Letting work colleagues know: yes or no ?

joygerm

After my diagnosis a month ago I have kept it very quiet and only told a few people at work.  I manage an office of 39 people  and I am about to start my radiation treatment in a couple of weeks.  I don't know if I should tell my team or not.  I am very torn about this - does anyone else have any advise ?

rowdy

Hi it is tough  I got the manager to tell the people I work with, I was taking a lot of time off and people thought I was on holidays.

Once everyone knew it was easier to go to work, everyone surprised me and respected my privacy. I think truthfully they didn't know what to say. I found it easier to get it out there I did have chemo and it was a bit harder to hide.

Do what you are comfortable with. Take care

adean

I agree with rowdy my manager told a few key persons and then I went around and told groups ,all were astounded and said you should have told us sooner. Respect was the number one thing I received. Then if you need time off people are not guessing and know the facts. Staff then had an opportunity to ask how I was and I felt more comfortable. We are all different so you do what you think is right for you.    Adean

Mozzie Bear

Hi Joygerm, I kept my diagnosis on a need to know basis until it was clear I couldn't keep it a secret - I thought my bald head would give me away.  I had been away from work for 9 weeks before returning post surgery and after the start of chemo before I had made the decision to let people know what was happening.

I started by letting my boss and those in the know it was ok to let people know why I wasn't at work if they asked after me.  I then emailed a number of people I wanted to know before they saw me to lessen the shock factor.  The people who knew me best new something was wrong because I was away for so long. I then went back to work.

Since then I have been supported and cared for in ways I truly did not expect. 

The best thing though was the number of women who made their Breastscreen appointments after hearing my story.  I felt good about that.

I start radiotherapy on the 17th March after 18 weeks of chemo.  I know that I will need the continued support of my work colleagues because of the fatigue factor.

You might like to wait and see how you go before you let your team know but they may also be able to provide you with care and support when you need it - which won't be every day.  You know your team best and will know when the time is right.  Like my colleagues though, they may sense something is wrong.

good luck what ever your decision is - you don't have to decide today. Maureen

mona63

Only 2-3 people knew at the operation time and that suited me as I was still getting my head around diagnosis and possible treatment: however week before radiation I sent an email around mentioning radiation treatment for 6 weeks and business as usual except I would be in at work up to an hour late each morning and I was having two weeks annual leave and I made arrangements if I was to need unexpected sick leave - some people asked - most were surprised as no chemo- but this way suited me. Good luck.

Annedipa

It is tough to tell people. I manage a team of 4 and told them and the management team in my department. Very few others know. It gets awkward sometimes as people want to know what colour I dyed my hair (its my wig!), or what I did during the holidays I just had (op, days off after chemo treatments etc.). In some ways it would be easier if people knew but I also don't want people to look at me differently than before. For me its a case of I need as much 'normal' as I can and I didn't feel I could get that if everyone knew. Best of luck with your decision. It's a difficult one. Cheers Anne

Cook65

Hi

I am a manager where I work. I told the director of the company and asked him to let the other staff know before I came back to work, I was annual leave when I found out.  I just figured that they were all going to find out sooner or later as I was having 14 months of treatment. Particularly with chemo, I had a lot of time off work. Everyone has been very supportive and caring. I struggled with peoples reactions so it was easier for me to do it this way. I certainly think that you need to tell a few key people at the very least. Do what feels right for you. Take care and good luck. Karen xox

Emma T

Hi Joy, I was keen to make sure all of my colleagues were aware of my situation.  Management told them as soon as I was diagnosed as I was heading straight into surgery and needed a few weeks off work.  They held a morning tea for me when I returned and were so unbelievably fantastic!

Unfortunately I don't know your staff but I have no doubt that you are very well respected and they wouldn't want you to go through this on your own.

Good luck and go with your gut feeling.

x