This time Last Year.

Janny54

Hi Lovely Ladies,

I am having a very strange morning, At this exact time last year I was on my way to hospital for a Mastectomy.

The year has flown and I got through the Chemo and Rads with not to much trouble.

This morning I am thinking am I the only one that remembers that it was this day a year ago that my life changed.

Everyone else's life went on as before. But I am reminded everyday that I had BC.

Maybe I am just feeling sorry for meself and I will be better tomorrow.

My first post on here was titled Just had to Write it Down. And I feel the same this morning.

Thanks for being there ladies.

Jan xx

Zoffiel

Hey @Janny54 it is a strange place we find ourselves. 

I'm flat out remembering important stuff now and have, thankfully, lost the plot sufficiently that I'm not plagued by memories of what happened on this or that precise day. At the time you feel like it will be seared onto your brain forever, but no. 

I can tell you I went through the tit lopping thing in December 2006, no idea of the date. I can't remember when I was diagnosed, June? July?. It came back again in 2016. Same thing, August? September? Chemo in December and I think I started rads in early April. Or was it May?

I'm not thankful for much, but I've obviously developed either a selective memory or have dumped that information into a box labelled  '''Do not go there'. I'm also glad no-one else remembers and reminds me. 

Afraser

Hi Janny54

i kept a journal when I was first diagnosed - started it a few weeks after my mastectomy. At first I wrote in it almost every week. Last time I dived in it was over 6 months since I had last done so. It's still of interest to me to read but 5 years on some of it seems as if it was about someone else - I have to remind myself not just about dates but how I felt, what was important. I think overall it was really useful - let me say some things I might not have said to anyone, but it's the subtle things that interest me now - changes in importances, attitudes and yes, fears. Best wishes. 

Sister

@janny54 You're right - it does seem like everyone else's life progresses while you just stay in the bc warp.  But I hope as time goes on that, as zoffiel and afraser say, this changes and we are able to focus on things other than cancer.

primek

It is reflection on what has been lost and it's healthy to do that  and feel a bit sad and acknowledge that.

It can be helpful to list what you gained by getting breast cancer. I know my biggest gain was "not sweating the small stuff" anymore. That relisation also changed my life. X

Afraser

Hear, hear @primek! That's been a major thing for me, along with recognising what is small (wasn't very good at that). I sailed through a work problem this week that would have been a big deal 5 years ago. Bit sad that it takes bc to sort me out, but better late than never!