I can't believe I've finished chemo!
Hi everyone
Well I had my last chemo on Monday and I can't believe it's done and dusted. 3x FEC and 3x Taxotere. Everything went well - no reaction to taxotere this time, day 3 and feeling the usual side effects - so tired, bloated, tummy pain, leg cramps, not sleeping, waiting for the bone pain to kick in over the next couple of days and the taste buds to go, and the sore hands and nails and so on and so on. I can deal with all that as I know that next week I will be over the worst of it. I'm just finding it hard to get excited about NO MORE CHEMO. I should be yelling it from the rooftops but instead I am full of anxiety and uncertainty. Has it worked? Will my family and friends now expect too much of me? Will they undestand my ups and downs and ongoing fatigue? Where to from here?????????
I think I just need to get over the next couple of weeks and then plan a little celebration with my family. Even though it is not the end of my journey back to good health it is a major achievement and deserves to be celebrated.
I don't need radiation so my next step is reconstruction in October - lots to think about there but that is for another blog.
How strange to have a whinge about finishing chemo. My oncologist and oncology nurses have all told me that these feelings are quite common although I don't think my family and friends get it - but I'm sure some of you lovely ladies know where I am coming from.
Love to you all
Ann-Marie xx
Comments
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Hi Ann- Marie
I know exactly how you feel - i am going for my last chemo tomorrow and thought i would be feeling so happy tonight but I'm not really at all. I can so relate to the feelings and concerne you described!
I had to see the oncologist and radio oncologist yesterday and to be honest it just brought everything up to the fore again. I gues when doing chemo i have been so focussed on getting through that that i sort of put everything else to the back of my mind. Now I have to look at 28 radiotherapy sessions and another 8 herceptin every 3 weeks and then the hormone abs too. Was all a bit confronting. I understand your apprehension about has the chem even done anything etc.
I am still deciding about reconstuction - here in qld its abit of a long waiting list.
Hope that you continue to do well Ann marie - and thanks for your post - made me feel it wasn't too weird that i'm not jumping for joy with having my last chemo tomorrow.
Take care and all the best!!!
Debsxxx
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Hi Julia
I can't speak for Ann Marie but in my case I don't need radiation because I had a mastectomy. I guess that means all the "danger areas" have been removed surgically and so there is nothing left needing radiation.
Rachel
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Hi Julia
Like Rachel I had a mastectomy (nipple and all) so the thought is that there is nothing left to radiate. I know some ladies here still do both even with a mastectomy, I guess there are a few different schools of thought. Other ladies also have chemo before surgery, lumpectomy or mastectomy. Even though we are all in the same 'club' and have so much in common there are so many variables. Nothing is simple and straight forward in this journey is it? So frustrating!!!!!!!
What is the post chemo injection?
I will also be on tamoxifen but as my reconstruction surgery will happen in the next 8 - 10 weeks I won't start tamoxiifen until a couple of weeks after this.
I finally had a reasonable nights sleep last night so am less down in the dumps this morning. What a roller coaster this is.
Love to all
Ann-Marie
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Hi Debs
Thanks for your reply, it always helps to hear from my friends here and know that I am not alone on this emotional rollercoaster. I'm so glad I joined this site as even though I have lots of support from family and friends they don't always get it the way the ladies here do.
Thinking of you today for your last chemo. I'm going to book myself in for a little pampering next week - perhaps a massage or pedicure. You should do something to spoil yourself too. We deserve it!!! Getting through chemo is an achievement and definately worthy of a little spoiling to give us a lift and put that smile back on our faces.
When do you start radiation?
Take care and stay strong.
Love Ann-Marie xx
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So glad the chemo is over for you.It takes a few months to get your strength and your brain back!Enjoy that celebration in a few weeks time.
Tonya xx
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Hi Ann-Marie
The post chemo injection I mentioned was Neulasta which brings the white-cell count up faster to allow chemo to be given every 2 weeks instead of every 3 weeks. This was an injection I gave myself the day after chemo. I found it a bit nerve-wracking although I got much better at it as I went along.
Glad you had a good night's sleep. That makes everything easier to cope with.
Rachel
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Hi again
My radiation wil start on 12 September which works well as it is my youngest daughters 10 birthday the day before!!
I too had a mastectomy and although the nodes were clear , I had 2 lumps, am her2 + and there was a small spot of lymphovascular invasion. I went to 2 different radiooncologists for there opinions and both recommended I do the radiation - so even though i think it is a bit of a grey area - on the advise of the specialists and my oncologist recomended it I am going ahead.
Thanks for your encouragement - this sure is a journey with many twists and turns.!!!
Look after yourself
Love debsx
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Been right behind you all the way Ann-Marie, (I am a bit emotional today - day 4 after my last chemo.) So as I sit here shedding tears of joy for your journey completed - reading of celebrations I am so happy for you.
Enjoy enjoy - you absolutely deserve it.
All the very best.
Maria333
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Hi,
I also had a mastectomy, so am curious.... maybe different doctors do things differently??
Julia
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Hi Amanda
How are you going? I have been thinking about you and sending lots of positive vibes your way.
Seeing plastic surgeon tomorrow and am feeling a little nervous. He will have a date set for my surgery and will go through everything with me. As it gets closer I get more scared about the decisions I have made with regard to my reconstruction but deep down I know I have made the right choice. I will blog about it once I have seen him tomorrow.
Anyway I will be over your way (20th) and be free around 11ish if you are up to a catch up. I know your kids are on holidays and on top of everything else it's always hard to make plans but just ring or text me if you are free at that time and if not we will catch up another time.
Take care & big hugs
Ann-Marie xx
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