My moment of truth - not that Stylish!!
My moment of truth - not that Stylish!!
(how to communicate to my young kids)
When I was diagnosed with BC, my fear was how to communicate my unknown journey to my children.
Well, at the beginning - I choose not too tell them about Cancer just yet. Just go with the flow - as everything was so uncertain & unknown to everyone at the time. That was over 3 - 4 weeks of MRI, scans, doctors, tests, biopsy etc etc… before my lumpectomy then Mastectomy. Wow, what marathon of emotions for my husband and I over a short and yet long period of uncertainty. It was hard on ME & hubby! My kids don’t need all that – they just want smiling mummy and happy mummy to be with them. So I choose to use words like TESTS, doctor is FIXING me etc. I guess I rather communicate my FIXING Journel then the Diagnose itself. Something I though it was appropriate for my children (age 2 and a kinder child – who just started school)
The consequences of my choice, the only see my new-scar-breast after I had my Latissimus Dorsi Flap. The scar on my chest & back were more acceptable to my liking. I did missed having a bath with them so much. I never regret this, as I think it was the best for my children at the time.
Sometime last year, I was organizing some RedKite fundraising, my older child ask what is Cancer – so that was my moment of true! With a relax atmosphere I was able to communicate that I had Breast Cancer, and the cancer has been taken out – and I am all well and happy. Kids loves happy ending, so do I!!
Through my journey, I have researched a lot of material over how to tell your children about caner, so when the moment comes – I can do my best. However, I end up telling my children that way I feel fit to their personality etc, it is not a TEXTBOOK answer. My kids loves and appreciate my scars (the back and the front), they know the scars were where the Doctor FIXES mummy!
However, of cause you are travelling your own journey and situation. Here are few sides if you want to do some reading:
www.cancercouncil.com.au/.../livingwithcancer/.../when_a_parent_has_cancer.pdf
www.cancercare.org/pdf/fact_sheets/fs_children_en.pdf
This book is by (it was on loan to my by my Plastic surgen nurse - though I never used it)
Ref: http://www.judyoz.com/ccp0-prodshow/my-mums-got-cancer-lucy-blunt-new-book.html
Author Dr Lucy Blunt is a Clinical Psychologist, mother and breast cancer survivor who knows, as a mum, the fears and concerns involved in telling children about cancer. This book is honest, clear and often humerous. It offers support and comfort to children and is an invaluable resource for their family, school and the wider community.
Redkite http://www.redkite.org.au/ provides real support to children, young people and their families through the difficult cancer experience.