Letting go of blame - WHY did I get cancer?
I've just listened to BCNA's excellent podcast: What you don't know until you do, and one of the comments there made me want to share something that might bring comfort to anyone wondering “Why me?” When I was diagnosed, I went straight to questioning what I might have done wrong. I think a lot of us do. It’s easy to assume cancer comes from our own doing - e.g. drinking, not exercising enough, or eating poorly. But in my case, none of that fits. I have never smoked or drank alcohol (!), and for decades now I’ve exercised daily and eat a vegetarian/pescatarian diet with no dairy, no processed food, and very limited processed sugar etc. Over the last years, I'm moved to a job that's relatively stress-free and giving me much satisfaction and flexibility. I’m young, healthy, lean, muscly, and don’t carry any of the high-risk genes. And still, I got breast cancer. I’m not sharing this to scare anyone or suggest healthy habits don’t matter. They absolutely do — and I believe they’re helping me now in recovery, physically and mentally, and hopefully they've contributed to having less aggressive cancer type. But I’m sharing it in case it helps some of you lift some guilt. If you’ve been blaming yourself for a glass of wine, skipped workouts, or a part of your diet — please don’t. Cancer is complex, and sometimes it just happens, even when you’ve done everything “right.” Sending love and strength to everyone going through this. *Moderators - pls feel free to remove if not appropriate*
No tests before surgery
Hello everyone, im having surgery in 15 days. Obviously im getting a bit more anxious. I asked my Dr do i need scans or bloods before my bilateral mastectomy he said no. My sister said that is strange and not right. She made me worry and stress more. I just want to get thru this and hopefully be all clear and not require further treatment. Can I ask what others have had to do prior to surgery..eg bloods and such. Thank u xxx
New diagnosis metastatic breast cancer
Hi, I'm all very new to this being diagnosed only 7 wks ago with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer (triple positive) which has spread to my bones. I am 51 with 2 children. I had only had my first mammogram 18 mths previous which was clear. I felt unwell at work & went to hospital and they found it looking for something else. It has been such an overwhelming process. My family & friends have been amazing but am feeling so very alone.? Worried that there is worse not found yet
Hello everyone, so I had high grade dcis removed with good margins following a lumpectomy. I am having a bilateral mastectomy in 20 days. My brain is running wild with the what ifs. Im terrified they may find something else when I have the surgery. My surgeon seems pretty confident that the mastectomy will remove any worries like that. Do others panic about things like this. Waiting for surgery is torture for a super anxious person like me. Thanks for letting me vent. Hugs to all xHigh grade DCIS
Hello everyone, diagnosed with high grade DCIS I've had a lumpectomy. The surgeon said clear margins. Im scheduled to have a bilateral mastectomy in 29 days. Im going to go flat no reconstruction. I have no family support and quite frankly a useless husband. Rocky marriage prior to the diagnosis. My surgeon said I don't need lymph nodes removed because of the clear margins. I have myself dead and buried im terrified. I have no one to talk to. Hence why I'm here reaching out to you wonderful people. Please be a support for me I have no one. I've lost two sisters to this disease I don't want to join them just yet. Love and blessings ShannonWHO do I tell?
I was diagnosed with early-stage breast cancer 2 weeks ago and had a lumpectomy with sentinel node biopsy last week. I’m recovering , but figuring out support has been tricky. I’m single, with a small close circle — amazing women who are already doing what they can, but they’re busy and going through a lot themselves. I know I need more help, but the next layer of friends includes people who always overshare others private news. I’m hesitant to open up, even though some of them might be able to support me practically. I also love my privacy, alone time I'm not good at asking for what I want/ need - and so far have managed. So I’m a bit stuck between needing more help and not being sure who I feel safe relying on. Has anyone else struggled with this? How did you decide who to tell or lean on — especially when trust or privacy was a concern? Should I even worry about privacy - would it be so bad if the whole world knew...? I prob feel it might from romantic and future job perspective... Thank you in advance!
Along time between
My last 'run in' with Breast Cancer was at 57 WAY back in 2003, when I was diagnosed with Ductal Carcinoma in situ, in the left breast, followed by lumpectomy, radiation and tamoxifen. It was almostllike a non event so much as experiences go. I felt like a 'fake' cancer sufferer, given the few symptoms that I experienced. That same year a diagnosis of cervical CA popped up, followed by a total hysterectomy. SInce then NOTHING. Well almost nothing, until my darling middle daughter was diagnosed with DC at the age of 45. Following surgery, she underwent radiation and chemo etc. I found sharing her journey was so much more challenging than living my own. I guess no mother want to see their children have to deal with negative 'stuff'. She is now 7 years down her journey and so far so good. After all those years of no results on my mamagrams, I have just been diagnosed with grade 2 lobular ca in the right breast. I had only just undergone a left shoulder replacement revision, and was looking forward to life after no more shoulder pain! Because of the shoulder surgery I could no get my arm up for the mamagram, so I had an ultrasound instead. I remember looking at the 'black' space on the screen as the operator kept rolling back and forwards over it and thinking 'WHat are you, you horrible black thing". Anyway following the core biopsy and finally a mamogram I am now about to have MRI and PET scans prior to surgery in about 4 weeks. I have been caught by huge suprise, disbelief, bewilderment, a roller coaster of emotions ranging from I am OK with this to how will I tell my girls to I am not ok with this and lots more wildly swinging feelings from feeling ambivilent to anxious, to wanting to put my head under a pillow and wrap myself up in a doona. Now I am getting my head around what is this lobular thing, to here we go again to aren't I lucky they found it to what if.... 'IT' has spread.
How did I get here?
Hi everyone, what do I say…I am in shock! I felt it was time I reached out to the community as I’ve been reading all your posts the past few weeks and now I really need support and reassurance. I am 56 and have a wonderful husband and three beautiful 20 something children. I had a routine mammogram in April (12 monthly due to Mum and sister both having BC in the past - both early and doing fine now) and diagnosed on 13 May with invasive carcinoma with micropapillary features, 17mm in size, ER/PR+ve HER2 2+equivaocal from biopsy and ultrasound/3D mammogram. A further weeks wait for HER2 ISH testing which was negative before surgery options were discussed. As I have size G breasts and the lump was apparently so small I opted for WLE with oncoplastic breast reduction as my Mum and sister had both had good outcomes with lumpectomy so I was confident with the reduction they would get good margins. Surgery was performed on 30/5 and I’ve recovered well. Here js the kicker…I went back for the surgery and sentinel lymph node biopsy results and first the surgeon tells me the tumour was 64mm not 17mm! Then he tells me there were mega metastases in the lymph node which was removed. On the pathology report it say ‘the lymph node is almost completely replaced by metastatic carcinoma with similar histological features’. The sentinel node was 28mm. Does this mean I have metastatic cancer? I am reeling…how did they get it so wrong??? And what now? The surgeon has said the next step is an auxiliary dissection which he has booked me in on 30/6 to do…20 days away! He said he needs to wait for things to settle properly after the last surgery with reduction. Meanwhile this cancer is travelling all through me… I am booked in for a PET with CT scan on Thursday which I guess they are looking for more metastases. Should I also be asking for a bone scan? I have not been referred to an oncologist yet, apparently that is after the next surgery but I really don’t understand why they wouldn’t be thinking to get me started on that now rather than waiting even longer. I just can’t comprehend the results I got yesterday. I have so many questions and I just feel like the surgeon is following a routine but I don’t understand why. After a sleepless night of anxiety through the roof I would love some words of advice from this amazing community. Thank you x
