Anxiety over secondary breast cancer
Hello everyone I am hoping for some sort of advice/reassurance as since my post-op consultation with the surgeon I have been in a complete state of anxiety and going through some real funky moods. Have been on anti anxiety meds for 10+ years so I may need to increase my dosage but before the cancer diagnosis it was very well controlled... At my first post-op consultation at the end of May (bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction with sentinel node removal), I was told by the surgeon that I did not respond to chemotherapy and that I may need further alternative chemotherapy treatment. I was also given the news that the sentinel node was positive even though in hospital I was told it was negative and because of that I would need an axillary node clearance in July. Later seeing the oncologist he stated that no further chemo would be necessary but that was before my second operation to remove the additional nodes. I got the results last Thursday from the axillary node clearance and had one positive node out of the six removed. So in total two out of seven nodes removed were now shown to be positive. During this consultation the surgeon again stated more chemo may be required but speak to the oncologist for further info. He also reiterated his view about the original chemotherapy not working..... I began freaking out again - internally because I tend to bottle things up and almost pretend to myself that I am not worried or concerned. Anyway, my thoughts at this moment in time are screw what the surgeon is saying, the oncologist is the one with the real knowledge/information on chemotherapy and hormonal therapy. I see him on Monday so I will get some further clarification then... In the meantime, what I really wanted to find out was what have others done to keep healthy during and since completing active treatment?? Have you managed to exercise, are you often doubting if you are doing the right thing to prevent secondaries. I am eating the right things. Am I being too hard on myself ?? I am worrying so much about secondaries and can't seem to get these thoughts out of my mind - is this common at this stage of the game?? I am seven months into active treatment - had chemotherapy, bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction and a recent axillary node clearance.. There is a now a slight lull now between my surgery and radiotherapy so I have had more time to be worrying about what the future holds... I work full time and find it really hard to fit in making healthy meals, keeping active and maintaining good energy levels. My anxiety seems to have escalated further because I am worrying about eating the wrong thing, not doing any exercise (because of feeling flat/down and no energy since my op on 15th July, not to mention the tactless remarks of the surgeon. I also have very painful cording after first and second op - worse since the lymph node removal). I have cut down on practically all of the naughty foods I used to consume before my diagnosis and have actually lost around 8 kilos since diagnosis and my BMI is within a healthy range. I now eat reasonably well trying to incorporate green veggies with most meals, very limited alcohol but I haven't managed much exercise in the past few weeks. Certainly I am not active on a regular daily basis, working in an office 40 hours per week. I am doing some aromatherapy when I can to try and calm me down which helps a bit with my anxiety. Sorry about my stupid ranting - I am probably not making any sense. It's all in my hands and I need to start exercising to increase my energy I guess, its when to fit it in though..... Many thanks for listening and hope you may have some suggestions or ideas to put this all into some perspective... Thanks Anne
My first post
Hi everyone, this is my first time to reach out to anyone out there who maybe able to help me. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in May 2010. Had mastectomy, chemo, radiotherapy. In March thru to April 2011 had a failed attemped at breast reconstruction. In October 2012 I was diagnosed with secondary breast cancer in the liver and bones. After ct scans and various other tests revealed both had spread extensively thru my body. I have had xeloda, navelbine, denosamab injected every month. Over the past year my bone cancer has been the worst. If not for it I would be quite well and life would have stayed somewhat normal. Unfortunately, I no longer drive the car , I walk with a walker, and need care to dress, get in and out of bed etc. The plus is that I try to greet everyday with a smile and I remind myself of the things I can do rather than what I can't. My carer is my wonderful hudband. He now works 3 to 4 days a week. We have had an enormous roller coaster ride since my first diagnosis. I have my pain managed but find I have to rest most of the day and fear this will worsen. I am almost at the end of my tether. I saw my oncologist last week and I had to make the decision to go on more intravenous chemo, more ct scans , blood tests, maybe a bone marrow biopsy, or to let things take their course.I have chosen to go ahead another time. I hope I am strong enough. Is anyone out there a bit like me and can you suggest maybe some pain relief you have found helpful. Looking forward to hearing from someone out there. Kind regards, Denise
Getting on with Life
Good afternoon ladies It's been a little while but I'm still around :-) My nails are under control - look a treat but at least they are no longer oozing - blurgh! Of course the range of antibiotics given to me then resulted in me getting a bowel infection so I am on AB's to control that now! You have to laugh really. It's all good though - I feel well. My latest scans have shown a partial response - the node in my axilla is still shrinking while the stubborn lung mets are about the same - so stable (c'mon guys - get with the program!) The skin met is also shrinking. I am hopeful next scan will show reduction everywhere again. I was down in the dumps about the lung mets until it was pointed out to me that nothing new is growing and it's all stable and I have no symptoms and am tolerating the treatment and the next scan may very well show further reduction - I pulled out of my funk and thought "geez girl - live while you are alive!" - it is something that can be said for all of us - cancer or no cancer - the cancer bit just messes with your head a little more. I was wondering how I was going to get through Pinktober - the thought of survivor stories, stories of early detection and treatment success and then stories of recurrence and how that was going to get to me. Am I still a "survivor"? Am I still part of the "sisterhood" - the quiet minority with ABC/Stage 4? Well, the initial stories got me down - Stage 4 stories of accepting the "inevitable" got me in a funk, EBC success stories saw my little green man come out full of envy. Wasted emotion - other women's stories - not mine - I'm writing the book on that one - planning on it being a long book full of fun and exciting chapters - grandchildren anyone? So I thought to start Pinktober I would occasionally post positive quotes to my FB page - no statistics allowed. Then my friend and I have got together to organise a Pinktober Breakfast - see link below - if you are in Melbourne and would like to come please message me (we need to have a rough numbers guide for catering). http://fundraise.pinkribbonbreakfast.org.au/bernadette_burnes I have to say gettng involved in this has me pumping again. I feel alive and like I am doing something worthwhile. I just hope that more of the money goes to ABC research. I know early detection is best but it didn't help me (a little selfish I suppose) and a hell of a lot of other women. Then of course there is the whole PBS palaver and issues for rural women - it quite simply is not good enough! I am still attending the Gawler program and learning a lot with the lovely Leonor and Augustin. I am not merely a sponge but am learning with a critical eye to ask more and investigate more. I am still receiving counselling which is of enormous benefit. I still see my shrink - also beneficial. I am still eating a plant based diet with fish and no dairy or other animal products (aside from fish) - want to lose weight anyone? I am still meditating and love the inner peace it gives me. I am still having regular accupuncture and chinese medicine and believe this is helping me manage the weekly chemo better. I am still on the search for a naturopath to work with. I have hair growing back and went without headwear in public today - most wouldn't but I don't care! We have had a lovely beach holiday on the Gold Coast where I returned midway for treatment. The kids and B had a relaxing time - it was nice to be back in my home state, see old friends and relax. I love the surf and the beach - it is my special safe place and hearing the ocean daily warmed my soul. You know what? I might have ABC but I'm still a SURVIVOR and I'm living for now (and still hoping - not worrying - for tomorrow) Much love and light to all SURVIVORS. Amanda xxx