more surgery

Vinn,

Im really sorry to hear all of this, the lack of support certainly is a tough one. My Mum passed 7yrs ago and I have no sisters, but my Dad was wonderful and stepped up to the plate in ways I could have only hoped. He took care of my kids, yes they are older, but they still needed to get everywhere, that was the hardest thing. 

I learned the life long friends youd think would be there really arent and the people youd least expect to help in any way, absolutely do. How humbling..and so I culled alot of long time friends. It has made me so aware as Ive had friends also go through this and I know how I would support them or anyone from hereon. I would have loved the occasional meal. 

Vinn, its certainly not selfish at all, the irony of all of this is? its about YOU, nobody else...the same way you cannot live for someone else. Ive learnt that I actually matter and am important above even my children. Like they say, if you are not right, how on earth can your kids be?? so it starts with you and all your energy put into you, into beating this thing. Most of all I learned to love myself a whole lot more, I even stopped working as I was too debilitated, which gutted me...but?? I found me...I will never ever put work above myself again and I dont. I am priority and my children. We are all healthy and happy, endured alot.

So I say to you, that everything you think and feel is ok and validated, no right or wrong. So time to put the love and energy just into you now. I'd have a look at a way you can delegate some things so you can focus on you, thats what I do now. I still give 100% to my kids and got my daughter through VCE whilst I had 4.5 months of Chemo. I couldnt be prouder of the resilience and determination Ive shown my kids the past 5yrs. I will never give in...so nurture nurture nurture you!!! is sooo key!! 

Im lucky to have a great ex husband LOL, though didnt help through all that as I wouldnt expect it. But we co parent so well and Im so grateful. I was also blessed to meet a wonderful man 6 months before diagnosis. He's been an Angel in how he supports me and thats not physically as we live far apart. 

So many blessings, life is good and going to get better!!! So keep going, do what you have to do and put this to bed!!! and lets live I say LOL!!! Humor has helped alot too!! 

Hugs! Melinda