New to BCNA

EmfitzEmfitz Member Posts: 4
Hi. I was diagnosed with bc in January. Ive had a single mastectomy and have round 4 of dose dense chemo on wednesday. I'm 37 and have no family history. I have 2 sons 13 and 14 and dont know anyone who has been through this, let alone anyone around my age going through this. I'm not usually a blog/forum type person but with a long journey still ahead, its getting lonely so I thought I'd try reaching out on here :). Im in adelaide and look forward to meeting some new people i can relate to and talk to. X
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Comments

  • iserbrowniserbrown Regional VictoriaMember Posts: 3,696
    @Emfitz ;
    Hi!  Sorry you are in this predicament but you have found this forum and there's a lot of us willing to help and cheer you along.  Noticed you said you are only 37 so perhaps if you click on this link below and join that group as well as 

    https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/group/10-young-women

    There are others on here from your home town and I am sure when they come online they will say Hello as well as

    Take care and best wishes with your ongoing treatment
  • kmakmkmakm MelbourneMember Posts: 7,503
    edited May 23
    Welcome to the forum @Emfitz. I hope you find it as warm and helpful as I have.

    I am not 37, but I do have kids ranging in age from 18 down to 9 at the time of my diagnosis (late 2017). It's a very particular challenge managing the big C with kids.

    @CatRM is a similar age to you with younger kids, and @Sister, while older, is in SA and has teenagers. There's quite a gang of us here. We are all familiar with camo crying in the shower so the kids don't see! There's also a private young women's group you can join.

    https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/group/10-young-women

    Hit us up with any questions, rants, vents and even laughs you have along the way. Any kind of major illness is isolating, and the sheer relief of being able to talk it over with fellow travellers is enormous. We get it!

    If you'd like to, tell us a little about how your kids are handling your BC.

    We've got you! K xox  :)
  • NefertariNefertari Member Posts: 94
    Welcome Emfitz, you have found the right place.  I'm pretty new to the forum also and have found it a wonderful supportive network.   It really helps to know you are not alone and there are so many brave people on here to help you.
    Although I have a supportive family and friends, it is here where people really understand what you are going through.  Big hug from Victoria xx
  • kezmusckezmusc Member Posts: 1,220
    Hi @Emfitz,

    Welcome to the forum lovely.  I was never a blog/forum kinda gal either.  I did stalk the pages for about 8 months before I posted. 
    No one, no matter how supportive,  can understand exactly how you are feeling like someone who has been there or is going through the same rollercoaster ride.
    I was a little older than you at diagnoses.(45) with 5 teens/young adults  at home at the time. Makes for a lot of love and a lot of group tears.
     You are never alone on here no matter what time of the day or night. Check out the night howls thread if it is 3am, guarantee you wont be the only one awake.

    We all "get it" and will walk every step of the way with you if you want.
    All the best sweet.
    xoxoxoxoxoxo


  • Brenda5Brenda5 Burrum Heads, QldMember Posts: 2,315
    Welcome to the forum. Your kids ages are good as you can still boss them around. They can do the hanging out of the laundry and you can teach them simple recipes on cooking too. There will be times that you are laid low in bed and they will have to fend for themselves so best get them started now. :)
  • BlackWidowBlackWidow Lake GardensMember Posts: 167
    Hello @Emfitz.  None of us wanted to join this forum but somehow we all found our way here so welcome to a supportive club of men and ladies who understand what you are going through.  There is always someone around to answer any queries or just send a cyber hug.  Please feel comfortable in asking anything at all as help is here.  If you don't want your post to be seen by everyone do join one of the private groups or send a personal message to a member.  Thinking of you.  Anne  <3
  • arpiearpie Mid North Coast, NSWMember Posts: 2,994
    Hi @Emfitz ; - sorry to see you here, but you're in the right spot for lots of support, comfort and advice - as we've all 'been there, done that'.

    There was no family history with me, either - so a real slap in the face!   Whilst in my mid 60s & no kids ..... I just want to send you some big hugs to help you thru this next lot of chemo & beyond.   xx

    If you need a laugh - we even have some 'funny posts' that you can look at & hopefully have a giggle ..... feel free to add to them!
    https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/19116/friday-funnies#latest

    All the best for your ongoing treatment xx
  • Blossom1961Blossom1961 Regional VictoriaMember Posts: 1,295
    Hi @Emfitz Welcome to the forum where I am sure you will find support for all the stages you go through. The people here are fantastic and I certainly would have struggled so much more without them. Sending big hugs your way.
  • EmfitzEmfitz Member Posts: 4
    Brenda5 im not sure what teenage boys you've met but they sound great lol

  • SisterSister Adelaide Hills, SAMember Posts: 4,328
    @emfitz Welcome to the forum.  There's a few of us Adelaideans on here and others from further afield in SA.  I was never much of a forum person either but this one has saved my sanity on more than one occasion.  I had my treatment, 2 surgeries, 16 chemo and 15 days rads, last year at and I'm back at work this year.  My kids were 11, 12 & 15 when I was diagnosed and I have to say, it's amazing how teens & tweens can step up when it's needed.  Where are you having your chemo?  I had mine through Adelaide Oncology and they have an exercise programme that I accessed while having chemo - beneficial while getting to chat to others in the same situation.  I believe many of the private clinics and the public hospitals have something like this going on.
  • jennyssjennyss Western NSWMember Posts: 570
    Dear @Emfitz ,

    from jennyss in Western NSW
  • primekprimek Broken HillMember Posts: 5,126
    Hi and welcome.

    Below are a couple of links to help you find your way around the forum and also how to find a breast care nurse and how to order a MY journey Kit if you haven't got one yet. 
     
    Navigating the online community formerly the what and how thread.

    http://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/14879/navigating-the-online-community-formerly-the-what-and-how-thread

    Breast Care Nurses

    https://www.mcgrathfoundation.com.au/OurMission/OurNurses/FindANurse.aspx 

    My Journey online tool and other resources. 

    https://www.bcna.org.au/resources/

    BCNA Helpline 1800 500 258

    If you have any questions, concerns or require any further information or support please call 1800 500 258. BCNA’s helpline will now be open from 9am-6pm Monday to Thursday and 9am to 5pm Fridays.  

    Other useful links

    How to understand your pathology reports

    https://www.cancer.org/treatment/understanding-your-diagnosis/tests/understanding-your-pathology-report/breast-pathology/breast-cancer-pathology

    And if thinking about reconstruction, or even just wondering about it,  we also have a private group

    http://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/group/1-choosing-breast-reconstruction

    There's usually someone to chat with here and no question too silly.
    My sons were older teenagers when diagnosed and to be honest I felt needed me more than when younger,  as they were struggling with their transition to manhood. I did have a family history, having lost a sister to breast cancer so my fear was very real to me and my siblings. I think it's  hard for us all and most of us feel very much alone, not wanting to burden others with our thoughts and always putting on the brave face. On here you express that fear. ..with people who totally get it.
    Kath x
  • youngdogmumyoungdogmum Gold Coast Member Posts: 199
    Hi @Emfitz
    Im unfortunately 10 years your junior and no children to boss around/manage, but it does happen to women this young. Feels like we’re the only ones yes, but it does. I’d say I’m the youngest active member of the forum right now, but there’s quite a few ladies who were diagnosed in their 30’s who post, including a few others recently diagnosed.

    The hardest thing I’ve found is that no one has time for me- everyone is busy with their jobs/young families, perhaps that’s what you’re finding too. Whereas older women tend to have semi-retired friends etc who may have more time for them (that’s just an assumption so no one bite my head off!) 
    I have a friend in another city diagnosed a week before me with triple negative and she’s 30; another friend I’ve met at chemo diagnosed a week after me and she’s 26. 

    Something I found helpful was to go to a generic young persons cancer support network; my breast nurse found one for me. No one else with BC was there but two other young ladies with cancer who just “get it”. Maybe ask if there’s something similar in Adelaide. 

    Best wishes to you.
  • iserbrowniserbrown Regional VictoriaMember Posts: 3,696
    @youngdogmum ;

    Hi!  perhaps, if you haven't seen it already, check out this post

    https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/20970/exercise-groups#latest

    @Sandramj has put up information on groups in the Gold Coast area - you may find some benefit from one of those - especially a pampering day or maybe the exercise group - have a read through the post

    Take care
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