Difficult Emotions
4 years on from lumpectomy, aux clearance and radiation, I have just had an aux dissection op 2 weeks ago, 5 days in hosp as I live on my own in regional area, and had to wait for district nurse place to open up. Drainage removed today by surgeon. I looked in my diary from 4 years ago when my sister had come to the city where I lived to be with me, as well having other friends, just 2 days in hosp and 2 visits from DN. In the hospital this time, I became very teary at the idea of having a shower with the drainage tube in and cried profusely the first time. Nurses assisted so by 3rd time was much better. Today when surgeon removed drainage, it hurt so much (apparently some tissue in the tube) and screamed loudly. The breast care nurse who I asked to come with me was going, "Ssh, ssh." Has anyone else gone through distressing lack of inhibition with emotions?
Comments
-
All of the time! And those drains hurt like hell when they come out.1
-
Yes. It is pretty disorienting when you are used to having a grip on your emotions. I had a shitty day and drove home from town this afternoon howling like a banshee. It doesn't make you feel any better, but it is really hard to stop.
I've found that anaesthetic mucks with my head and I become a bit (more) unhinged after any operation. Like you I live on my own in an area with few services so tend to spend longer in the slammer and have to rely on hospital in the home for post op care. It's no fun. Hopefully now you are free of your creepy little handbag you will start to feel a bit better. This stuff is hard work. Mxx1 -
My emotions were all over the place when I had my surgery etc.... Nothing for me to sit in the carpark at the Hospital in Westmead 3.5hrs drive from home in tears over something that had just happened at appointments. frustration and knowing I have 3.5hrs of driving before I am even in my home town.
xxx hugs1 -
Oh gawd yes! The first time I had chemo, I was fitted with the cold cap and then left on my own in the far bed in a two bed room for the freeze to start.
I have four kids at home, including my niece & nephew whose mum died from BC, as well as a father-in-law who lost his daughter to a brain tumour. I have to keep a brave face on.
It was just over a month since I was diagnosed, I'd had two surgeries, thrown an 18th birthday party and hosted Christmas for 13 at my house two weeks before. I was exhausted, and finally in a quiet and neutral space.
The nurse left the room, I covered my face with my hand and burst into tears. I howled, and howled, and howled. It was loud! After a while I heard a noise and uncovered my eyes to see a little old lady in a hospital gown on a walker at the end of my bed. "Are you all right dear?" "Yes. No." And back to sobbing...
She shuffled off to get the nurse but by that time there was a bit of a crowd at the door and someone else had gone to to get the nurse. She arrived, shut the door on the onlookers, held my hand and told me I was in a safe place and to let it out. I bawled non-stop for an hour!
And that's only one of my sobbing stories Renatha. No use bottling any of it up, screams, tears or otherwise. Only leads to an explosion! K xox1 -
Thank you so much for your comments.
0
