfit, constant dry mouth from radiotherapy, I think. Chemo fog and a reversion back into extreme introversion.
 I feel like I don’t belong anywhere, and feel so on the outside of friendships, have lost contact with lots of people, well, as I do hate being the cancer woman!
lots of people dropped off, and I find it so hard when I run into them, as I really can’t be bothered with small talk. 
Bloody cancer the gift that keeps on giving! 



  • Blossom1961
    Blossom1961 Member Posts: 2,430
    @Spillsy I recognise that feeling of not belonging. It is hard to explain to someone who hasn’t been there. We are just not the same person we used to be. Similar, yet different in many ways. It is hard to accept but we cannot change it. It takes a previously strong relationship to keep friendships. Look for those who accept who you are. Sure, you will probably lose a few along the way, but that is not necessarily a bad thing. Sending big hugs as you navigate through. I finished active treatment at the same time as you and often wonder if there is an end.
  • kmakm
    kmakm Member Posts: 7,974
    edited January 2020
    I'm still upended @Spillsy. I finished in May 2018. Since getting my antidepressant dose right in October 2019 I feel like I'm on firmer footing which is a big help. I'm also seeing a clinical psychologist regularly, and exercising (pilates and yoga) three to four times a week. Like @primek the latter has given me something good on which to focus, and you can achieve tangible results.

    I still have a ways to go. This is not a quick process for many of us. You're not alone, hang in there. Big hug, K xox
  • Afraser
    Afraser Member Posts: 4,392
    Everyone should make their own choices but one of the reasons I bought a wig was to stop being immediately identified as a ‘cancer victim’, a term I loathe, because of hair loss. I’m not much for ‘cancer battler’ either! I looked perfectly well through treatment otherwise and while I was happy to tell friends and colleagues, I wanted the option to
    tell or not. There are hair libraries available so you can try one out at little/no cost. It just might help. Best wishes. 
  • PV123
    PV123 Member Posts: 202
    Thank you @Afraser
    i will think about buying a wig, I would like to go back to work but I dread being pitied so a wig will solve that problem.  Did you find the wig itchy, specially in summer.
  • Afraser
    Afraser Member Posts: 4,392
    No I didn’t but I’m in Melbourne - it may be different in northern parts of Australia with higher humidity. I got a synthetic wig - cheaper and lighter than real hair, and much easier to look after. Wash, shake, dry on a stand and comb! No styling required. Also you may really never want to look at it again after your hair grows back☺️. While everyone at work knew I was wearing one, it was really a two hour wonder! Then everyone forgot about it. People who didn’t know, didn’t know. I bought mine at a cancer/alopaecia specialist rather than online as I found a fitting helpful, I’d never worn a wig before. But it’s mostly pretty straightforward, mine required a tiny stitch inside for a perfect fit and when my hair started to grow back, taking out that little tuck meant it fitted well until my hair was long enough to go wig-less. Best wishes.