Post BC, Depression, Tamoxifin, Letting go & how?
Does anyone suffer Depression after the BC Journey? Do you think it has anything to do with Tamoxifin?
Two years on, just finished my last surgery - nipple reconstruction. One that I almost walk out on, because I had enough of Hospital. Through the journey, my natural instinct was to survive and be here to see my young children grow up. Participate in the forum, believing in the good side of my life situations, but ... after reading Amanda's post from radiation or not ... to her surprises, I just lost faith in "I don't know what anymore" ... after a while I've realised I am suffering from Depression: on light medication.
Curious on thoes who still contribute in this forum, how did you manage to "Let go & move on...", "accepting that other journeys may end, so can mine", especially thoes that had their bc return after finishing Tamoxifin treatment ...
Feeling lost, and husband is having problem understanding while I feel like sense of "belonging" and attracted to read stories from this forum. I feel a sense of belonging, yet my inability to cope when there's sad stories posted. Thought I was strong, thought I was grateful, and a live, yet I am just as scare as my day that I found out about bc.
Life definitely changed, I meet new friends (help me/supported my through bc), and yet thoes old friends I be friend with for years disappeared during bc. I now view them as acquiantances. They seem to see my bc was contagious and stayed away, I no-longer can related to them ... silly or reality?
Is this just a ferris-wheel ride, I am just happen in the "down"? or does Tamoxifin play trick with my body & mind?
need to vent to my bc crowd - ones that share my journey, experiencing new feelings, gratitude, confusion, questioning faith / life, searchng for peace within ..
Trying to focus on NOW, but not a easy task when you are feeling blue
Comments
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Thank you Kathy for sharing your wisdom. Learning to accept things "as is", & living each day with quality. Focusing on the Now, and not the "why me"
Really appreciate you reply. Was lost for a while in the "why me" & "angry" at life's situations that has brougt upon me in the PAst .
NOW: Just celebrated my 13 years wedding anniversary with my boys last night. Reminding myself that I am here and in a good place.
Thx
Amy0