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Is it? Isn’t it? Anxiously waiting...

PhenPhen Member Posts: 6
edited November 2019 in Newly diagnosed
I don’t usually talk about what’s going on, but it’s gotten too much today. I’m feeling really anxious and hoping someone can give me reassurance or even just witness this period of uncertainty...

A bit of back story... I found a lump a few months ago in my left breast. It was only small and I thought it was just a minor injury/swelling that would go down (I get them from time to time). It didn’t. It started getting bigger so I went and got it checked out. GP was concerned and sent me for ultrasound/mammogram. Results came back that they thought it was fibroadenoma and I had them in both breasts. The lump was an irregular shape and had some suspicious features, so they recommended fine needle biopsy of the lump, as well as one of the lumps in my right breast. Results were that I had fibroadenoma in right breast and papillary lesion in the left breast. Papillary lesion appeared to be benign, but they told me it still had suspicious features and as some benign papillary lesions turn out to be cancerous, they wanted to remove it as a precaution. The registrar assured me that the risk was small, then the specialist came in to conference and said it needed to be out in 2 weeks. Then the registrar told me that they would see me for follow up and decide whether more surgery was necessary. I was feeling a bit confused at the time, because he seemed at once to be telling me not to worry because it was nothing and also that it could end up being worse than suspected and require further treatment because it still might be cancer.

They did a surgical excision on 8/11 and I was told that I would get a call or a letter to schedule an appointment and that I’d be seen for the follow up in 2 weeks where they would discuss results of the pathology, regardless of the results, but not to worry if it was a bit later than that because it might even be a half week longer depending on their availability.

Fast forward to now, I haven’t heard anything from the hospital except for a text message this morning reminding me that I have an appointment tomorrow morning. This is a lot earlier than I was expecting to be seen (not yet 2 weeks even) and they didn’t actually give me any warning that the appointment was happening. I don’t know whether it’s a good thing or a bad thing that they are seeing me early, but I’ve had this dreadful feeling of foreboding all day. Do they call you in earlier if they find cancer or later? Does it make a difference at all?

To make matters worse, it was my first day back at work today and the text came about 5 minutes before I started. 

I haven’t told many people what’s going on and I don’t want to worry people, so it feels like I have this huge secret weighing me down and the anxiety is driving me crazy. Not sure what to do with myself. 
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Comments

  • shs14shs14 Member Posts: 112
    @Phen82, that sounds like it has been handled badly. Better to find out sooner rather than later and I’m sure the fact that it’s sooner doesn’t necessarily mean bad news. Just miscommunication. I’m a great preworrier! but it sounds from what you’ve said that it’s more likely benign than not. Good luck for tomorrow, maybe try and distract yourself as much as you can until then.
  • PhenPhen Member Posts: 6
    Thanks so much for the reassurance! I feel like I’ve been pretty good with the everything until this afternoon. I don’t think the discomfort from the surgery is helping my mood either lol. I’ll probably feel better after having some pain relief and relaxing for a bit. At least the appointment tomorrow is first thing. It will be nice to get a definite answer at least. 
  • suburbangirlsuburbangirl Perth, Western AustraliaMember Posts: 104
    Hi @Phen82,
    I totally understand  the high level of anxiety while waiting for results. All I can say is your appointment tomorrow will be here before you know it, and you will know your results.
    Wishing you the best outcome for tomorrow, 
  • arpiearpie Mid North Coast, NSWMember Posts: 3,626
    All the best for your appt tomorrow xxxx
  • iserbrowniserbrown Regional VictoriaMember Posts: 4,050
    Most important is your appointment is nearly here and results in. Fingers crossed all well
    Take care and best wishes 
  • PhenPhen Member Posts: 6
    Thanks everybody. It’s funny, I was nervous yesterday because I hadn’t received a date for follow up and I’ve been worried since they gave me a date! Lol. At least it’s not too long now to wait. It’s all about perspective isn’t it?
  • primekprimek Broken HillMember Posts: 5,307
    We all get how scary it is waiting for results..and we've  all been there. I glad now it's quick. Your posted appointment will probably arrive in the post this week..please check in after you know more.
  • PhenPhen Member Posts: 6
    I’m thinking the posted appointment slip will be in my mailbox tomorrow when I get home lol. 

    I’m feeling a lot less anxious after getting it off my chest. I’ll post after the appointment and let you know how it goes. :)
  • SisterSister Adelaide Hills, SAMember Posts: 4,502
    Hospitals can be a bit shit in how they handle this sort of thing so don't take it as necessarily a bad thing (other than the insensitivity of course).  Waiting to find out is a really difficult time.  Best wishes for today.
  • strongtogetherstrongtogether BrisbaneMember Posts: 139
     All the best for your appointment. 
  • Anne65Anne65 Member Posts: 347
    @Phen82 Sending you lots of love & positive thoughts for today. Look forward to hearing how it went. It will be a relief either way just to know & move forward. We are all very impatient when it comes to waiting & we all think the worse even though many times there is nothing to worry about. Love & strength xx
  • kmakmkmakm MelbourneMember Posts: 7,869
    Not just hospitals. I got the instructions for my Breastscreen callback the day after that appointment... Not to mention the hideously insensitive reminder that I was due for my next mammogram despite the fact that I was diagnosed with BC through them thereby disqualifying me from their 'care' for at least five years. Oh and the little matter of not having breasta any more. I wouldn't expect them to know the latter but they bloody well should know the former.

    So no, pay no mind to the timing of the appointment! Best of luck today, K xox
  • PhenPhen Member Posts: 6
    edited November 2019
    So I waited 2 hours after my appointment time in the crowded waiting room, only to find out that they don’t have the results as they need to run more tests. They couldn’t give me any idea of what was going on, did nothing to help me and made me an appointment for next week on Tuesday (when they originally said they would see me). I’m so upset over the whole thing. I used compassionate leave and nearly all my sick leave taking time off that they said I needed for the surgery in the first place, now to be stuffed around for appointments as well is really frustrating. The appointment next week is later in the day, so I’ll need to take most of the day off work, if not the whole day and I’ll have to take it as unpaid leave as I used up the last of my sick leave today. I’m the sole income earner in my household so that’s stressful in itself. 

    Trying really hard not to stress but they are making it hard! 

    Kmakm - that sounds absolutely awful! I can’t imagine how painful it would have been to receive that reminder! 
  • strongtogetherstrongtogether BrisbaneMember Posts: 139
    Sorry it was a rubbish day for you @Phen82
    I hope you will get some good news soon.
  • kmakmkmakm MelbourneMember Posts: 7,869
    What an inconsiderate omnishambles @Phen82. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Keep yourself distracted over the next few days as best you can.

    Yes, it was surprisingly unsettling. I knew that this was something they did as other members here have had the same experience, but it did set me back more than I expected. So thoughtless and easily preventable. K xox
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