Settling back into "Normality"
Just a quick reflection on how I am feeling at the moment. It is 18 months since my diagnosis and the rollercoaster began and now nearly 6 months since my last surgery. Saw Melissa my specialist 2 weeks ago and dont need to see her until early Feb (which i then may choose to "fix" my left "boob" which is a little dicky due to scar tissue).
During the 12 months, I had 6 lots of surgery, saw Melissa 34 times, and now I am happy to say, back healthy and relatively fit.
Upon reflection, on top of my BC I have been dealing with a mountain of other stress piled on top! My daughter has had depression which i have been helping her stay on track, i have been fighting our bank to keep them from selling our farms (my BC, my husband with arthritis and a bad season all rolled in together put us well and truly on back foot), trying to keep my husband on track with all the farm "crap", then to top it all off, having to fight my insurance company with regard to my income insurance. No wonder the year has disappeared and really kept me occupied!!
I feel like the planets are beginning to align - we have just sold one of our farms which will take the pressure off immensely - still with large debt, but fingers crossed more manageable.
Chloe has moved in with a girlfriend in Adelaide and is much happier, focussed and looking for a job; Josh has just got a part time job in addition to university which he is thoroughly enjoying and is now able to pay his own way - giving him much more self confidence.
BUT that leaves me treading water and in many ways not knowing what I am supposed to now be doing and where I fit in the world!
I am sure that it is certainly a feeling that everyone that has been on the BC journey finds themselves when they finally finish treatment and try to gain a sense of what normality is in their new world.
In one way is a chance to reassess what is important but in another is such a chunk out of your life, it sometimes seems to sap your confidence.
Anyway I am sure i am not the only one that has this feeling and will work through it with the help of everyone around me.
So after that blurb, I am off to cook dinner!!
Have a great day - remember the sun still shines even on the cloudiest of days!
Bye
Leanne