Life so fast
Life this year seems faster than most, or maybe it just the busier we become in life the faster life seems to move foreward. It been nearly a week since we found out surgery date.. That day now fast approaches & life has become busy as always.
The roller coaster of emotions continues.Simple family moments like taking the kids to Santa Photos, yes in november why because then I no we have it done and copies can all go in there photo albums.
That afternoon we took them swimming because I knew it be a while before I could go with them again, strangely enough I was so excited till we got there & I put on my bathers. It bought on a flood of thoughts about will I look different in a bikini, will people know I had a mastecomy. This was so confronting since I have never been one to care or worry what people think. Then in an instance the thought were gone as my excited girls called me to come & play. Our baby first time in pool & he loved it. That day was a wonderful family day I will cherish forever.
The next day I had one of my close friends come & cut my long hair off. In that moment it was yet another sad moment of realising life is about to dramatically change and nothing I can do or say will stop that. I can only do things like blog, cut my hair, spend time with my family to prepare myself for the fight ahead. On the brighter side I look younger with short hair.
My biggest concern as surgery draws near is not myself, not my kids but my husband. It alot to ask the person you love to do there job and your own. He has been incredibly strong, but I no deep down he is so loving and caring he will need support more than ever. I keep reminding him it ok to fall apart known of this will be easy, however we will battle together as a team.
My network of friends & family have been incredible in helping me ensure my family at home are supported. In life you never realise how much those people mean to you until now when first time in life instead of doing it all myself I have asked for help and they are all there 100%. I am forever thankful for this. Personal mention to the best gifts ever new PJ so I look nice but all my bits are covered so not to scare my kids & a drink bottle. Sounds stupide I no but my beautiful friend bought it for me so I didnt have to lift an arm to drink. In that moment I was flooded with more emotions about the fact people are really thinking abouit ME, the me that wont be able to lift or move to well after saturday
I had a dear friend say to me today im a wonder woman because im in the office working and food shopping instead of taking the day to myself before surgery. I told her I am not wonder woman at all I am simply a mother. The family business, along with my kids & husband still have to eat. Life goes on next week with out me home..
Lastly shout out to my mum who has given up Nanna life to be a mum to my 4 crazy kids. Dont worry mum you got this in the bag after a week you be excited by the next 6 months of my life with kids xooxox
As the hours count down till tomorrow.. friday 21st to be admitted at 3pm for lymph node dye injection. I hope that it is not a completely sleepless night into saturday morning 8.30am surgery. Should take 3-5 hours, 3-7 days in hospital. The days spent in hospital will be the hardest as I miss the normality of my life with cazy kids & hubby.
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Thanks for the up date hun. We have been thinking of you xx
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PS share the new hair do...
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PS share the new hair do...
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PS share the new hair do...
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