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Oh my Hat...or scarf, turban, beanie or bandanna!

AllyJayAllyJay Member Posts: 629
edited January 2017 in Day to day
I was diagnosed August last year with Stage 3 Her 2 bc. Was told I'd have the delights of 12 weeks of AC chemo, followed by 12 weeks of Paclitaxel and Herceptin. Then the hedge trimmer would come out, and snip snip..toodle doo to both my boobs. Oh...then another 9 months or Herceptin followed, by, you guessed it, Estrogen blockers. Fun Fun Fun!!!. I'd had long hair since my early teens (I'm 58 now). When I got married, (37 years ago), I had hair down to my bottom. When I had my kids (32 and 35 years ago), my long hair landed in more than one nappy. It's been shut in car doors too. People used to ask me if my husband liked my hair long...I said he did...it tickled his fancy (and sometimes more than his fancy, but I digress). I used to joke that people knew me as Dave's wife, Kate and Jesse's mother, or The Lady With The Long Hair. I said that if I divorced my husband, killed my kids, or cut my hair, nobody would know who I was. The rather long point being, my hair was a huge part of my life and my identity. It was my history. The only cells in your body which are more than seven years old, are your hair and your nails, (if you're one of those weirdos with long curled up snail nails). Within my plait was my marriage, my babies, toddlers and children. My firstborn, lost to forced adoption 40 years ago, my late brother's death, my old life in South Africa, and my arrival in my new home of Australia. My very active skydiving years...(yeee haaa!!!), and my subsequent more sedate years. From the top to the bottom, all these memories were woven in with my hair. So when I was told that the hair would go, I decided that I would take my hair, not the cancer. I would take it and keep it, the cancer could have the stubble. I couldn't bear to have long hair on my pillow, tangled in my brush or clogging the drains. A slow but inevitable loss of an intrinsic part of my whole adult life. It became a family event. My daughter and daughter in law brushed and plaited my hair one last time. My husband cut it off as close to my scalp as he could get it, my son shaved me to a Number 1 Marine Cut, whilst my grandson cheered us on from his highchair. I felt so empowered. I was now in Warrior Mode. Bring it on!!! Bring the whole lot on. I was ready...my past life was just that, past. The present was now here...and I was fighting. The future? Well who knows the future???


  • melclaritymelclarity Member Posts: 3,415
    Allyjay I have one word for you AWESOME!!!! I loved how you described your life with your hair, so reflective and with such wonderful sentiment...but then you kick into Warrior Mode. As nothing can take those memories from you, even with your hair gone. You brought yourself into the now...I love it!!! It is all we have isn't it?? yet all of these things are so difficult to let go of. I love your positivity and enthusiasm and wish you the best of everything as you begin your journey. Not a journey you signed up for like all of us, but one you will absolutely get through! Hugs Melinda xo
  • primekprimek Broken HillMember Posts: 5,347
    Beautifully written. And yes...the decision to take your own hair not let the chemo destroy it bit by bit is empowering. Mine wasn't long like yours but I made the same decision. We are strong. We are warriors. And yes...you got this girl. Kath x
  • Michelle_WMichelle_W Member Posts: 54
    Hi Ally Jay, you are amazing! Beautifully written
  • MimaMima Member Posts: 38
    Well done @Ally Jay glad you will get to keep your hair all in one piece not lose it bit by bit. Wishing the "warrior " all the best for this next stage
  • RNSWRNSW Central Coast NSW Member Posts: 121
    Hi @Ally Jay,
    My hair wasn't as long as yours but I cut my gradually before chemo then first week of chemo off it went. I wore fedoras while I had no hair or short hair. A year after chemo finished my hair is curly and thick. You are very brave!
    Hugs Rita xo
  • KarenhappyquilterKarenhappyquilter Member Posts: 236
    Yes I agree you are brave.  You may also be pleasantly surprised how delightfully easy no hair is. I too feel I am a warrior woman.  Best if luck with your treatment.  Karen 
  • JanineGJanineG Melbourne (west)Member Posts: 136
    Ally jay thankyou for sharing your beautiful history. The love your husband and children are showing you can only add to your fabulous warrior strength. It's a gift of courage you are showing them that will help them too. x JanineG 
  • CatNevCatNev Member Posts: 11
    Hi Jay

    I have just removed my hair last week, under my terms! before it started falling out.  I had reasonably short hair but was still an adjustment.  And yes my gorgeous daughter said whenever you are ready Mum I will come down to give you a Marine Cut, which she did.  She wanted to shave her head as well, but we talked her out of it cos of where she works, and she has a lot of tats so would be a bit weird.   We turned it into a good fun experience (one I had  wanted to try for the Leukaemia foundation but hubby didnt agree)  Not the way I wanted to lose my hair by getting BC.  At least no more washing, brushing etc.  Hubby now loves it, turned out it looks exactly like yours (colour wise) hehe   And yes we are all fighting Warriors.  Best of luck xxxx
  • AllyJayAllyJay Member Posts: 629
    Thanks for the comments so far, Fellow Warriors. Here's me with my complete Chrome Dome shortly after Christmas, swapping Secret Granny Breath with my grandson.
  • Jane_ElizabethJane_Elizabeth Member Posts: 156

    Now you will be known for who you are...a fighter

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