Ups and downs

Brach518

I am about to have last cycle of chemo , then I start radiation , I am most of the time very positive 
But
I don't think about dying ,     but   I keep thinking about my funeral , so I'd like a bit of help with those thoughts 

Julie 

socoda

Hi @Brach518, Have you thought of perhaps ringing the Cancer Counsel help line PH: 131120, that is of course if you are trying to stop funeral thoughts, they have their support line and it might help talking to someone about it. On the other hand I personally don't see anything wrong with thinking about planning our own funerals particularly with the range of caskets and ceremonies that can be tailored to our personalities these days. Doesn't mean you're planning on using it tomorrow or next week but realistically they are an expensive last outing that can be planned ahead and I don't see anything morbid about it. Big hugs to you, Julie. You're still sounding pretty positive to me. Xx Cath

Karenhappyquilter

Hi, I agree with Cath, it's quite sensible to think about your funeral from time to time.  While going through treatment we have very little control over our lives so it's nice to plan something.  

However if it worries you, and I guess it must or you wouldn't be raising it hear, counselling is often helpful.  I found I could say what I thought to the counsellor, whereas often with family and friends I felt the need to put on a positive face.  So it was good for me to talk to a professional.  I cried a lot sometimes and when I apologized she laughed and said that she was a cancer counsellor and used to people crying.  Crying can be theureputic I find. 

Best wishes Karen 

fairydust

@Brach518 sometimes it is good to face your worries head on. At least you can visit the topic of your own funeral explore it and then move on. I have discussed my wishes with my family. No I havent fallen of the perch or am about to.
Sometimes I have a wotif discussion . Just clears my head. 
I found the last chemo definitely very challenging emotionally. The nurses warn you there is a build up in your system and you get progressively tired and emotional. Okay not for all but it did affect me. 

Brach518

Thankyou fairy dust , 
Thankyou for talking about the last chemo treatment and emotions , which is also happening to me 

Julie

Brach518

Thankyou Karen 

And Thankyou secoda 

Smileyfrog

Ive got 2 more taxol to go before a lumpectomy and radiation. While my oncologist is positive I will beat this, it doesn't stop me thinking about my own mortality. 
My journey so far has been manageable. Im still working and doing most things as normal. I'm a positive kind of person, but my family get upset when I talk about death. In life, no one can predict what our future holds for us.
I have been thinking a lot about my own funeral recently. I dont intend to go any time soon, but to have my wishes out there has to make life easier for those we leave behind. 

wendy_h67

Sometimes I think it is a good thing to plan your own funeral, at least that way you can have what you want. I felt better when I planned mine and wrote down what I wanted for my family. Once you have done that , you can do the important things , that is get on with living and enjoying yourself.  All the best. 

Brach518

Thankyou smiley frog 
And Thankyou Wendy , for sharing your thoughts 

Zoffiel

Thinking about your funeral....If it's any consolation, I find myself doing that. I've been spending a lot of time in the car lately, 1200 km a week, and realise I'm assessing the songs on the radio for funeral suitability. Oh well, it fills in the time.

Annedipa

@Zoffiel exactly... I picked a number of songs... But actually i did that before i was diagnosed. My sister passed away from secondaries the year before and one of the things she did was plan her funeral beforehand, including the music. Made me start thinking about my own funeral and what i would want. Can't hurt to have an idea, but @Brach518 if its consuming your thoughts its a good idea to talk to someone. Hugs xox Anne

Brach518

Thanks anne

Karenhappyquilter

I have told my family I would like Jesu Man of Hearts Desiring by Bach played at my funeral. This stared long before I got diagnosed with cancer.  I have always loved this music.  It's very peaceful.  It's really helpful knowing what people want for their funeral, even if they don't have cancer.