Getting a second opinion from a different oncologist

LisaO

Due to communication problems I have decided to see a new oncologist.
I have contacted my surgeon who has referred me to another oncologist. My main question is do I have time on my side to wait to see my new oncologist?  I had total right hand mastectomy 1/6, then full axillary clearance 12/6.  I have had two appointments with my first oncologist, with hormone treatment selected by him, but not yet started. Hopefully if I cant get in to my new oncologist for a week or two, it wont make much of a difference, its just most of the information I read states ideally ongoing bc treatment should commence 6 weeks after surgery?
A few things just dont sit right with me.  Firstly last week he asked me if I planned on having any more children...Im 51 and thought as I left...is that really a valid question at my age?  Secondly on my first visit he said Tamoxifen would be my hormone treatment, yet on my second visit he printed off a side effects sheet for me to take home.  When I got home and read this sheet he has given me a side effects printout on Goserelin (zoladex) and Exemestane (Aromasin).  This hormone treatment was not discussed with me at all over the two visits.  
Obviously I will be making an appointment first thing in the morning with my new oncologist, but its 3.30am in the morning and even though Im usually not sleeping very well lately (I wonder why??!!!), this is just one more thing that I really dont need to be on my mind.

socoda

Hi @LisaO,  I personally wouldn't be too worried about another couple of weeks if you've already had your surgery and been given clear margins. As for the questions re further children, it might seem strange to you and me being asked that one at 51, but I'm sure that there are some ladies who do want more children and the oncologist would be remiss of them not to check. As for change of hormone therapy, Tamoxifen is normally premenopausal, and the others are normally post menopausal, but that definitely doesn't mean you shouldn't be told or discuss why you've been put onto that particular drug. Good on you for being proactive and changing. I hope that your new oncologist is brilliant and you really click with them, and also that you get some beautiful full nights sleep. Xx Cath

melclarity

@LisaO I agree with @socoda a few weeks honestly is not going to make any difference. I'm 49 and I've also been asked that at different points lol. I think it's just a generic question to cover all bases to be honest. I was on Tamoxifen for 4yrs and I had a recurrence inspite of that and radiation. Since January 2016 I was put on Arimidex post chemo that time, I didnt cope so well, so am now on Aromasin whilst I feel they are very similar. Im actually coping more than ok and I put that down to time being 20 months post chemo, a damn good Exercise Physiologist and exceptional Naturopath who got my body back into a balance I have never known. I feel great!!

The most important thing in all of it is, you have to have a rapport and confidence in your Oncologist, if it doesnt sit well absolutely change. See how you go with this new one and weigh up the similarities or differences but mostly how you feel with them. You'll be ok until then. Hugs Melinda xo

Zoffiel

Heaps of us have had delays in treatment, for a variety of reasons. A couple of weeks, if it means you have some confidence in your doctor, sounds like a reasonable thing.

I'm glad to hear you are giving the other one the flick if you feel they are not doing the right thing for you. I wish more people would ditch complacent medicos--they are like hairdressers and butchers; replace them if you don't like their service. Sure, there may be the odd specialist out there who has the market cornered, but med oncs are a dime a dozen in the cities.

Tennille

My Onco told me the Zoladex/Aromasin combo is definitely a better option than just Tamoxifen if you are at risk of a recurrence. My question is though is if you had positive lymph nodes why no radiation? Or did I read that wrong?

Jane221

Hi @LisaO, I sought out a second oncologist which meant there was a gap between my mastectomy and axillary clearance and starting chemo of almost 2 months (so about 2-3 week delay), which, as it was a good 5yrs ago now, I guess means it made very little difference in the grand scheme of things. If you feel more confident with another oncologist then I'd definitely not be too concerned as you are going to be working with them for quite a while and need to feel that you have a good partnership. Best wishes, Jane xx

LisaO

Tennille I havnt been offered radiation, maybe because of my full mastectomy and full ax clearance?

Harlee

I, too, was 51 when diagnosed and my oncologist very seriously informed me that I would likely become infertile due to the chemo I was about to start. He mentioned that some women might like to speak to a counselor about how that made them feel! I struggled to keep a straight face and said I was good with that. 
But then another friend who was a few years older than me really struggled with the same information! Apparently she had not noticed that she was 54 and babies were a bit unlikely. Her 3 kids were all in their 20s and she was married to the same guy for over 30 years. I extremely tentatively asked her if they wanted another child and she said No I just don't like being told I can't have one. 
@LisaO - good on you for getting another referral.  A few weeks delay in treatment is nothing compared to years of not understanding or trusting your doctor. 

Tennille

@LisaO  I would question why no radiation. I too had a mastectomy and full clearance with 3/26 positive nodes  so was given radiation since  I had 3 nodes. From what I have heard and read when there are 3 or more nodes involved, radiation is an option even when given a mastectomy.

fairydust

Hi @LisaO sometimes we have a gut instinct of what is right for us. Something about this oncologist does not sit right to you.  I know he made a blunder but if we dont feel confident not happy. I changed surgeons within weeks of my diagnosis. The initial surgeon I had was very well accomplished however we did not gel. 
You may decide after meeting with the second oncologist  the first may be okay after all. 
You are doing the best for you and thats all you can do . Good luck

Afraser

I didn't have radiation (mastectomy, axillary clearance, 17 nodes, but only one positive). Looked like more, very enlarged but just mightily irritated. 

LisaO

Thanks ladies.  I have made an appointment with a new oncologist for next Wednesday.  Im  not questioning his judgement
or treatment plan, its just that I will be with an oncologist for the long haul and communication is vital. My new oncologist may very well advise the same treatment...hopefully as a patient there will be reasons explained to me so I go away understanding rather than Dr Googling things which I feel should have been discussed in the office. Trust is vital through this journey.

Unicornkisses

And now you will have many more questions to ask this new one and a better understanding of what your options are.
You will be able to question them if the answers or information doesn't add up.

I am 57, will go on aromatise inhibitors after radiation. My Onc said they are better for post menapausal women.
He also asked about whether I wanted to go on a trial using an extra drug in combination which is used for metastatic breast cancer.
We haven't discussed it all in depth yet as I still have to go through another surgery and radiation.
so I don't know the name of the second drug.
He said it appears to have a better success rate in high risk women.
????? Does that mean I am high risk????

We will discuss that further after surgery when we get the final pathology back.
I sometimes find my Onc comes out with things that set me in a spin.
I can question him though if I am thinking quickly enough, otherwise it gets brought up at the next visit.
I take in lots of questions and make lots of notes in a book I keep just for that purpose.