first time user

karinkragh

Hi

I am in my 2nd year after being diagnosed. I have managed very well by working and talking to a network of family and friends.  But this year at 18 mths I am finding that I have days where I am feeling scared and feel that I cannot cope as well.  The Family and friends are lost when I try to talk to them and just tell me to get over it and be happy that I am so well. I am confused and was wondering if there is anyone out there that fell this way as well after going thru a very difficult 12 mths??

Chris

Hi Karinkragh,
I'm not as far through the journey as you are, but I can understand about how you feel. I'm 9 months since diagnosis, and I have had a mastectomy and chemo. I was always very positive and optimistic about evrything, and survived my chemo well, and didn't have any major break downs or depressive thoughts. However, now that it is all behind me, and I only have 5 plus years of Femara ahead of me, I should be happy to be where I am, but I'm finding that I'm starting to have low days now, and it is hard to explain it to those that have seen me go through everything bravely. I feel selfish now with these thoughts, and don't think I can mention them to anyone. My family and friends love to see me looking well and being happy, as it makes them feel that all the
bad times are behind them. Like you, no one wants to
think that we aren't happy now that the treatment is
behind us. Thank goodness for our BCNA sisters, at
least they understand. I did have a nasty cancer scare
3 weeks ago, and that seems to have triggered these
negative thoughts, even though the lump was benign.
The waiting for the core biopsy results was the pits. I'm
sure I will feel better once I have had my prophylactic
mastectomy in 2.5 weeks and begun my reconstruction.
I'm not happy with the the thought of Femara for the
next 5 to 10 years either, especially if these hot flushes don't start to ease. They are so debilitating and after 6 or more years I think I've had enough of them.

Linda_7

Hi Chris and Karin.

Just wanted to say hello, and let you know ,you are not alone. Girls, why wouldn't you have your down times? After all you have been through and are going through!!  Sometimes, "trying to stay positive" is not enough.

For me, well this December, it will be 6 years after diagnosis.  And for some, my experience was straight forward. But for me, my world fell apart. Oh, I kept positive, and kept looking toward the future. I have my faith, and believe me , I was and am  holding on tightly. But I needed more.

For me, a good psychologist helped. Maybe for a short time, but to unload to a professional was helpful for me.And of course, my support group.

I still get mad when someone says to me to be positive!! What do they know?? Have they walked in my shoes?

So, girls, yes, there will be side effects from medications.  And yes, your moods will swing. And yes, we will still be paralyzed by fear. 

But, I for one, want to live, with as much as I am able.  And a future with promise.

So don't  give up,

Love, Linda

Chris

Hi Linda, thanks for your support and understanding. I have never thought of seeing a pyschologist, but maybe thats a good idea. I do belong to a support group, and I hardly ever miss a week. I would be lost without that, and I also belong to an exercise group for women who have had breast cancer. I really enjoy this, and it always ends with a coffee, so it is really social, and I have met some really nice ladies through both these groups. I find these groups wonderful for voicing these fears. Like you, l hate it when I'm told to keep positive or keep my chin up, because no one has ever seen me low or unhappy, other than my husband, so I don't know why people want to remind me of this. I guess they don't know what to say and they think they are helping. At least this cancer journey has taught me what to say and what not to say to someone who is going through a
tough time.

Chris

Hi Linda, thanks for your support and understanding. I have never thought of seeing a pyschologist, but maybe thats a good idea. I do belong to a support group, and I hardly ever miss a week. I would be lost without that, and I also belong to an exercise group for women who have had breast cancer. I really enjoy this, and it always ends with a coffee, so it is really social, and I have met some really nice ladies through both these groups. I find these groups wonderful for voicing these fears. Like you, l hate it when I'm told to keep positive or keep my chin up, because no one has ever seen me low or unhappy, other than my husband, so I don't know why people want to remind me of this. I guess they don't know what to say and they think they are helping. At least this cancer journey has taught me what to say and what not to say to someone who is going through a
tough time.

karinkragh

Hi Chris and Rolly

it is comforting to hear from you.  And like you I am very tired sometimes of hearing stay positive. I was talking to a friend today who is also going thru cancer and she also told me that she has some very dark days. She was also told that Femara can have that side effect.  That does not make it easier.  I am so determined to get on with my life and enjoy it more.  On a positive note I do find that I have a better view on a lot of things and I do not let a lot of people get to me as much as before, the only thing that I need at the moment is someone just to talk to so maybe a professional is a good choice.  I have not joined a support group as I work long days and that does keep me busy, which has been my saviour.  I am proud of us as it is a very difficult journey,

take care

Karin