Tomorrow (Wednesday) off to get Whole Body Bone Scan, DEXA and CT Chest abdo and pelvis. So over invasive tests. I'm not brave at all and am beside myself. I wish I could pull my big girl pants on and just get over it, but I feel sick with worry. Its not just the thought of the injections, its also the fact that the tests are looking for possible spread. Any tests these days sends me into deep anxiety which I suppose is part and parcel of the new "normal".Then on Thursday time to pop my first Tamoxifen and sit back and hope side effects will be kind. 2 months of Tamoxifen on its own then Zoladex injections added for a further 2 months then on Zoladex and Aromasin for the long haul. The fear of the unknown.The mind is so powerful and has stopped me in my tracks. I'm hoping that time will help to push the fear of the unknown aside....its so time consuming.I know on the scale of things, my post would seem trivial considering what others are dealing with.

Dear @LisaO, nothing is trivial about bc. I totally sympathize with you on the anxiety. I have a lifelong chronic anxiety disorder that makes life miserable at times. I am not brave either and cried through the biopsies at the start, then when they requested all different scans I was convinced it must be all through me.Six months of chemo and every infusion I sat in that chair waiting for something terrible to happen. Anxiety is exhausting and now chemo done and mastectomy in two weeks time. Anxiety has ramped up big time as I imagine all different scenarios in my head. I'm scared shitless and wish I could run away. I'm already on zoladex and feared that too,but not so bad but tamoxifen to come also after radiation therapy. Big hug Lisa xo

I'm at the stage now where I am willing to take a tranquiliser before I do that stuff. I'm not talking about turning myself into the walking dead, but a wee bit of sedation can do wonders for my ability to cope on days when I'm riddled with Scanxiety. I've still got to deal with the stress before and after the scans, but it stops me climbing the walls on the day. Yep, I'll own being a sook and I know that many people prefer to avoid extra drugs, but being sick with worry and in a head space where I'm likely to savage any poor soul who looks sideways at me doesn't help anyone. Anyway, I'll blame the unit manager at Oncology for starting me on that track--I was losing the plot on day before chemo the first time I was in treatment and she rattled around, called up a young medic and ended up handing me a pill saying 'For God's sake, swallow that before we all go mad.'Now if I know that I'm likely to be turned into a gibbering mess I'll organize a pill beforehand. I've sometimes decided not to take it, but knowing it is there if I start to unravel and can get them to leave me alone for half an hour or so is enough. Horses for courses... Marg xxx

Big huggs Lisa sending positive vibes keep busy al the best bright xo

That is so true primek.....I really try NOT to remember much about the past "journey"....its a real life horror movie starring ME !!! Im sure we all here have unfortunately starred in our own horror movies. :(

Anxiety through the roof | BCNA Online Network

27 Replies

nikkid
Member
8 years ago
@au0rei perhaps you would like to join the Christians Diagnosed with Breast Cancer group http://onlinenetwork.bcna.org.au/group/3-christians-diagnosed-with-breast-cancer
viking1
Member
8 years ago
That sounds hopeful re getting better progressively and not worse! I'm interested that some chemo oncs are changing the doses of the dex as I had the full 5 days. Maybe they will do that for me! I am preparing my list of side effects for my Thursday meeting! xxx
Unicornkisses
Member
8 years ago
Yes, @viking1I had all those side effects for about 10 days after chemo. Thought I was going crazy with the heart thing, though I think it was the Dex caused the strong pounding. I also shook all over constantly for the first week on FEC, Docetaxel didn't have that effect.
The shoulder, jaw and neck pains were weird and seemed to move around.
I found my symptoms got better or less intense with each dose, or perhaps I was managing them a little better.
The only one that didn't get better was the leaden heavy fluid retaining legs on Docetaxol, that built up with each dose. Okay now though, 8 weeks after last dose.

My Oncologist said I could increase the Dex from 3 days to four if I needed to for nausea control as Maxalon did very little. I decided not to though as I didn't like the Dex side effects.
primek
Member
8 years ago
I took dex for 4 days with reducing dose for nausea ...plus stemitil for constant queasiness and room spinning ....plus ondasetron before meals. Lol. It worked. Heartburn...nexium twice daily. Constipation ...movichol. it took trial and error but all good by cycle 4.
melclarity
Member
8 years ago
@viking1 hmmm what you describe sounds more like the Chemo than the Steroids as in side effects and your reaction? just a thought. For me mine got progressively worse, but that's not true for everyone, trick is to communicate with your Team every little thing and they can tweak meds and help make you more comfortable, so overshare LOL. ;)
viking1
Member
8 years ago
Geez you think Maxolon would be okay! Lol I have an unopened bottle in fridge ...was getting bad heartburn in the first week and just chewing what I had avail. Chemist talked me into Maxolon instead. I'm not sure re chemo as the prob as with weird side effects like fluttery heart, stomach pain, heartburn, hiccups!, rash on chest, sore throat, mouth red spots and fur, weak arms, shallow breathing and joint/back pain plus low temps of approx 35-36 - all appeared 5 mins after steroids taken and lasted about 2 hours. Joint pain went on longer. I didn't ask the nurse this but was wondering if I will be feeling fine like I am now after the first nasty week throughout the entire 18 week treatment. Or does the chemo accumulate or whatever and you feel progressively worse before it's over?
Mrs_H1
Member
8 years ago
I was prescribed Dex for the 6 days after the AC infusion due to nausea causing me to not eat and drink and therefore became dehydrated. Had to learn the hard way that drinking water on Chemo is super important. Each time I came off the Dex I was always surprised by how mentally crap I felt. Every other week I was crying and swearing I wasn't doing this sh*t anymore. By the time I was due for the next infusion I started to feel normal again. Certainly no one had warned me about the mood swings due to the drugs for the side effects.
melclarity
Member
8 years ago
@viking1 I tell you what else sent me into shakes and like out of body experience was Maxolon LOL, Head Nurse in Oncology said that was an allergy to it, so I couldn't take it. I think the Steroid would make it worse, but sounds like maybe the chemo itself caused alot of problems?
viking1
Member
8 years ago
Many thanks! I actually looked up the side effects of it and agitation and anxiety are two. Maybe they thought I was kidding when I said I have Very Bad Anxiety prior to treatment!
melclarity
Member
8 years ago
@viking1 Yes I was on 4mg Dexamethasone twice daily, I still have the bottle, it also says on the label as the pharmacist told me not to take them more than 3 days. I didnt have nausea or vomiting from steroids, I did have the anxiety big time though. Everyone is different and so are Oncologists, that's why I asked was curious as to 7 days, hadn't heard of it before. I know when I had FEC I was a good 10 days really crap but then turned the corner for a week before the next infusion. I'd talk to your Oncologist try and work it out. Yes I wanted to be knocked out for 4.5 months!!! its a shocker! x