The most important thing about making choices at any stage of dealing with bc is to have all the information to make the right decision for YOU. NEVER should any of us feel a need to defend or explain our choices to others. Gosh isn't it enough that none of our choices are ones that anyone REALLY wants to have to make. We all have every right to make whatever choice we feel is best for us based on the best medical advice. We have the right to do whatever we feel will give us the happiest, healthiest life in the future. The medical profession should be empowering us in these decisions by giving everyone ALL the information available but ultimately respecting that we are individuals with personal reasons for making our choices. Sharing information on here can also help to educate us about all the choices that we should be aware of. It is okay to make a different decision from someone else and you don't need to defend it to anyone. All that matters is that we are respectful of everyone's feelings and everyone's right to feel okay with their choices. If you do want to share your reasons for making choices be mindful of how your words may sound to someone who has made a different choice. Be supportive and caring. We all know how hard any of these decisions are. I hope that the choices you make lead to the best outcome and the happiest life for you. Deanne xxx

As always, wise and wonderful words Deanne xx

Hi Deanne how true. It is interesting how people can make you feel like you have made the wrong decision. I was really surprised I had to explain to some why I went private for my treatment. At times I was made to feel guilty, how dumb is that. Everyones situation is different If I hadn't paid private health insurance all these years my decision would have been different. I think some thought I was making out I was better than them and that wasn't the case. BC is bad enough without all the opinions of others. I have no regrets about my choices but yes it can become difficult

Hi I am learning really fast everyone is an expert and knows best [not here]. I have decided to get a mastectomy over lump removed and 6 weeks radiation. It was my first choice and all my family support and want this too. I know my friends are trying to be helpful but I am getting sick of explaining my choice, joy its not all of them. The doctors have been great and they have made no comment or attempted to get me to re think my decision. Now I just tell them its what I think is best for me and as much as I would not wish this on them if they were ever in this situation I would support what they wanted even if its not what I would have done. But it still makes you second guess yourself in the early hours of the morning. Just want it off and to move on. Cheryl

Hi Rowdy, Glad that you were happy with your treatment and choices. That's the important bit ??. Deanne xxx

Hi Cheryl, It's such a personal decision but I'm glad that you went with your gut feeling. That first response (as long as you have all the info from your doctors) is usually the right one for you. So good that you feel supported by your family and your doctors. I wonder why so many people think they know enough about bc to give advice about treatment choices? I think you are wise to be handling it by saying you know what is best for you. After all you are the only person who has all the information to make that decision. Best wishes for your surgery. xxx

Choices | BCNA Online Network

12 Replies

Marlee
Member
10 years ago
So so true,

in fact I'm going to stop explaining my choices from now !!
Deanne
Member
10 years ago
Exactly!! xxx
InkPetal
Member
10 years ago
RELEVANT
InkPetal
Member
10 years ago
Honestly I'm struggling with this- from everyone up the chain of practitioners through friends.

I'm a lucky case - or I consider myself lucky. I could "get away with opting out of chemo".

It's recommended by most of my constantly changing team, but it still "will have about a 2% benefit" for me, which makes the decision harder.

Because while it's only 2%, it's a whole 2%, but it's also about the same amount of chance the chemo will give anyone leukemia, plus the months of hell just to hopefully catch anything my clear lymph tests didn't tell us about.

I don't know what to do, but everyone around me seems to know what's best for me and have a definite opinion. "If it were me" at every turn, but shock factor it isn't them and I know for a fact they have no idea what they'd actually do until it was.

I mean... I just... Is there a medicinal vile of "shut up" you can administer to people... Hahaha.

Thanks for your post Deanne.
InkPetal
Member
10 years ago
... or is it "Hear hear!" ... that would make more sense really.
InkPetal
Member
10 years ago
HERE HERE.
Ann-Marie
Member
10 years ago
Thank you for a great post Deanne x
Deanne
Member
10 years ago
Hi Cheryl,

It's such a personal decision but I'm glad that you went with your gut feeling. That first response (as long as you have all the info from your doctors) is usually the right one for you.

So good that you feel supported by your family and your doctors.

I wonder why so many people think they know enough about bc to give advice about treatment choices? I think you are wise to be handling it by saying you know what is best for you. After all you are the only person who has all the information to make that decision.

Best wishes for your surgery. xxx
Deanne
Member
10 years ago
Hi Rowdy,

Glad that you were happy with your treatment and choices. That's the important bit ??. Deanne xxx
Cahu
Member
10 years ago
Hi

I am learning really fast everyone is an expert and knows best [not here]. I have decided to get a mastectomy over lump removed and 6 weeks radiation. It was my first choice and all my family support and want this too. I know my friends are trying to be helpful but I am getting sick of explaining my choice, joy its not all of them. The doctors have been great and they have made no comment or attempted to get me to re think my decision. Now I just tell them its what I think is best for me and as much as I would not wish this on them if they were ever in this situation I would support what they wanted even if its not what I would have done. But it still makes you second guess yourself in the early hours of the morning. Just want it off and to move on.

Cheryl