Feeling down

Options
Susie9
Susie9 Member Posts: 5
edited August 2018 in General discussion
Hi,everyone,just an update..went back to PS yesterday,i now have nipple necrosis and have to go back to surgery tomorrow to remove dead skin and make sure there are no other issues.he was going to do first expander fill,but now that's been delayed..just feeling bit like its two steps back and haven't started any other treatment yet,chemo ect,feeling a bit overwhelmed,and on another I'm angry with myself that I can't stop smoking,feel like bit of an idiot about that,anyone else have this problem
«1

Comments

  • Flaneuse
    Flaneuse Member Posts: 899
    Options
    @Susie9 Sorry you're feeling so low. Understandable, given the news about your nipple. Like you need any more challenges at this stage ! Good advice from @kmakm. Take care. F x
  • Zoffiel
    Zoffiel Member Posts: 3,374
    Options

    I immediately thought of that quote form 'Airplane' "Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines" Yeah, I know we shouldn't joke about things like that, but sometimes what choice do you have.

    Smoking is a bad idea, it's also an addiction and if it was that bloody easy to give up, none of us would do it. There is a whole industry devoted to helping us quit, with mixed success rates . I'm down to one or two rollies a day at most and can go weeks without one. You'd think at that level of consumption I could just stop. Seems not. Maybe I don't want to. The money is a serious motivation which has probably been my main driver but I somehow can't take that final step and say 'never again'  Even having this conversation is making me wonder where my tin of tobacco is. Cut down as much as you can without driving yourself nuts.  The nipple thing sounds very stressful, I hope it turns out OK. Mxx

  • kezmusc
    kezmusc Member Posts: 1,544
    Options
    Hey @Susie9.

    I swore I was giving up after surgery.  Didn't happen.  I had this discussion with my BCN back then and she said (after giving me the lecture she was professionally obliged to) "do what you can but it's going to be a long year, one hard thing at a time" 18mths track and it still seems too hard. It's another up and down roller coaster to try and get through.

    @Zoffiel, maybe you don't want to.  I know if I told myself I am never going to do that again I surely will do it twice as much!

    Interesting fact:  Some public hospitals (Qld) will not do reconstruction on smokers (unless they quit prior to surgery of course) due to high complication and failure rate. They refer to PS or larger hospital to be reviewed on a case by case basis.

    Ouch for the nipple. Hope it gets better soon.

    Be good to you.
    xoxoxx
  • iserbrown
    iserbrown Member Posts: 5,579
    Options
    @susie9

    You've got plenty to contend with at present.
    When you are ready non smoking will become your norm. Until then it's a guilty pleasure.
    From someone who quit cold turkey at the age of 28 and haven't craved one since.
    Take care
  • Afraser
    Afraser Member Posts: 4,390
    Options
    Wanting to give up is the trick. I 'tried' a few times (light smoker so no excuses) but my heart wasn't really in it and so I didn't. Giving up when you are stressed is even harder. I gave up twenty odd years ago because I really wanted to - threw a half empty pack of cigarettes and a really nice lighter in the garbage bin. Never lit another one, never wanted to. Agree with @iserbrown, you'll know when you are ready. Good luck. 
  • Mira
    Mira Member Posts: 678
    Options
    Hey Susie9, it took me 7 tries over about 3 years to give up smoking and that was pre cancer so don't be hard on yourself.   I agree with the others that this isn't the best time to try to give up, but one tip I will give you is that caffeine hits the sensor in the brain that triggers a craving for a smoke.  It wasn't until I learnt this and cut down on caffeine that I could finally give up. 

     Oh, and another tip …. I was still having cravings years after my last smoke.

    Be kind to yourself, you have enough on your plate 
  • Sister
    Sister Member Posts: 4,960
    edited August 2018
    Options
    Hey @Susie9 Some people can go cold turkey but for most people, they will try a number of times before succeeding.  Did you know that smoking is one of the hardest addictions to break? Go easy on yourself, girl and cut yourself some slack.  I gave up over 20 years ago (wow! I'm shocked when I realise that).  Much of the quitting industry was in it's infancy then and I used patches. 

    Some tips that might help.  Make smoking uncomfortable... Don't sit down, hold the ciggie in different fingers, don't have a coffee or whatever at the same time, wait for a specified time after meals, smoke in designated places only, etc. Try not to smoke in a new place or with new people. Put off having a cigarette for a block of time and do something else. Have something healthy to eat to take away that craving taste in your mouth - I used mandarins.  And biggest thing is not to beat yourself up if you fall down - just move on. These can help to break down the psychological and physical addictions, gradually.

    But I'm only suggesting these things if you're ready to want to try them.  You've got enough at the moment to be stressing about more.
  • Susie9
    Susie9 Member Posts: 5
    Options
    Thanks for the support ladies,i just can't help but feel a bit guilty/ashamed/stupid for still wanting to smoke when I know it's bad for me,especially under these circumstances,i am lucky enough to have a supportive family which I'm extremely grateful for,my partner does nag a little about it(reformed smoker,who had no trouble giving up)but he does understand it's hard for me..will update tomorrow or next day RE surgery to remove necrotic skin..hope everything OK with expander otherwise that will be coming out too, xx
  • kmakm
    kmakm Member Posts: 7,974
    Options
    Good luck Susie. K xox
  • Janny54
    Janny54 Member Posts: 89
    Options

    O my @Susie9 reading your first post it was as if you were taking the words straight out of my brain. I was diagnosed last February and you would of thought that the first thing I would of done when leaving the Dr's surgery was to throw the packet of smokes in the bin, But instead I lit one up. The thing that frustrates me in my case was I stopped 3 days before my operation and didn't smoke while in hospital. Could of because believe it or not there was a smoking area on the grounds. So 8 days smoke free. And I didn't find it to hard. Leaving hospital YEP lit one up. Like you are I feel guilty/ashamed/stupid. I have cut down. But just can't seem to give it up completely. It's almost as if I think BC took so much its not taking that as well.

    Good luck with everything.

    Jan xxxx

  • kmakm
    kmakm Member Posts: 7,974
    Options
    Hey ladies it occurred to me that you might like to start a 'trying to quit smoking' discussion for support/consolation/tips. Could help some others out with the same issues & be easier to find. Just a thought!  :)  K xox
  • AllyJay
    AllyJay Member Posts: 950
    Options
    Hi there @Susie9 ...I started smoking at age  14, and aside from stopping when I was pregnant and then breastfeeding, I continued to smoke heavily until about age 55. I then gave up (sort of)...I still smoked when severely stressed and the between half a ciggie and half a pack of ciggies...it varied. Then my daughter got me onto E cigarettes, or vaping. I was able to get the  nicotine liquid online, but then stopped that, and now I just have a nicotine free mixture bought locally. It has a lovely banana, mango and caramel flavour, but you can get literally dozens of flavours. Menthol. liquorice, tobacco, apple and so on. I still get the hand / mouth gratification and the drawing in (I call it my Sucky Machine), of basically steam vapour, and then the visible blowing out of what appears to be smoke. So that whole ritual of the hand mouth thing, the sucking in and then the blowing out thing is still there. The cost is less than a quarter of cigarettes at the same volume and there is no ashtray smell on you or your clothing. No yellow fingers, and no tobacco breath. No tar, no carbon monoxide. I really suggest you give it a go. Since using the vape, I have not had even one drag on a real cigarette, despite going through the whole shitfest of the cancer gig including both tits getting the Big Chop and being diagnosed with a brain aneurysm. I'm now 60 and  ciggie free. Sending a big hug (((hug))).
  • kezmusc
    kezmusc Member Posts: 1,544
    Options
    Hey @AllyJay,

    Do you have a link to where you get it from? Sounds like it's worth a try.


  • AllyJay
    AllyJay Member Posts: 950
    Options
    Hi there @kezmusc ...I get mine from a shop called Vapour Power in Thornleigh Sydney. The online details are  vapourpower.com.au and their phone number is (02) 841115299