Papillary Lesion - overwhelming anxiety
Hi Everyone, Sorry if this isn't the right place for this post, but I'm feeling overwhelmed and very alone right now. I have been a member here for 13 years and it's crazy to think that it was initially to help support my mum with her breast cancer. Now, here I am with my own possible issue... My mother developed her breast cancer (stage 2c) at age 46, the same age I am now. She's alive and well after treatment (partial mastectomy and hysterecotomy), but it's also meant that I get my boobs checked regularly via mammo and/or ultrasound. This year, they found a 'papillary lesion or complex cyst' - that's what it says on my GP's referral for me to get another U/S and a core biopsy if needed. I mean, it's hard to NOT know someone who's been through a breast cancer journey these days. There are so many women who've experienced it. I've always felt like my turn was just around the corner. What's probably made me even more anxious is that my dear cousin is battling Stage 4 MBC and I've been in contact with her frequently to try and support her. She and I are in very similar circumstances (ie. living alone with kids) so I can't help but feel very deeply for her. I think holding that emotional space has done a number on me... Compounding the issue is that I have pretty severe PTSD which I've got under control for years now, but suddenly I'm having panic attacks and struggling to do even the most basic tasks. I have no idea what I'll be like when I get the results of the second scan/biopsy. I live alone with my 17-year-old (who has special needs). Frankly, I'm terrified and the fear is paralysing me. GP is urging me to make mental health appointments to get it under control. What will happen to my child if I get sick? Sorry for the ramble. Any advice or wisdom would be so appreciated. I feel better just making this post. Thanks, Effy.
How did I get here?
Hi everyone, what do I say…I am in shock! I felt it was time I reached out to the community as I’ve been reading all your posts the past few weeks and now I really need support and reassurance. I am 56 and have a wonderful husband and three beautiful 20 something children. I had a routine mammogram in April (12 monthly due to Mum and sister both having BC in the past - both early and doing fine now) and diagnosed on 13 May with invasive carcinoma with micropapillary features, 17mm in size, ER/PR+ve HER2 2+equivaocal from biopsy and ultrasound/3D mammogram. A further weeks wait for HER2 ISH testing which was negative before surgery options were discussed. As I have size G breasts and the lump was apparently so small I opted for WLE with oncoplastic breast reduction as my Mum and sister had both had good outcomes with lumpectomy so I was confident with the reduction they would get good margins. Surgery was performed on 30/5 and I’ve recovered well. Here js the kicker…I went back for the surgery and sentinel lymph node biopsy results and first the surgeon tells me the tumour was 64mm not 17mm! Then he tells me there were mega metastases in the lymph node which was removed. On the pathology report it say ‘the lymph node is almost completely replaced by metastatic carcinoma with similar histological features’. The sentinel node was 28mm. Does this mean I have metastatic cancer? I am reeling…how did they get it so wrong??? And what now? The surgeon has said the next step is an auxiliary dissection which he has booked me in on 30/6 to do…20 days away! He said he needs to wait for things to settle properly after the last surgery with reduction. Meanwhile this cancer is travelling all through me… I am booked in for a PET with CT scan on Thursday which I guess they are looking for more metastases. Should I also be asking for a bone scan? I have not been referred to an oncologist yet, apparently that is after the next surgery but I really don’t understand why they wouldn’t be thinking to get me started on that now rather than waiting even longer. I just can’t comprehend the results I got yesterday. I have so many questions and I just feel like the surgeon is following a routine but I don’t understand why. After a sleepless night of anxiety through the roof I would love some words of advice from this amazing community. Thank you x
New diagnosis metastatic breast cancer
Hi, I'm all very new to this being diagnosed only 7 wks ago with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer (triple positive) which has spread to my bones. I am 51 with 2 children. I had only had my first mammogram 18 mths previous which was clear. I felt unwell at work & went to hospital and they found it looking for something else. It has been such an overwhelming process. My family & friends have been amazing but am feeling so very alone.
DCIS - Mastectomy - Recon - clear for two years....now potentially something else
My situation in a brief paragraph: At 50 years of age, I was diagnosed with DCIS in my left breast. I opted for a bilateral mastectomy and recon. Sentinel nodes were clear. No radio or chemo required. That was almost two years ago. Apart from now suffering all the typical effects and symptoms of menopause due to no HRT, I've been blessed with a dream run and fantastic road to full recovery from BC. Completely grateful and thankful for the team and support I've had around me. The latest situation is that I've just been for my second annual post BC ultrasound with a view to reducing visits with my surgeon from three monthly to annually. I was looking forward to kissing cancer goodbye!! However, the sonographer has found an inflamed and vascular looking lymph node in my right armpit (opposite side to original BC diagnosis). It was explained to me that this can be due to a number of reasons: fighting off an infection, breathing in smoke, recent flu vaccinations or, at worst, something more sinister like cancer. My surgeon reviewed this and wants another ultrasound in three months to check on it and if need be, will biopsy then....I have a sick feeling about this. Since I don't feel like I'm fighting an infection, I haven't breathed in smoke lately & my flu vax was done 10 weeks ago in the opposite arm .... I am feeling extremely anxious that cancer has returned and that it's found a spot in my right armpit to grow and spread. A three month wait to see if this is or isn't the case seems like absolute torture and a return to 'the waiting game' that only cancer sufferers know. I'm sure that most of you reading this post can relate to the worry of 'the wait' when you have that initial cancer diagnosis. The awful feeling of being out of control and the unknown picture of what's up ahead. Sleeplessness has returned. Constantly thinking about it has returned. The worry has returned. I have back and neck pain that I'm sure is due to the stress, but am naturally concerned it's cancer returned. Since my mastectomy and recon, I've been able to put all of that aside - until now. Has anyone here experienced a vascular anomaly with their lymph nodes post having BC and recon? If so, what was it attributed to? How was it handled by your team? Should I be asking for a lymph biopsy or intervention earlier than waiting three months or am I worrying unnecessarily? I'd be grateful for any thoughts, honest advice or similar experiences & decisions that anyone can offer.
Scared and lonely
Hi everyone, I was diagnosed about 2 weeks ago. I have cancer in both my left breast and the main lymph node under the armpit. It has been a hell of a last 9 months. While on a holiday in Thailand with my husband for my 60th birthday, he told me that the spark had gone. One month later he said he wanted a divorce. Five months later I was diagnosed. It has been three weeks since the tumors were found and still waiting for scans. Hopefully tomorrow at my first oncology appointment. I am living in the family home with my husband (who I love still) in the bedroom downstairs and one of my daughters. This whole situation is so hard to accept. A regular ultrasound showed a cancer that had progressed beyond the breast. It makes me wonder why they aren’t yearly.
Do I stay or do I go?
Not your average post. Originally a backpacker from the UK, been in Aus 5 years and have moved onto a work sponsorship visa with my employer. I live in a very remote area and it is a 4 hour flight to my nearest 'treatment centre'. Two weeks ago it was confirmed (via biopsy) that in my left breast I have a 2mm invasive mass, and 10cm of non invasive DCIS. I had a contrast mamo and PET scan (no result yet) and scheduled for an MRI on the 6th June, and appointment with the surgeon to discuss options on the 10th June. My breast dr said the surgeon will recommend a mastectomy due to the large area of DCIS. Possibly chemo, radio and hormone therapy. They are also talking about what I want to do with my eggs. I am so scared, and I am not sleeping. I am only 34 years old without children. I don't know what to do, do I stay here in Australia and undergo the treatment recommended and stay near the hospital with the mother of a friend (who has also had breast cancer and has said she is more than happy to support me through required treatment). I love my life here that I have built over the past 5 years, and I love my job. I am scared I will lose my job with the next few months of treatment coming up (very little can be done remotely), my visa is tied to my job. I may get deported mid way through treatment? I dont know? I know I should speak to an immigration lawyer but I am already inundated with administration from cancer. My family back home are very supportive and will support whichever decision I make. They and I am also wary of the health care system back at home (which isn't in great shape). If I go home, I will take all my diagnosis letters and scans, but I will still have to start this process again from the start and basically be told twice I have cancer and they want to chop my breast off. I wont be able to get a job due to appointments and treatment, and wont be entitled to benefits as I haven't paid tax in my home country for 5 years. Its not just cancer anymore, I am not scared of the cancer as such as my whole life here being ripped away from under my feet. Sorry for the long post. I just don't know what to do for the best. Either way, I need to stay here until I have the full picture and know what the surgeon wants to do.
Recovery with other chronic illness/disease
I'm through treatment (surgery and radiation) and the stress of making the huge decision not to take AI’s (pure mucinous carcinoma) and. Y onco team is fine with that. But I suspect like many, breast cancer is not my only life or health issue. Five weeks after radiotherapy I’m so fatigued I’m having trouble doing much. I also have diabetes, severe kidney disease and heart failure, the latter managed by a device that restricts my heart rate range. Not whinging as these are things I have under fairly close to optimal control. And it is what it is. But I don’t know how to get past this fatigue. I'm exercising in small doses, increasing strength training (also in small doses) but my zest for life has disappeared. Is this normal? I usually paint, and crochet and garden and cook and read and play my guitar. Not sure where to turn to or whether to just wait it out in hope. I’m either under or overdoing it. Ideas?
De novo Mets
It's everywhere, all through my spine, left shoulder , should blade, breast bone, hips and both femurs. Some of them are big . In February I was blissfully happy with my husband , backpack hiking in Tasmanian mountain wilderness for our 1st year anniversary. I just had an annoying sore shoulder and what I thought was normal menopausal aches. The tumour in my boob is tiny, I can't even feel it now I know where it is. It wasn't picked up in mamograms. My blood test are normal. I don't feel sick other than waves of panic. I'm not angry, just terribly terribly sad . Biopsy says it's a HR+ PR+ Her -. The nurses telle that's good and slow growing, lol, tell that to my skeleton! I'm finding it hard to be positive given the extent of the spread. Still waiting to see a specialist and start treatment. My doctor has said no running, cycling or hiking and that I'm lucky I haven't broken my arm or back. I literally don't know what to do with myself. It's like I have to give up my "core" personality
Feeling scared and just a bit angry
Hi, I'm Karen, 61yo, from Victoria. I was diagnosed in September, my birthday actually, I was numb. I had been dealing with a very coercive relationship, narcissism, gaslighting the lot, to be told this news was just too much, I had all sorts going through my head, How do I tell my children? How do I do this? Why me? Everything was so hard to process and even now I'm struggling. I was told it was an Oestrogen based cancer, sorry I cant remember much of that conversation, but 2 Biopsies, the first one they biopsied the wrong lymph node, Pet scan, M.R.I and blood test later to be told sorry its not good news, well having a lump in the breast isnt good news anyway but, I had my right breast and Lymph nodes removed, then to be told its bad news I'm so sorry was another kick in the guts, 35 of my 36 nodes were affected, so onto another more thorough Pet scan, blood test and M.R.I, To get the good news that it wasn't anywhere else in my body. Now I'm preparing for Chemo to start on the 2nd of Jan and I'm absolutely terrified, I have no emotional or any other support at home, even though I'm told everyday that he cares, they say actions speak louder than words well Im yet to see any, my son who is my heart, doesn't know how to deal with this and neither do I. They have just had an Eptopic pregnancy and I'm hurting for them, we were all so excited and happy. I don't know what to do or how I'm going to do it, my living situation is so toxic to my mental health and is impacting on my son and daughter-in-law as well. My partner is trying to get me out of the house and that is something I can't deal with at the moment as I'm trying to deal with being there for my son and daughter-in-law and Chemo, I feel like I'm rambling, my life is a mess, I just don't know what to do. Sorry for the rambling talk I'm not very good at putting things on paper, everything is very disjointed.
