Your emotional and physical health are connected. Your perfectly understandable sense of disbelief may well affect your energy levels, although chemo can do that really effectively all by itself! It's infuriating but you need to (temporarily) abandon your practical, juggling habits and take one day at a time. As others have said, many women experience a cycle - feel OK, then awful, then increasingly better - until the next dose. Knowing your cycle will help - then you can plan for your good (and your bad) days. Is your work adaptable in terms of hours at all? Can you work from home? It's hard on all the family but your young boys now have a wonderful opportunity to develop domestic skills that someone will love then for later in life! Let them help. Ditto friends. Many people have no idea what to say or do. Letting them know that a small thing (a cooked meal, a lift) would be helpful helps them too. As you are at home and sort of upright, you feel you should be doing a lot more, but what if you had a different type of illness and were hospitalised? Every one starting chemo feels that this is how their life will be from now on - but it does actually pass. You are doing something you have never done before, unwillingly and probably fearfully. Of course you don't know how to do it!! But if you can be a mum, a worker and a wife, you sure can learn this one too. It'll be hard, there will be tears, but you will also have (slightly ridiculous) moments of achievement, flashes of insight and (what we all want) a life to look forward to. One step at a time is frustrating, but it's effective. Best wishes.
