I think a large part of it is that this is such a permanent part of treatment. Chemo, hair loss, body aches etc are all relatively temporary, but this is forever (even if I have a reconstruction, it will never be the same). I worry about the impact on my kids (they’re only 8, 6 and 3). I know they’re tough and resilient, but it’s got to be hard On Them and I don’t want my lack of boobs to be a constant reminder of what I’ve been through to them.
But hey, my life is far more important than boobs and I’m of course having the surgery and I will be fine afterwards, it’s just this lead up is giving me too much time to think!!