Bad night

SisterSister Adelaide Hills, SAMember Posts: 2,032
I'm just on to get things off my chest (ha! made a funny).  I had the partial mastectomy the Thursday before Christmas.  The surgeon said that the results probably wouldn't come in until the end of last week.  I hadn't heard by Friday afternoon so I rang him and he said they still hadn't come.  So, I've been putting it down to Christmas holidays and things getting held up at the Path Lab.  Still no call as of yesterday.  Last night, I came to the realisation that there's a very strong likelihood that the surgeon is waiting to tell me face-to-face at my followup appointment on Friday which would suggest not so good news - fully mastectomy and possible lymph node involvement.  I guess at least I'll have him cornered then.  I'm trying not to jump at shadows but I only managed a couple of broken hours of sleep last night, even after sleeping tablet.  I'm the sort of person who needs a plan and at the moment, I'm in the dark.  I've hated the recovery from surgery even though I've bounced back better than I thought I would.  I'm not so anxious about losing the breast, after all, it hasn't played nicely - more about losing more lymph nodes, cancer on the move and more surgery.
I gave up lying in bed about 6am and went for a 4km walk to relieve the anxiety which is the longest distance I've managed since the surgery.  
Sorry about the raving but I need the release of telling someone, don't want to make family and friends more anxious as they can't do anything, and the cat isn't always a good listener.
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Comments

  • Brenda5Brenda5 Burrum Heads, QldMember Posts: 1,971
    If its not good news they would have made a theater booking for you probably in the next week or two. Hospital would have it. The GP would have a copy of any pathology or be able to look it up at least. Even your breast care nurse can probably look up your file and see if there is anything to be worried about. 
    Waiting is the worst but at least its only one more night till Friday. <3

  • kezmusckezmusc Member Posts: 519
    HI @Sister.

    Waiting for results is awful and it's hard not to always think the worst.  You don't need to be sorry.  Nobody on hear minds listening.  We have all been lying awake thinking awful things at some stage.
    It probably is just taking longer with all the public holidays.  Do you have a breast care nurse?  If so ask her to chase it up.  I have done this when my next appointment was agonisingly far away from some follow up scans I had done.  Guess what?  She said that no one should have to wait that long, got me the results within 15 mins.  Rang me to say everything was fine and emailed me a copy of the report. 
    XOXO
  • SisterSister Adelaide Hills, SAMember Posts: 2,032
    Thanks.  I've seen breast care nurses when I was in hospital but I don't really feel that I have one as it was just whoever was on duty.  I know my GP will let me know when she has the results but she doesn't work full time.  I really just needed to work the anxiety out with walking and offloading.  Thanks, @kezmusc and @Brenda5
  • SisterSister Adelaide Hills, SAMember Posts: 2,032
    Okay - results back - not good. Tumour bigger than expected and node involvement. Seeing surgeon tomorrow to find out more but do know that I'll be back in surgery early next week. Bugger...shit...bum...fuck!
  • SisterSister Adelaide Hills, SAMember Posts: 2,032
    Sorry for the language, ladies.
  • socodasocoda LeumeahMember Posts: 1,680
    Awwwwww @sister thats crap!!!!! Sending you a big hug lovely. Good luck with your appointment tomorrow. Let us know how you get on. Xx
  • Sunshine0206Sunshine0206 Member Posts: 134
    Hi 

    sometimes her2 status can take a bit more time as well. X
  • SisterSister Adelaide Hills, SAMember Posts: 2,032
    Will do, @socoda
  • primekprimek Broken HillMember Posts: 4,292
    Well I work in a hospital and final reports do not come in until 10 working days. So hopefully the results are there now. It doesn't mean it's worse or not...it just takes time to do all the additional testing they do. They like to be accurate and also have a plan before seeung you also.

    I know there is no way saying don't worry will help. But just take note  that often no news can be good news. When I had my gene testing done and it took much longer than expected I panicked. It was negative. They had retested just to be sure. Such a relief. 

    So my lovely. You already know you have cancer. All sorts suck. But soon you'll have a treatment plan. Let us know how it goes tomorrow. Kath. X
  • ZoffielZoffiel Regional VictoriaMember Posts: 1,935
    Shit, bum fuck indeed @Sister Anything cancer is to be avoided at all costs and having to deal with it when all the grown up medicos go on holidays is the seventh circle of hell.
    Good luck. Marg xx
  • MollygirlMollygirl Brisbane Member Posts: 213
    Agreed buggar, shit, bum, fuck @Sister. I think you are amazing to have worked out a strategy (your walking) to help you cope at a very shitty time indeed. Thinking of you - have you got someone to go with you tomorrow ?  Two sets of ears is good. As is getting your dr to write stuff down for you if you need. Hugs xxoo
  • SoldierCrabSoldierCrab Bathurst NSW Member Posts: 2,378
    @Sister
     never need to apologise here for venting or swearing when it is focused on the Bitch called Breast Cancer and treatments. 
    some positives to focus on are ... Surgery is not being delayed, tomorrow you will see the Surgeon is someone going with you?  
    I will share my tumour was 3 times what they thought it was and I had node involvement ...... I am now 5 yrs out with No evidence of disease I am a survivor....  Breathe we got your back Sister.... 
    Hugs and energy to get thru the next bit of the roller coaster ride.... 
    Soldiercrab 
  • Brenda5Brenda5 Burrum Heads, QldMember Posts: 1,971
    I was livid when I was told I had to go back for a full axillary clearance. I went for a walk until I had let all the angry out. I think it was 5km before I stopped. Then of course I had to walk back home which took a long time since I had only had surgery 10 days before.
  • SisterSister Adelaide Hills, SAMember Posts: 2,032
    @Mollygirl & @SoldierCrab , my husband will be with me - he's got his own issues but has been a rock through this.  I knew from when I had the surgery that it could go either way and I think I was mentally prepared for the breast to go but not for the nodes to be positive.  And it broke my heart to see my kids falter when we got the phone call.  When I was first diagnosed, my 15 yo son said to me that if he seemed like he wasn't concerned it was really that he knew I'd be okay.  Now, of course, he knows that nothing's certain.
    Well, I've had some time to process things - now I have to get my questions in order to ask the surgeon.
    But thank you all for your support.  I'll let you know what happens.

  • AfraserAfraser MelbourneMember Posts: 1,551
    I continue to be grateful I got all the surgery agreed and done in one go. I opted for a full mastectomy (had partial as an option) and we knew at least one lymph node was malignant. 17 went (but only the tested one was malignant - no complaints, a significant number looked very suss!!). Yes, I have some side effects, no they don't wreck my life and I am 5 years so far with no evidence of disease. It's exasperating and exhausting but if you can, concentrate on the main game which is to get cancer out of your life. Best wishes
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