Forum Discussion
Trying to get on with my "new life"
Today marks a milestone for me.
A milestone which I'm sure women who have NOT been diagnosed with bc would struggle to understand, in fact, I've mentioned my milestone to a few family members and I get that blank look on their face, while I know in their minds they just want to say "yep, she has really lost it".
Today marks the second week I didnt break down in my self pity, crying, poor me......when the bin man came at 6am like clockwork every Monday morning. Its almost embarrassing for me to write, but every single Monday morning at 6am on the knocker, for the past 3 months since I was diagnosed...well the bin man is my cue to fall in a heap. I think its because my neighborhood is going about its mundane routine activities, the bins get rolled out, the bins get rolled in, the cars start up and neighbours go to work...and Im in bed contemplating my "new life"....wishing I could roll out those bins with not a care in the world, like I did 3 months ago.
So last week I re-opened my little dog grooming business from home, went back to only a few days per week.
Returning to work has been so healing for my mind. Im back in the "real world".
So this morning, at 6am when the bin man came...I didnt break down. Week 2 of not breaking down.!!
Its a start...baby steps.
A milestone which I'm sure women who have NOT been diagnosed with bc would struggle to understand, in fact, I've mentioned my milestone to a few family members and I get that blank look on their face, while I know in their minds they just want to say "yep, she has really lost it".
Today marks the second week I didnt break down in my self pity, crying, poor me......when the bin man came at 6am like clockwork every Monday morning. Its almost embarrassing for me to write, but every single Monday morning at 6am on the knocker, for the past 3 months since I was diagnosed...well the bin man is my cue to fall in a heap. I think its because my neighborhood is going about its mundane routine activities, the bins get rolled out, the bins get rolled in, the cars start up and neighbours go to work...and Im in bed contemplating my "new life"....wishing I could roll out those bins with not a care in the world, like I did 3 months ago.
So last week I re-opened my little dog grooming business from home, went back to only a few days per week.
Returning to work has been so healing for my mind. Im back in the "real world".
So this morning, at 6am when the bin man came...I didnt break down. Week 2 of not breaking down.!!
Its a start...baby steps.
16 Replies
- Well that's awesome, we all know how hard it is to get back to some sort of normal life, not easy. I am struggling as well, we all go through it, I guess we just have to find what makes us happy and start from there.
I wish you all the best, keep up the good work.
Cheers Jen x - PS How amazing it is the first time you have fun or laugh - that's when life turns around and you realise just how lucky you are to be a part of it.
- It's great you found the courage to share this - not everyone will get it but we all do on this blog Life changes when we get the bc diagnosis but it does not end - there' s stuff that we go thru and scary bits when life opens up after the flurry of treatment that dominates our lives for months on end. For me when I hit a downer after radio to see and hear fellow bc ladies out and about enjoying life meant the world because it told me life was not over. The girls are right it's baby steps as your confidence is knocked and trepidation creeps in but it does pick up , we realise we can do a few things , that we stop looking internally and start participating in life again - it's still there we just need to get back out there - life is still good. xo
- @LisaO that is FANTASTIC!!! and makes complete sense!!! I remember that being one of the hardest things watching everyone go about their business and lives....all the while mine stood still encompassed in what was my life for such a long time. I do think once you can get back to some work, or just doing some things like you used to, you suddenly really do feel alive again and back in the world. Slow and steady...xo M
- I totally understand this sentiment. And well done on this achievement. It's not an easy journey. I used to be such a blubbering mess most of the time that I never thought I could go back to work and now I have been back full time for 4 almost 5 months. Work certainly has transformed me from cancer patient back into somewhat of a normal person, although I still have my moments. If any one asks "how are you" with that caring inflection in their voice I still get teary. But overall work has healed part of me.
- Yess...life...you are reclaiming it. Kath x
- I feel we should all get stickers for this kind of thing. Like those "I adulted today" things. "Haven't had a breakdown in 2 weeks" should probably get a ribbon or something though. :star: :heart:
- We get it! Bins represent routine! Your routine has been disrupted but you are coming to terms with creating a new routine!
Funny how the little things are the 'big' things.
I've finally reconciled myself to not being home from my run at 6.30am when the young blokes next door fire up their assorted jalopies and head off to work. I've compromised; now I allow their racket to be my alarm clock and for now I'm lucky if a) I go for a walk at all b) I'm home before they have finished their morning smoko. This is a progression on lying in bed bawling because, well, I'm still lying in bed.
Daily sooking was quite exhausting so it eventually had to stop. Thankfully the hound has also adjusted and no longer sits at the bedroom door sooking too. :)
- Great work! Coming to terms with things is something we all need to work through in our own way and in our own time, and you have recognised your own progress, so good on you. No milestone is too small to celebrate. All the best & here's to the next one xxxooo
