Hi I'm 42 just found out on the 29th august that I have breast cancer.I'm new to this I have my ups and downs I don't know how to handle this there is days where I cry a lot and then pretend that I am OK but really I'm not my family won't do things that they normally do my son had a family BBQ with his in laws and said he won't go how can he pretend to be happy.And then there is days where I'm OK I can't really talk to my family about this as all I do is cry

Just wanted to say take care and try and roll with it. The normality of what you had prior may not return as the node clearance has upset the nerves and the lymphatic system. My armpit used to feel wet for a long time as well as numb. In time I had a lymphatic drainage massage as the system needs to find new pathways. Ask when you can start using deodorant again, and that is hilarious when it is numb because you are not sure if you have rolled it on or not! Have to laugh!It will all work out, just the minute details are not always explained until you are in it and wondering, who the, what the!Everyone here has words of wisdom borne through experience, just ask away!

Hi @Leilani just a couple of things to add to the other ladies. Remember to acknowledge to yourself that this is a truely horrible shock, ( if you had had a car accident it would almost be easier to understand the instant change of life), it's so hard in those first days but try to breathe and remember you deserve and should come first. You sound very social. Maybe an easy way of dealing with the invites, like your neices bday, say you will do your best to come, then on the day if you aren't up to it just wish her a lovely day and say ' I won't be there I'm not feeling well enough but look forward to seeing pictures. This way you immediately remove your own mind talk about going or not going. Really I'm sure your family just want you well. My daughter was 17 when I was diagnosed and she found it better if I would let her know what was happening as I knew it. This stopped her imagining the worst. (I did always put a positive spin on the info). Im 3 years down the track and all good. Lots of ladies on here are years and years past their first diagnosis. Xxo

My daughter is 17 as well and she has been to nearly every appointments that I have and I talk to her about what might happen with like treatment. It's my nieces 6th B-Day next week and she asked me if I can come to her party and I said that I will see how I go and how I'm feeling and I told her that if I can't make it I will buy her a present and send it to her

It makes perfect sense and we all know those feelings. Take one day at a time otherwise it is very easy to be overwhelmed. Don't fret about things that haven't happened - they may never happen. Husbands have a habit of not talking (not about anything serious anyway!) but he may be happy to help you if you tell him what to do! It's all daunting to begin with but little by little we find ways to manage these new situations. You are an organiser, and you will find a way through this too. Keep your eye on the prize (cancer free) and your sense of your own worth intact. That's a precious thing. Best wishes

Thank you for your advice I will take one day at a time. I feel a little bit better talking to some one that has been there or is going threw it I didn't know if I can talk to anyone

Scared worried and confused | BCNA Online Network

70 Replies

Leilani
Member
7 years ago
The same I hope everyone on here all get a break we all need it😊
kmakm
Member
7 years ago
I hope that for you too @Leilani. And for all of us.
Leilani
Member
7 years ago
I hope I get a break from my health problems and next year is a better one
Leilani
Member
7 years ago
Hello I might try some overtime half hour before I go to bed. I love all u lady's for helping me out with my health problems
iserbrown
Member
7 years ago
Crumbs you have had a rough run with health. There are previous discussion posts about sleep or lack thereof. Personally I am fortunate and nod off except when Femara is giving me curry. I have an Ovaltine light break about half hour before bed and it's a habit that I started long before BC.
Best wishes
Take care
Leilani
Member
7 years ago
My family has been really good threw all this I had my left kidney removed last year and I was in pain with that but nothing like this one.

And for the sleep I'm lucky to get half hour here and half there I just wish I could get at lease a couple of good nights sleep.
arpie
Member
7 years ago
Cool @Leilani - I am glad you have the Pillow - it can really help! if you had a cut under your arm, there would be a bandage on it, so you'd know about it. ;) Yeah, being sedentary is a real pain in the proverbial ..... but it is better not to strain any internal stitching until you get the OK from your surgeon! ;) (Usually after any stitches have either been removed or dissolved!)

That is really cool that your daughter is looking after you so well - and your hubby is right ...... even if YOU aren't doing much - your body is running around 'inside itself' trying to 'get better' & recover from the surgery! So the more rest you have at this point, the better. xx

To help me sleep, sometimes I wear eye masks (like they give you on airplanes) and earplugs (also from airplanes) to help me get to sleep - and I make sure I have some Temase on hand, in case I still can't sleep!! I use the mask/ear plugs when I am away in our campervan too - as you NEVER get a dark area when camping! LOL

Sadly, sleep is one of the biggest bugbears/side effects of this whole shitty disease ...... I am not sure whether it is the anesthetic or just that our brain that decides "YOU ARE NOT GOING TO SLEEP A WHOLE NIGHT AGAIN" .... but it sort of happens! :( I hope it doesn't become a problem for you (it doesn't affect EVERYONE, thank god!!)

Take care & al the best xx
Leilani
Member
7 years ago
I do have a small pillow the one that the hospital gave me I'm not sleeping much at night.

I don't think I have a cut under the arm. It's so annoying not able to do anything I can't stand resting but like my husband says the more I rest the quicker I heal.

My daughter is spoiling me every time I go to get up and make a cuppa or something little she tells me to go and rest😊
arpie
Member
7 years ago
Yes, as @iserbrown says, Do you have a wound in your armpit - maybe delay using it til the wound heals? I was lucky - My few nodes were pulled out from under the skin (no incision) so I was able to use deodorant almost immediately. But the whole area from my nipple to underarm was rather sore & sorry & bruised and very numb!

Isn't it annoying - that period of not being able to 'do things'? ..... Just put your feet up, I hope your daughter is spoiling you - it is amazing how incapacitated you are, when 'one wing' isn't able to be used!!

As the Monk used to say in the TV series, Kung Fu ..... "Patience, Grass Hopper'' ;)

I hope you are able to sleep well .... do you have a small pillow to help support the affected arm? xx
Leilani
Member
7 years ago
I had surgery on the 25th of September with the bra I hate not wearing a bra