First Mammogram after treatment
Well today I finally went in for my first lot of tests after the end of treatment for stage 2 triple negative bc. It took me 9 days from the referral to actually make the appointment, I was so scared of going through these tests. Finally I talked myself into it- what will be will be, it's better to know than not know, etc etc.
When I got to the hospital radiology dept I felt sick and had visions of not going in the door. I had the overwhelming urge to cry. All of this has astonished me, I am usually calm and collected. All the bad memories came flooding back, the mammo, then the repeat mammo, then the ultra sound and finally the dreaded words from a not terribly warm radiographer, 'madam you have a suspicious lump'... I was alone at that appointment. This time I brought my husband. Again I had a mammo, then I waited...imagining the worst, thinking what I would tell my family, imagining having to tell my new employer that I had to leave. I even decided that this time around I would have cold cap in an attempt to save my hair.
I was then sent for ultrasound on my remaining breast and mastectomy scar and both underarms to check the nodes. The woman smiled at me, said it looks all fine. Within minutes this was confirmed by the radiographer ...all clear!! I almost could not believe it. I feel like I can finally breathe again...does this ever get any easier??
Lisa
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NIce one Lisa!
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Fantastic news!
I believe it will get easier. My friend and I (me BC, she melanoma) were just talking about what we've named 'scanxiety' today. We think - and know from family members who've been through this long-term - that each one gets easier, as we look back and see more and more tests giving us the all clear.
You are well!!
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Hi alisa
i know exactly what you mean. I had mine first mammo after treatment and the nervous feeling didn't settle until I saw my surgeon saying all look really good. Phew!
Next appointment 1 year from now unless i have to see him earlier. I hope not.
Cheers
Rosemary
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I am due for my mamaogram after a masectomy and dieflap surgery feeling a bit weepy also as it is just over a year. I had tests to see if Chemo or radiation would be of any benefit to me and it only came back with a small percentage so didnt have it but it is all ways in the back of your mind tho. Unfortunatly didnt have support of a breast care nurse and i am sorry now i didnt go to a support group as i feel very isolated and nobody understand when you look ok.
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Hi Lisa
i had my first mammogram after finishing treatment about 3 months ago. I was so anxious that I burst into tears in the waiting room. I felt like a fool but couldn't help it. There was a hospital volunteer there and she came and talked to me. She was a bc survivor and knew exactly what I was going through. To add insult to injury, they found a mass and I had to have further tests. It ended up being ok in the end but I was a complete basket case. I sincerely hope it does get easier but I must be honest, at the moment, I can't. Imagine that happening. I'm so pleased for you that all is fine. Yes breathe. Do something nice for yourself to celebrate. Take care. Karen xox
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I no what you mean Karen that will be me soon xx
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Hi everyone
thanks for your messages, I knew others would understand the stress of tests after treatment. I think it must be a form of post traumatic stress and it is very real. I hope all goes well for those about to have their follow up checks.
Lisaxx
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