Hair loss, the one thing that everyone automatically associates with chemotherapy. It's the most obvious sign to the general public that something is going on in your life that you'd really rather not have to deal with.
Hair is a very important thing for a lot of women. You change your hair style, colour and length. You can put it up, curl it, straighten it. Changing your hair can give you confidence and make you feel like a new person. When that option is taken from you, what do you do?
I attended a Look Good, Feel Better workshop a few days after my first treatment. I was asked if I minded being the wig model. I didn't mind in the slightest, at least that way I got to see what I looked like in various wigs, scarves, bandanas. I didn't look like an idiot, so that was a relief. I'd already decided that wigs were not for me, it's also too damn hot in Queensland for wigs in my opinion.
I bought three bandanas and that would be my lot.
Within a week of my first FEC treatment, I no longer needed to shave my armpits - yay! Hair 'down there' also went within the first two or three weeks. This made me very happy, I hate bikini line maintenance!
The hair on my head started to fall out after two weeks. Just small amounts at first, then you could pull out chunks if you really wanted to, or if you are my husband.
He was on his way back to work when I told him it was really starting to go. He gently grabbed a small chunk of my hair and pulled. The whole lot came out. His eyes widened. His mouth dropped. The apologies started flowing. He only expected a few strands to come out, not the whole handful. I think the fact that I was laughing made him feel a bit better. My scalp had started to hurt when I touched my head and I was starting to leave a blanket of hair on the sofa.
Two weeks and four days after my first treatment, I woke up to find a rather ridiculous looking bald patch on my left temple and a very thin covering on my right temple and noticeably less volume everywhere else. I looked like the recipient of the worse hair cut in the world. I decided that if I didn't cover it up I would get more stares than wearing a bandana. I hastily covered my hair and off we went to school.
I got home, got my husbands hair clippers out and proceeded to shave off my hair. It was the most liberating experience. I usually cut my husbands hair, so doing mine was rather fun. A few strokes in I did wonder what the hell I was doing. Once it was all gone and I'd showered and got rid of all the strays bits of hair I could finally examine the finished 'look'!
My bald head actually wasn't as bad as I thought it might be. I felt compelled to touch it for most of the rest of the day. I picked the girls up from school and spoke to them about what I'd done and showed them. My youngest said I looked beautiful. The eldest basically asked me to keep my bandana on at all times!
When my husband saw my head, he was gutted that I didn't have a weird shaped head. Obviously the name calling started after that, uncle fester, slappy, kojak. My eyebrows and eyelashes took a lot longer to disappear and I finally stopped needing to shave my legs after about four treatments.
Taking a small amount of control over the things that's you really can't control is a win in my book. Having no hair has not really bothered me. I get a few odd looks, but I'm sure I got them when I had hair too! The girls aren't bothered by it and neither is my husband. I'm sure this has helped with the way I feel about my hair, or lack thereof.
Published 11 years ago
Version 1.0
