first time user

Hi Karinkragh, I'm not as far through the journey as you are, but I can understand about how you feel. I'm 9 months since diagnosis, and I have had a mastectomy and chemo. I was always very positive and optimistic about evrything, and survived my chemo well, and didn't have any major break downs or depressive thoughts. However, now that it is all behind me, and I only have 5 plus years of Femara ahead of me, I should be happy to be where I am, but I'm finding that I'm starting to have low days now, and it is hard to explain it to those that have seen me go through everything bravely. I feel selfish now with these thoughts, and don't think I can mention them to anyone. My family and friends love to see me looking well and being happy, as it makes them feel that all the bad times are behind them. Like you, no one wants to think that we aren't happy now that the treatment is behind us. Thank goodness for our BCNA sisters, at least they understand. I did have a nasty cancer scare 3 weeks ago, and that seems to have triggered these negative thoughts, even though the lump was benign. The waiting for the core biopsy results was the pits. I'm sure I will feel better once I have had my prophylactic mastectomy in 2.5 weeks and begun my reconstruction. I'm not happy with the the thought of Femara for the next 5 to 10 years either, especially if these hot flushes don't start to ease. They are so debilitating and after 6 or more years I think I've had enough of them.