life
Today is Melbourne cup I went to work and logged on and burst into tears. My workload was so heavy I didn't know how I was gong to get through it all. The last few days have been terrible, really flat I feel like a sook. People look at me and think I'm well, my body is healing but my emotions and anxiety are not getting better. I have a husband who continually asks me if I'm ok and sits on the couch and waits for me to organise his day.
Just once I would like someone to ask me how I am and listen to me when I tell them I feel like crap. I used to be a happy positive person but I feel bc is slowly taking that away from me. I know life goes on and I have been so very lucky with support during treatment, but now I'm supposed to be great.
Tomorrow is another day so hopefully this cloud will lift, hope everyone is well sorry this is such a winge, I just needed to get it off my chest without being judged,take care everyonexx
Comments
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Hi Rowdy
Hello there - cheer up - you are never alone in your feelings.
Yesterday was our 13th wedding anniversary and Mr SNAG (not !) was no help to my sad mood either.
Then I re-read the words someone else put on this site and I felt a lot better. I have it as my background screen over a lovely ocean photo (I yearn for the ocean). I will try to copy the words for you.
PM me if you just want to talk.
Big hugs
Summer :-)
Here they are:
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
Everything will work out
Things will get better
You are important
You are worthy of great things
You are loveable
The time is now
This too, shall pass
You can be who you really are
The best is yet to come
You are strong
You can do this
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Hi Rowdy,
I am sending you a big hug and as my mum would say have a good swear, it always makes me feel better! You know it's not just our emotions that need healing it our bodies too I am only just realising myself that when the treatment finishes it doesn't mean everything is fine and dandy again, recovery is going to be a much longer road than expected. Anyway I hope you won something on the cup!
Emma Xxx
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Dear Rowdy
Sometimes you need something else. I went to a Counsellor when I hit my third bad side effect. Everyone thought I was doing great, my partner was very supportive, only I knew how close I was to losing it! A few months with someone professional, who knew her stuff, made practical and doable suggestions and helped me get to a new, very acceptable me instead of hankering after the old me, who could not get her head about not being superwoman, was worth the not very great cost!
It's a very worthwhile investment!
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Hi Rowdy, sending hugs your way. Take care, Lyn
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Hi Summer
I start Chemo in 3 days and I have just printed out your lovely inspiring words "Believe in yourself" and I am going to look at them every day to get me through this battle. I am nervous and tired already, but thankyou for your help already....
Cath XXX
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Hi Rowdy Not much I can say, sometimes I can't believe I celebrated when finished treatment. You think its over - then these feelings set in, along with some side effects that dont want to go away. The tiredness doesn't help much either. Sometimes I sit there and think - Is this as good as it gets?? Maybe talking to a councillor would help. I know I feel better just after talking to my physio - she says that we should give ourselves about 2 years to recover - makes me happy that I can recover still!!! Hopefully venting has helped and things start improving for you. Pam
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Breast cancer and the treatment process really does your (our) head in, doesn't it? The sad days are the worst.
if we are sharing inspiring messages here's some I found today (for myself but you can have them too) from Louise hay:
- when I bring myself to grief, it is healing.
- i will feel my grief but not wallow in it
- in my sadness, I love myself
- i love life, and life loves me
Plus my favourite:
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying "I will try again tomorrow".
Sending you my very best wishes.
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Hey rowdy
Try not to be too hard on yourself. When things get overwhelming just take a deep breath and remember how far you have come. Try not to stress out to much over work....Remember its only work much more important things in life. If you are not coping too well speak to someone about it maybe there are others that can help you. i hear you re your hubby i have one exactly the same at my place!!
Lots of positive thoughts coming your way. ??
Maryrose
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Hello Rowdy
Contact the McGrath breast care nurses- one rang me today?? ( I am a third of the way through my radiotherapy) and warned that people with breast cancer often feel they can't cope when their treatment is finished and she had referred people to counselling and advised taking more time off work if you are able to...
look after yourself ??
Take Care - thinking of you and sending hugs ??
Jan
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I'm with you - people think because your treatment has finished you are magically back to normal - huh! I sympathise with you - feel free to tell us how you feel daily - I know everyone on this site will listen - don't expect too much of yourself - bigs hugs. RosG
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Hey Rowdy, sending you a big cuddle. You are one of my inspirations on this site. You are so supportive of all the members here, and you work and manage stuff at home. Just remember that you are remarkable, and that you're allowed to have a bad day every now and then. Might be time to remove your super girl cape and have a rest. Take care, Trace ????????
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Hey Rowdy:) I am glad that you posted this on here.Judging by the replies,I feel that many other ladies can sympathise with you.I am nearly two years past the end of my treatment now,but I can tell you that I definitely struggled emotionally,in the first few months after treatment.Some days were worse than others,but somewhere along the way,I have returned to normal!!!! Occasionally I have a sad day,feel a bit sorry for myself,but I know now that I will wake up the next day and feel just fine,so I just go with it.This network of wonderful ladies( everyone give themselves a pat on the back!!!) is the place for support,so please stay connected on here.Cheers Robyn.xox
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Hi Rowdy
This "new normal" sucks. I struggle with it on a daily basis. It feels like post traumatic stress almost. Yes, everyone's expectation is that treatment is over, you're cured so you should be on top of the world. If only it worked like that.
As far as work goes, here's a strategy that I use. I write down what I need to get done in the week and prioritise it. As I complete each task, I cross it off. It actually makes you feel like you are achieving something. You are only one person and you can only do what you can do. Is there someone you can ask to give you a hand? Perhaps go to your manager and get them to prioritise what they need done. And remember the world won't implode if it doesn't all get done this week. It will still be there next week.
Yep, my hubby and kids are he same. Unless you specifically ask for help (and even then sometimes it doesn't happen) they don't think to do things themselves. That one I don't know how you get around. Plan something nice for yourself. Or even a weekend away. Step off the life treadmill if even only for an hour. Yes tomorrow is another day. Hope you feel brighter tomorrow. Take care. Karen xox
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Good morning ladies thank you so much just knowing that there is someone out there that understands I don't feel so alone. I have seen a counsellor and yes it did help, I'm thinking I might need to go back.
I know in there is my old self the strong., positive fun person. Today I go to work with a new look on today because of all of you.
Sending you all big hugs and a laugh, I feel more like the warriour instead of the sookxxxxxxx
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Good morning Rowdy,
Sorry I missed commenting yesterday. Glad to hear today is another day. From reading the comments, it's cemented another reason why I love this network. We are not alone. There's always someone out there who 'gets you'. I'm early days post active treatment (just finished radiotherapy last Friday), the last straw is burn under my arm . Family and friends are wondering why I'm not ecstatic it's all over, when I feel like it'll never be over.
Sending you a big hug. Have a good day.
Karen xx
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