Mastectomy this Thursday..

FLClover said:

It’s actually not strange at all that you’re overthinking it. I do the same. It’s the fear. You never know if you’re making the right decision, and you doubt yourself every time in case things go wrong. But things can go wrong no matter how much you plan and no matter how much something could be the right decision. We’re not in control of that. And you’re even more scared because you’re going against the surgeon’s wishes. But that just shows how little control we have over decisions about our own bodies. We feel guilty and doubtful whenever we go against the doctor, and it shouldn’t be like that. We should always be given full control by our doctors, so we never have to feel doubtful. This is why I’m so annoyed by your surgeon’s initial hesitancy to do a double. She now has you feeling doubtful and scared, even though those options were given to women for years prior. 

I was diagnosed at 39, no family history and no reason to suspect I had it. I had had an ultrasound in 2016 which showed a little cyst and nothing more. I asked for another one in 2018 and was denied. (Waste of resources). I found a lump end of 2019, which then turned out to be 2.5 lumps in my right, AND another lump in my left. All positive. I had the mri with contrast before surgery, which basically showed every possible type of lump under the sun in my breasts, including DCIS. So my surgeon opted for the double. It was not that much riskier as I said, plus I had expanders inserted. I recovered quite quickly and didn’t need too many painkillers either. I did all the physio exercises I was given in hospital. I also did qigong prior to surgery and as much as I could afterwards. I took long walks, even with those dreaded drains, and put music on and danced to it as much as I could, even one day post surgery. Prep and mindset are very important. You’re young, and there’s no reason you shouldn’t reach very old age. Heaps of women in our situation have. But you have to be your own advocate, and always listen to your intuition. It always knows best for you.