Running on empty

Deanne

Lately I’ve had a few extra things suddenly all crop up at the same time. A couple of them I have absolutely no control over too. Add to that my 6 monthly check-up with my oncologist was due and I suddenly feel like I’m pushing a wheelbarrow, loaded with bricks, up a mountain and the wheel has come off too!

Before bc I would probably have kept pushing because I’m stubborn and don’t like to ask for help. Well, these days I use that stubbornness in a different way. I’m stubborn about not wearing myself too low and giving cancer any bigger chance of making a return than I possibly can.

My health and well-being are my absolute number one priorities. So this morning I got up extra early. Left my husband and daughter to get themselves sorted and ready for their days and I went for a walk. During that walk I noticed all the good things around me. The other people out walking and exercising in the local park, the veges growing in the community garden, the dogs chasing each other at the dog park and how good my morning cofffee tasted  . 

When I got back home I resisted any urge to take over making breakfast or lunches and instead took time to plan my day. I looked at those extras that have been weighing me down and tackled 2 of them that I COULD do something about and suddenly I’m feeling better about the world again. Co-incidentally the weather even cooperated and finally allowed one of those out of my control extras to make some headway too!

Oh, and I got on just fine at my oncologist appointment too. She reinforced that, in her experience, the healthy lifestyle changes I have made can make a difference. They certainly help keep more fuel in the tank. Hope that everyone else is managing ok today too. xxx

brightspace

Welldone Deanne..great to hear that you made time for yourself..and all is going ok small things do make a diference to the head space ..the power of one! 
All the best Bright

Jane_Elizabeth

Thanks for the post, Deanne. A great reminder to fill up the tank every now and then.

Deanne

Ah, the day just keeps getting better.

After a day in Brisbane I land home and the ant crisis that had been building in our kitchen had reached peak proportions. BUT my wonderful daughter had tackled them for us! The pantry has been cleaned, every even slightly attractive (to ants) item has been locked away in (hopefully ant proof) containers and hopefully we are pushing back the invasion. AND she has still packed almost 70 orders for her business she runs from home! 

Now it’s my turn to make sure she doesn’t run herself empty! 

Sharing the load load is such a wonderful thing. No one should ever feel they have to do EVERYTHING. Let others help and it’s a win, win. My daughter feels so good that she was such a massive help and she knows how much I appreciate that I did not land home to ants everywhere!

Romla

Amazing what can happen when we stop being super women - certainly a lot less stressful for ourselves and others tend to feel empowered by a bit of responsibility.Well done! 

Deanne

You are so right @Romla. My daughter had suffered from extreme (rendered unable to even speak in certain situations) anxiety all her life. But she became my major support when I went through treatment even driving me to appointments. Me taking a step back (or probably more like 100 steps back) gave her a chance to step up. She has gone ahead in leaps and bounds since then and now runs her own successful business.

Hopefully she never tries to be superwoman though. Hopefully she has learned from my experience. She is the leading force in our healthy lifestyle changes and takes time out to look after herself everyday. 

Afraser

When I was diagnosed with peripheral neuropathy, an arrhythmia and lymphoedema in the space of 7 weeks, I was very definitely running on empty. A very productive few weeks with an excellent counselor demonstrated that I had made running on empty a career choice for decades! It can take a bit of a crisis to make one stop, sit back and think more clearly. I made some good decisions about what I should have been delegating at work all along, doing what I needed in my home life not just thinking about it, changed my job when a good opportunity presented itself and have borne in mind all the good practical tools my counselor gave me ever since. How easy it is to give up things that give you pleasure because you "ought" to be doing something else. It took me a long time to really appreciate something I was told a long time ago - do the things you must, then do the things you want - if you have no time left for the things you ought to do, they weren't that important in the first place.

Zoffiel

Well done, Deanne. Delegation is hard work, sometimes just withdrawing is enough. Afraser has hit the nail on the head, again, we need to decide what is important to us, the rest is sometimes someone else's job, if only for a little while. Marg xx

Mollygirl

Well done @Deanne - way to look after yourself!!!! Your daughter sounds lovely and what a lovely bond you both have. Sounds like you are doing all the right things!! Hugs xx

Deanne

Yes @Zoffiel I still find it very difficult to ask anyone for help but I am much better at stepping back and trusting that the world will not stop turning. Usually someone steps up but even if they don’t I know that I need to respect my limits. 

Thank-you @Mollygirl and hugs to you too. xxx

socoda

@Deanne congratulations on your oncologist check up and also on looking after yourself. I reckon it's too easy to get caught up in stressful situations and be swept along with them rather than stepping back and taking time to see if we can minimise the stress levels. Good for you, recognising the beauty in things and situations can change our whole perspective. Big hug lovely, so glad you're okay. Xx Cath

Deanne

@socoda I try! Last night we received some news that undid some of my attempts to not let the stress get out of hand. But I had a reasonable night’s sleep and today I will try again to concentrate on what I can control and keep noticing the good things! xxx