Stressed, exhausted physically and financially
Morning Ladies, My apologies in advance for the long read... I am awake early (every morning, if I have slept much at all), I have another infection it seems. I finished antibiotics not a week ago (14 days worth). I have had enough. Post-op Seroma drained x 3 this will be infection number 2, started day 1 of 5 weeks of radiotherapy yesterday. I know having the seroma drained is an infection risk, but when my breast was twice the size of the other one, an it was reducing my ROM in that arm and extremely painful, I had little choice. Feeling just miserable. While on the antibiotics, it was the first time I had-for the most part-been pain free since my surgery date on the 5th of November. I am truly exhausted. Pain is back with a force in the night and am red and hot on my breast. Combine that with the hot flushes I have had since having to stop HRT at diagnosis and we have one hot bed!! (Not in the sense I’d like it to be that’s for sure!). So I guess back to the Doctors where, as we have moved into another year and I no longer have my safety net threshold, I will have to pay for all of my services again. I went private as we knew no better, the option of going public was not discussed and I have to say I was certainly naive about paying the ‘gaps’ that going private would mean. Literally it has cost us a decent European holiday. Or at most it has cost me my ability to take some time off work. The approximately 8k (I’m too scared to count), so far we have spent could have allowed me some time off work. I have watched our bank balance decrease while our credit card has increased. Instead I have struggled to work because once I used up all of my sick leave and am now owe annual leave, I have no choice but to continue working. Despite having an an infection and then radiation after work today(who knows how I will manage to get to the doc), I have to go to work today. I wish I had known that private health cover does not mean that you are in fact covered. Or even that EVERY test, treatment that you have done has major out of pocket costs. The bills, including those I was never informed there would be a gap, keep rolling in. Yesterday I received a bill for the gap for my lymphoscintigraphy that I had on surgery day (5th November), another $198, and one from S & N $170 for the testing of the drained seroma fluid. A crazy $368 in one day-I can’t even pay for that with my days work! It it should be compulsory for providers to disclose that there will be a gap and what that gap will be at the time of service. What do I do now? I honestly can’t afford to keep going like this. Does anyone know if I can now be referred into the public system? And if that is not an option, would it happen if I start to refuse treatment based on the fact that I just can no longer afford it?? Its my 50th Birthday in 6 weeks and instead of celebrating in Bali as was the plan, I’m not even sure I will feel well enough to do anything. Definitely don’t feel like I have much to celebrate right at this minute. We have had to cancel the Bali trip as it is said to be just too risky for me and I likely wouldn’t be covered for anything that may happen anyway. We have travel insurance, but this will still be at a cost to us. I feel like my life has changed in so many ways in the past 2 months, I can’t even begin to list them. I’ve had enough, I am exhausted yet there is still so much to go through. On top of that, I have this guilt that my treatment and cancer is not as bad as some, and that I should be grateful. As we have all said many a time since this shitfest started-I WANT MY OLD LIFE BACK!! Thanks in anticipation, Michelle XOX