Thank you for your support @Afraser. I feel that if it was a State requirement that would have been mentioned. Surgeon simply said she would defer doing it, leaving it as a possible option.. she just does not want to do it and I am not too happy with the lack of discussion..
She is a great private surgeon so that does not worry me.. but perhaps I would have liked more openness.
You are right.. it would probably not be too bad to have to do surgery again, but why should I, if there is no legal restrictions on what my surgery can be and there is no other valid medical reason.
I know it is partially my fault as I should have done something about it earlier or seek a second opinion.. guess in my not being too emotional about it I have relied too much on the specialists and failed myself a little..