Forum Discussion
You do get through this
Hi everyone,
When I was first diagnosed I was shocked and terrified, like most of you. Unfortunately it seemed that the news just kept getting worse. It was bigger than the mammogram showed, it had spread to my lymph nodes. Even though I had had a mastectomy I would still need radiotherapy after Chemo. My mind kind of shut down with shock and in this way I guess I protected myself and just coped with what I had to do each day.
Step by step I got through treatment thanks so very much to the wonderful friends I found on here. I had terrific support from my husband and daughters but really, only someone else who is actually going through this (or has been through this) can fully understand your feelings and needs at this time.
One thing that made my experience more scarey was the lack of good news stories about long term life after treatment. Where were all the survivors living a healthy cancer free life after treatment? Of course as I too left active treatment behind me (I am on hormone therapy, Tamoxifen at first, Femara since I had my ovaries removed last year), I realised that they were probably leading busy lives once more. But I became determined to pop back in and let people know that you do get through this and life can be good again.
So here I am nearly 3 years out from a Stage 3 diagnosis, just over 2 years from the end of active treatment and life is pretty good. I did wonder for a while if I would ever feel like I was normal or safe (from recurrence) again. Somewhere along the line (it is gradual rather than a single moment) I have regained my confidence to make plans and not let the fear of recurrence rob me of a happy now.
I know that life can change in the blink of an eye but I also know that,even when things get really tough, I can get through it. I have learnt to ask for help, to not take on too much, and that tasks are doable if you just take them one step at a time. I also learnt that when the going gets really tough there are some pretty amazing people out there who WILL help. I experienced so much kindness during treatment, much of it from complete strangers. I guess that gives me reassurance now, that even when bad things happen, there are good people willing to help you.
Look at this site. When someone reaches out there are lovely women (many going through the biggest challenges themselves right now) just ready to lift you over the hurdles that breast cancer keeps putting in front of us.
You will get through this and the more you reach out to each other the easier it is. Sending gentle hugs to everyone, no matter where you are on this roller coaster at the moment. Deanne xxx
18 Replies
Booby newbies, that's clever! Yes I hope that you are soon enjoying your beyond bc future too! Every day is a day closer to feeling better again. Wishing you all the best too. Deanne xxx
I'm so glad that I posted this then Orchid. I hope you find that radiation goes really quickly. With daily visits you get to really know everyone and I actually enjoyed the social side of that part of treatment! :) Deanne xxx
Oh Robyn,congratulations on becoming a Grandmother! How exciting for you. I have been wondering if there was any news yet. So happy for you!
Yes I also feel like you are one of my best friends even though we have never met face to face. Sharing our experiences on here, it's amazing how really close you can feel and what a BIG difference it can make to how you cope. You have helped so many people on here with your supportive comments and it is so good that you feel terrific too! Life can be better than ever after treatment. There are lots of us can vouch for that!!
Enjoy your time with Riley next week! Another wonderful stage of life is beginning for you. :))) Deanne xxxxoooo Sending lots of hugs for you and Riley.
I just saw your post Deanne,and what an important subject.My husband often makes comments along the lines of ' you never hear of the ones who survive' and of course we all know there are lots of us!!!I am 2 years out now,and I feel bloody fantastic! You have always been one of my 'best ' friends on this network .You are so supportive,and everything you write just seems to make sense!! I hope you stay around now Deanne:) By the way,I am now a grandmother to an absolutely gorgeous baby boy named Riley.I am going to Melbourne on Monday to meet him.Can hardly wait!!!Cheers Robyn xox
Hi Deanne,
Thanks for your wonderful & uplifting post. Your words are inspiring me to stay positive as I start radiation treatment.
Orchid x
Thanks Deanne.
It was very kind of you to think about all the booby newbies and remind us there is life after active treatment, and it can be great. I note your comments to Michelle and how much she helped you. Thanks for doing the same.
Nice to be able to look to the future beyond this period - I'd just like to pick up the pace a bit and start running in that direction. Walking will have to do for now.
Best wishes :)
:) xxx Thanks Meggsie.
That is great to hear about your Sister-in-law, Brenda. I have met quite a few ladies with inspirational stories of long-term survival since my diagnosis. A couple with 20+ years, some with more than one diagnosis and yet all feeling great now and getting the most out of life. That is my goal each day really, to have the best day possible. So important to notice the good things that are all around us! :) xxx
love and hugs to you to Adean.
xxx
Hi Tracy,
I think a lot of us are used to being the giver not the taker and that is often very, very difficult to accept. But I found my family actually really needed me to let them help. It was their way of feeling like they could have some helpful role or control over the situation. Mind you some family and friends just kind of abandoned ship too but I came to accept that there were usually reasons for this (these reasons had absolutely nothing to do with me and everything to do with their own fears).
My eldest daughter (20 at the time) really stepped up to the plate and I can see now that this helped her to deal with the situation in a positive way.
I think you will find that the ride does slow down and you do get to enjoy the simple things. I'll never forget how wonderful food tasted when I got my taste buds back after chemo!!
Wishing you well for your treatment and recovery. Take it gently. Deanne xxx
