You do get through this
Hi everyone,
When I was first diagnosed I was shocked and terrified, like most of you. Unfortunately it seemed that the news just kept getting worse. It was bigger than the mammogram showed, it had spread to my lymph nodes. Even though I had had a mastectomy I would still need radiotherapy after Chemo. My mind kind of shut down with shock and in this way I guess I protected myself and just coped with what I had to do each day.
Step by step I got through treatment thanks so very much to the wonderful friends I found on here. I had terrific support from my husband and daughters but really, only someone else who is actually going through this (or has been through this) can fully understand your feelings and needs at this time.
One thing that made my experience more scarey was the lack of good news stories about long term life after treatment. Where were all the survivors living a healthy cancer free life after treatment? Of course as I too left active treatment behind me (I am on hormone therapy, Tamoxifen at first, Femara since I had my ovaries removed last year), I realised that they were probably leading busy lives once more. But I became determined to pop back in and let people know that you do get through this and life can be good again.
So here I am nearly 3 years out from a Stage 3 diagnosis, just over 2 years from the end of active treatment and life is pretty good. I did wonder for a while if I would ever feel like I was normal or safe (from recurrence) again. Somewhere along the line (it is gradual rather than a single moment) I have regained my confidence to make plans and not let the fear of recurrence rob me of a happy now.
I know that life can change in the blink of an eye but I also know that,even when things get really tough, I can get through it. I have learnt to ask for help, to not take on too much, and that tasks are doable if you just take them one step at a time. I also learnt that when the going gets really tough there are some pretty amazing people out there who WILL help. I experienced so much kindness during treatment, much of it from complete strangers. I guess that gives me reassurance now, that even when bad things happen, there are good people willing to help you.
Look at this site. When someone reaches out there are lovely women (many going through the biggest challenges themselves right now) just ready to lift you over the hurdles that breast cancer keeps putting in front of us.
You will get through this and the more you reach out to each other the easier it is. Sending gentle hugs to everyone, no matter where you are on this roller coaster at the moment. Deanne xxx
Comments
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Thanks Deanne,
appreciate you popping back to write this-I am in a similar situation now to what you went through in staging etc.I have had surgery and finished 6 months if chemo,just about to do radiation and will have a mastectomy given the multi focal nature.It is such a scary ride and not knowing what the outcome will be-you just do everything that you can.Love hearing good news stories and that you can start to heal.
xx
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So glad to see you back, Deanne!
You are right about the wonderful friends that we make on this site - I don't think I would have coped without their support. One step at a time was definitely the answer to getting through treatment, not looking too far ahead and just putting one foot in front of the other.
You are a shining example of keeping good health afterwards. The keys are exercise and healthy foods and just being aware of your choices. I like the 80% rule - I am good most of the time!
It is now almost 4 years since I was diagnosed and had the works for TNBC, and I feel very fit and healthy again. The women who have just been diagnosed and are still in shock and scared witless, need to read stories that lift them up, and to know that there are plenty of us out there who have come through and returned to normal life (or new normal life.)
There is always support here. And it is so lovely to see you back! Big hugs xx Michelle
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It is a scarey ride and it is so hard to accept that you then just have to hope that it stays gone. Other people often don't understand that aspect.
Things that have helped me to cope with that are living a healthy lifestyle and meeting some other people who have had serious health issues (cancer and other problems) and found ways to live an amazing life almost BECAUSE they now know how precious life is.
Wishing you all the best for the rest of your treatment and soon you will be in that healing stage too! I love that word - healing - as it suggests a gentle, caring time. You do need to be patient and gentle with yourself. xxx
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Hi Michelle,
Now you were a wonderful inspiration and support to me. It was great to have some people like you (and there were and still are quite a few ladies on here) who were a year or two ahead and even a few who have had more than one diagnosis to shine a light down the tunnel for us. I think there are even a couple who are 10 years or more down the track. That was so helpful to me in those early days that I wanted to hopefully provide some reassurance to ladies going through things right now.
So important to know that most people do get through this and live good, healthy, long lives. The Internet can be a scarey place, but sites like BCNA are safe reliable sources of information and support.
Glad to hear that you are feeling fit and healthy too, Michelle. Thank-you for always being there. Big hugs to you too. Deanne xxx
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Great news Deanne and thanks for sharing your good news story.
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Deanne,Your story is so similar to diagnosis and my treatment plans, except i am having my mastectomy after chemo as I plan to have a reconstruction.
As a giver not a taker I am struggling with accepting help..I am the one usually rushing around and offering support! But I am finding I feel "safe", if that makes sense. So much support and resources offered.
Although it may feel like you will never get of this ride, I'm hoping it slows down enough for you and all of us to take in the view, the little pleasures of life that we so often miss.....
Some of us are strangers, some are friends, but together we can support and listen to each other because yes only one who has traveled in your shoes knows what it's really like....
love and light for easy recovery and beautiful days....
-Tracy
stay strong|breathe|believe
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Always nice to see us survivors who seem like we've been around for ages. Lol nice story deanne
love and hugs adean xx
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Inspirational Deanne, thanks. xxx
My sis in law had a bad one with mastectomy, lymph nodes all removed, chemo and radiation which burned part of her lung. She did recover. Still has the other breast. Still does running marathons albeit in her older age group now. That was 16yrs ago and still going strong. Only thing to watch is when grandkids come to stay, she still ends up with the odd cold or flu or tubby bug which takes weeks to get over but she wouldn't give up the grandkids holiday visits for the world.
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Hi Tracy,
I think a lot of us are used to being the giver not the taker and that is often very, very difficult to accept. But I found my family actually really needed me to let them help. It was their way of feeling like they could have some helpful role or control over the situation. Mind you some family and friends just kind of abandoned ship too but I came to accept that there were usually reasons for this (these reasons had absolutely nothing to do with me and everything to do with their own fears).
My eldest daughter (20 at the time) really stepped up to the plate and I can see now that this helped her to deal with the situation in a positive way.
I think you will find that the ride does slow down and you do get to enjoy the simple things. I'll never forget how wonderful food tasted when I got my taste buds back after chemo!!
Wishing you well for your treatment and recovery. Take it gently. Deanne xxx
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love and hugs to you to Adean.
xxx
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That is great to hear about your Sister-in-law, Brenda. I have met quite a few ladies with inspirational stories of long-term survival since my diagnosis. A couple with 20+ years, some with more than one diagnosis and yet all feeling great now and getting the most out of life. That is my goal each day really, to have the best day possible. So important to notice the good things that are all around us!
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xxx Thanks Meggsie.0
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Thanks Deanne.
It was very kind of you to think about all the booby newbies and remind us there is life after active treatment, and it can be great. I note your comments to Michelle and how much she helped you. Thanks for doing the same.
Nice to be able to look to the future beyond this period - I'd just like to pick up the pace a bit and start running in that direction. Walking will have to do for now.
Best wishes
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Hi Deanne,
Thanks for your wonderful & uplifting post. Your words are inspiring me to stay positive as I start radiation treatment.
Orchid x
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I just saw your post Deanne,and what an important subject.My husband often makes comments along the lines of ' you never hear of the ones who survive' and of course we all know there are lots of us!!!I am 2 years out now,and I feel bloody fantastic! You have always been one of my 'best ' friends on this network .You are so supportive,and everything you write just seems to make sense!! I hope you stay around now Deanne:) By the way,I am now a grandmother to an absolutely gorgeous baby boy named Riley.I am going to Melbourne on Monday to meet him.Can hardly wait!!!Cheers Robyn xox
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