Healthy Mind & Feeling Good But Why?
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Twiggyjumps
Member Posts: 116 ✭
I've been told all mixed news this week and await further tests. I don't want to find out. Only had a couple of negative biopsies yet I've never felt fitter. I'm strong, Ride my horse nearly every second day, go to work then home to grown family & husband. They are great. But as I sit up late because I can't sleep as to be reminded of what's ahead. I'm angry and developing attitude as never had before. Always happy. Just had a few bourbons with a friend and got off the subject completely. Punched the wall in the specialists washroom once I heard of 4cm tumour from the sentinel biopsy (1 out of 4 removed that was infected with it). Specialist wants to remove all my lymph nodes. All I can think of is lympodema. Talking about chemo and radiation first for 6 months then see before any surgery. My left ovary, don't even know if it is, seems a dull pain. But been off and on for over a year. Could be stress. Pet scan tomorrow. Don't want to know. But friends say then you'll have a clear plan to sort it all out for good. I feel like 'Red man going down'.
Need inspiration!
Need inspiration!
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Comments
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Oh @Twiggyjumps what a total sh*t diagnosis is.... always more to cope with.... You are stronger than you realise... getting off the subject is good... we need to refocus and regroup as we ride this blo*dy roller coaster..I have one friend who I can laugh with, she doesn't ask questions about where we are up etc but allows me to be where I emotionally need to be...sometimes that means laughing sometimes crying she will send me emails about life sometimes serious sometimes not she has been a lifeline through the ride.... helping me to be grounded and normal....
I have lymhodema I dont allow it to control my life.....
Tests.....it is some times overwhelming so we dont want to know but when we are calm we do want to know as then we have the power to choose. Breathe out the stress and breathe in peace....
It is good to acknowledge the stressors the anger, the fears, the lack of control we all feel at times.. be gentle on yourself you are able to stand tall to face the truth and fight like a girl... Because you are strong
Hugs and serenity
Soldier crab ❤0 -
Omg thank you. It's going to be another l o n g night. Anyway I can't change it. Just got to move forward. Xx0
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@Twiggyjumps how did you relax normally before breast cancer?
A bath with some lavender? Few drinks, a movie? Try a relaxation cd, white noise app for phone..... writing whats rolling around in your head... sometimes writing allows us to get the thoughts out of our heads.....
Xxx0 -
Yes that's a good thought. Sitting up reading mainly or doing community work on the computer. Everyone's asleep and I wait until I'm exhausted. I've done that for many years. So maybe I need to get back to helping with the club stuff to take my mind off it.
How about you? What are your strategies?
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I have a few relaxation cds I have put them onto my ipod
Bath with epsom salts 3 drops of lavender
White noise app helps me drift off into slumberland...
What kind of community work ? I used to work in disabilities.....?
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Petrea king relaxation
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Horse riding associations and involvement in local community festival. Lots of hours up late. But good engaging community in fundraising and participation in sport. 1
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So how old are your children? Mine are 34g,30b,22b,19g my boys have autism0
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Wow big family there. I have 22b and 18g. He's a chippy and my girl wants to be a theatre nurse. She has just started vcal yr 12 nursing and enjoying it so far.0
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My biggest saying for the week is,
"It's not the situation, it's how I'm handling it!"1 -
I also have 6 grandchildren from my eldest0
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When we let go and go with the flow, swimming in the murky waters becomes easier as we arent trying to swim against the flow...0
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Anne how can you use the anger in a positive way?0
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I scrubbed the house top to bottom while I waited for surgery cooked up a storm and froze meals etc gave my garden a thorough going over ready for summer....2
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You need a little faith Twiggy, they aren't called specialists for nothing. You will have a whole team of them figuring out the best outcome for you. If it takes a little longer for you and they to agree, fair enough. Do you have a breast care nurse yet? She can be a good sounding board for you too.
Don't worry around things down the track which might or might not even happen like lymphedema. I had the exact same pain in the left ovary pre cancer but scans and ultrasound didn't pick up anything and after chemo for the breast the lower pain seems to have gone. Stuff like that is always in the back of any woman's mind but you just need to settle and worry about it when and if it ever happens.
Jealous you get to do horse riding. I used to love it but gave it all away when I had my family. Enjoy.
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