Active treatment done, now what!!

Spillsy

Hi everyone, I haven’t been on here for a while, I finished the triad of treatment on the 17 th October, and am feeling a bit lost!!!
People think I am all fixed and sorted, as though I have had a bad cold or something, but as we all know there are hormonal drugs, side effects, fatigue, chemo brain, surgical scars, scans, tests etc. 
Life is carrying on a normal, work is busy, I have little energy, but am  taking it easy.
I feel like I have been out of the loop with people for nearly a year. Not sure how to get relationship back on track either, also feels strained. Any tips on moving forward, there are so many things I want to do, holidays, exercise, hobbies, career, study..... but I feel so tired. 

Beryl C.

Spillsy - take each day as it comes, its healthy to have plans but anyone on this discussion site knows that we need to be like bamboo, 'bend with the wind to maintain what strength you have'. Maybe a talk with one of the BCNA staff.

primek

Having a break with your loved ones is a great way to celebrate new beginnings. Accept that you need time and you will need more rest. I didn't work through chemo and returned on reduced hours initially. I needed a sleep every afternoon. 

If you are finding full time work too much consider reducing hours short term. Don't take on too much. Tell people if you feel at your capacity and keep great notes and to do lists as chemo brain takes time to resolve. I used to go for a short walk at lunch to give myself a mental break and to increase my fitness. 

I say I'm still recovering from cancer treatment. 2 years on...I still am. My fitness in exercise is still short  of my pre chemo fitness. I keep trying to improve it.

arpie

I think we've all felt that, @Spillsy  -  check out this post I put up earlier today - it explains one lady's take on  it ....
https://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/discussion/19897/an-interesting-read#latest

Don't be too tough on yourself - it will take time (assuming everything goes 'on track'!)  Do the best you can - let people know if you aren't feeling up to doing stuff if they request it - I am finding it hard to get back into the 'social scene' with our friends ..... it all just seems too hard!    

My 'anniversary of detection' is coming up in a matter of weeks - I'll be having another ultrasound (I had a mammogram a few months back so don't need that one.)  Then, my anniversary BS appointment in January!

If you DO have any hobbies or favourite past times - give them a go - slowly!  Build up to it.  If you are able to 'keep busy' - it will help keep your mind off stuff ..... I know just how important my kayak fishing and Ukulele group has been in keeping me 'sane' during the last 11 months ..... and is a continuing part of my recovery.  If I didn't have them - I'd have gone batty, I reckon!

All the best with your recovery - it does just take time tho. xx

Romla

@Spillsy I found I needed to know other survivors as I needed to know I could and would get thru - that it would be ok.This blog , the YWCA program Encore and even a local breast cancer group all helped me make my first steps to recovery as they all got where I was at.I can’t explain how good it was to see fellow breast cancer patients out and about in my suburb getting on with their lives.It also helped to have people to share my stumbles with by talking on the blog or directly with others.For months after active treatment ends it is still a dominant thought in your mind and others who have not been there don’t get that.Eventually you ease back into the life you had before and it takes up more of your time but you are changed and it is ok .

Spillsy

Thanks both, such good sound advice, it’s frustrating, I am going to try to start up slow,  I want to get back to everything at once!! But I know I need to take my time. 
I have got back reading novels, which is so immersive and 👍🏻 fitness needs some work.
I also have my surveilence mammogram/ uc booked in for mid nov, which will be nearly a year since diagnosis, ovaries are yet to be cut out, but I need a breather.... 

Thanks all again, such a supportive group

Romla

@spillsy also I forgot what has helped me a lot also is daily one hour walks.I have never been much into exercise but find it helps a lot the way I feel emotionally  as well as physically helping with joint pain from hormone therapy.I bought a runners armband on eBay , asked my daughter to load my phone with music and off I go bugging out for an hour - the family accept it as my time and I try to do it twice daily if I can.

Romla

PS Walking seems to help with tiredness as well as getting a good night’s sleep too.

Spillsy

yes- I walked all the way through treatment, as much as I could, I used my Garmin watch to monitor steps, a nd felt a sense of pride, looking at my graphs and charts!!! what a nerd!! it was my saviour, and I felt I was doing what I could for both body and mind. I used to swim twice a week, before Cancer, and sort of gave up during chemo, and haven't been in the pool for about 8 months!! I did however throw myself in the ocean at the weekend, half wetsuit on, as in Tassie, and it felt like the best thing ever, so hoping water warms up here a bit soon.....

I have met some great BC buddies here in TAS, and they have been my rock, as too have you ladies who have responded, to my posts, I feel there is so much support from those who have been there and got the T shirt!! 

poodlejules

Hi @Spillsy coming up to 2 years post diagnosis myself and don't feel 'normal' as yet , still very tired too. Amen to all the above advice. I was going to suggest an Otis break but just looked and there's none in Tassie yet,such a shame. Maybe plan a short break away from home to rekindle those relationships. All the best x

Spillsy

Yes, we need a break as family, for sure, its just quarantining some time, we are like passing ships in our house, with soccer training, almost every night!!! We did manage to sit down last night and not turn the telly on, and play Pictionary, then Big Boggle,  board games, which my 11 year old loves to do! which was really nice and I think we will be doing more family games nights to reconnect!! it was a blast.

kmakm

@Spillsy Walking was my saviour during chemo as well. If I did nothing else at least I did that.

I'm all at sea in survivorship too. I'm seeing a new psychologist tomorrow who I hope can help me. I need to move the dial, flip a switch or some other metaphor to enjoy my life again. Despite the trials and travails of my life which I've taken in my stride, the intestinal fortitude which saw me travel the world on my own, live in foreign places alone, and all the other stuff an independent woman and mother of the 20th and 21st century does, I have no idea what to do now. It's a challenge. Good luck for your new normal. K xox

lrb_03

Life after treatment finishes can be hard,  I know I felt very adrift, for a long time. It may well be that you need to find some counselling, maybe even as a couple
This may be a starting point

http://www.cancertas.org.au/support-services/

If you haven't already found it 
Take care

Spillsy

Its a real challenge to navigate, everyone thinks we get back to before treatment the instant it stops, but they don't realise, what we still have to endure, my todo list, is massive, with appointments and follow ups, to keep track of, as well as catching up on the things, which have gone by the way side.  Hot flushes and stumbly brain after chemo..... I am finding the normal a bit shit

lrb_03

Give yourself time, you've really only just finished.  The rest of the world might forget,  but recovery will take at least as long as active treatment took, often longer. 
I was just doing some more searching on the Cancer Council website,  and was reminded of their webinars
https://www.cancercouncil.com.au/get-support/webinars/

I've "attended" some in real time, watched some later. They've all been very worthwhile

arpie

All the best for tomorrow, @kmakm  xxxx