I wrote this 2 days before and read out at a farewell party.
Oh to me Tits
You appeared at 9 which was a bit of a shock
I spent a great deal of time trying to hide you in floraly frocks
But by Seventeen
You quite liked to be seen
And I’d dress you up in leather and lace and even velventeen
But trouble you were, given several drinks you see
Who would had thought that you’d like to appear unclad, unhidindered and free
Freedom was fun – wearing bikinis in the sun and tank tops, low tops and cleavage always won.
By 29 your time had come to shine
A baby was born, a hungry baby who claimed they were mine
And eat he did, 2 hourly stints I not kid
And he grew and grew and so did you
By 31 your time wasn’t done
Another baby was born and so was wanted by more than one.
You fed him too
till he was almost two
one would have thought that was all you could do
But that wasn’t to be and by 33
a surprise baby was presented to thee
This baby was hungry indeed and drank and drank until there was nothing of thee
But grow he did and so proud you’d be that your purpose was known and it didn’t matter of the changes you see.
By 35 we said Goodbye to the restraints that held you in place.
Seven years you fed and nurtured but fashion couldn’t keep pace
So Replaced you see
with pretty lace on thee,
although a great deal of support was needed still
For recover you didn’t, shrinking back didn’t happen
but bones and wire enabled a fill
So life went on and even though changes were upon
You remained forefront of anything worn.
Necks became sore, hands sometimes numb and so the fun of cladding sadly no longer won.
But cuddle worth you had, and sensational times weren’t too bad (nudge nudge wink wink)
and help given to the husband for his arthritis.
A prefect fit, warm and soft of it
A stress ball was never needed.
But by 51 you felt your time was done
and you couldn’t keep up with the right pattern
Mistakes were made and changes happened.
But true to your word you didn’t hide that you were tired
and revealed all to ensure you needed to be retired
So your time has come to provide research for some
A memorial will be built for your memory
But we will not forget,
the fun and love and naughtiness yet
And thankyou for being the centre of envy.
