Scared worried and confused

Hi Leilani. Welcome to this forum - you will find a lot of support and information here.  First, can I say that you're not alone in how you're feeling.  The first days after diagnosis are so unreal and so scary.  You may find yourself in years one moment and totally numb the next.  This should settle a bit when you start treatment and have a plan of action.  For now, the best thing is to try to take it one thing at a time and breathe.  If you can find something to distract you, that's great but don't be surprised if breast cancer is in your every thought for awhile.  I would tell your son to still do things - he doesn't have to be happy but maybe he might be if he can forget for a little while.  And do try to tell your family a little about how you're feeling even if it's just to say that you're struggling to control your emotions.  Just remember that you're currently in shock and that you will get a handle on things when that has passed. Have you got an appointment with a surgeon?  If you can, make sure that you take someone you trust with you - it's always useful to have another pair of ears.  And is there someone you can ask to be gatekeeper? Someone who can field the well-meaning calls from people.  The last thing you want if you have a moment of not thinking about it is to have to go through everything with someone.

Hello sister I've seen the surgeon already I go in for surgery on the 25th of this month to get my breast removed. I have told my son to still do the things he likes to do and have a daughter as well she is 17 and I told her the same thing I have a friend and she will be with me and so will my daughter on the day of surgery but I told them that they should stay home but they insist of coming with me on the day of my surgery do I let them come 

For almost anything you do during this part of your life, the maxim is do what you want to do. Not what you think you should do, or what others want you to do (or think you should do), just what you want. Hard enough to know that yourself, sometimes! So if you will benefit by their presence, say yes. But if you feel you want to get your head around this by yourself, tell them to come next day. Let them be a part of it all though, You want to protect your children from worry, but the reality may be less confronting than what they can imagine, if they are out of the loop too much. Some practical tasks to help you in the coming weeks may be a useful channel for their energies and feelings. Best wishes.

 I appreciate the advice u are giving me. I have thought about that alot and my down side is what is my family and friends going to think of me are they going to look at me different are they going to treat me different and I  about what is my family going to do when I'm not here. I say to myself that I am going to bet this I know that I might have to have treatment after my surgery all my friends have said to me that If I need anything to let them know but I am that sort of person that likes to do things on my own I never ask for help I am always helping them.  Sorry if this don't make sense I'm new to this and I never talk to anyone I always do it on my own. I am worried about my husband as well he won't talk about it I know he is worried about me I wish he would open up to me but he wont

It makes perfect sense and we all know those feelings. Take one day at a time otherwise it is very easy to be overwhelmed. Don't fret about things that haven't happened - they may never happen. Husbands have a habit of not talking (not about anything serious anyway!) but he may be happy to help you if you tell him what to do! It's all daunting to begin with but little by little we find ways to manage these new situations. You are an organiser, and you will find a way through this too. Keep your eye on the prize (cancer free) and your sense of your own worth intact. That's a precious thing. Best wishes

Thank you for your advice I will take one day at a time. I feel a little bit better talking to some one that has been there or is going threw it I didn't know if I can talk to anyone

It sounds pretty normal to me. My husband couldn't talk to me about his fears but he talked to his sister and cried then. Never with me. He felt he needed to be strong.

I cried a lot but planned and powered along. Many people thinking I was fine but I spent many many nights awake in fear for not just myself but my family and what might happen if I didn't make it. Once treatment in full force you start just in survival mode, getting through each treatment. I couldn't plan a future or even a holiday for fear of jinxing myself. 
Once completed treatment you dare to imagine life with yourself still part of it and eventually start to embrace life again. Forever changed. Kath x

That's me I can't plan anything at the moment my niece wants me to go to her B-Day next month but I told her I will see as I can't plan anything I hate feeling like this. I think about will I feel like a burden to my family and friends after my surgery will I look like a freak to everyone I have more negative going threw my mind that I do positive is that natural to feel like this

Absolutely lovely. But you will get through this and people won't even notice the change. The waiting part prior surgery and treatment is the hardest. 

I wish I had the surgery and the treatment already I hate the wait game