Looming double mastectomy

And @MaryB83 it is very extreme. Unfortunately there is no way to get your head around it apart from knowing that it is necessary and you really don't have that much of a say. That in itself becomes a kind of consolation because there is no way that any of us would choose to do this willingly. Wishing for you that your surgery goes beautifully and that your anxiety and stress levels can be done and over with. Big hugs lovely, all the best and please let us know how you are going. Xx

All I can say is that having had a double mastectomy (and reconstruction), I have found it a great relief to know that I never have to have a mammogram again. I will always miss my breasts, the sensations, but to live without the anxiety is very good indeed. That's how I feel so far anyway. Good luck with your surgery. K xox

Thanks ladies

I had my chemo first too, it's a long time to have to worry about the surgery. That worry will all be over in a few days which is the only positive that kept me going. Mxx

I had six months of chemo, followed by a bilateral mastectomy with full node clearance on the left and sentinal node on the right. During the six months of chemo (for me a nightmare) prior to surgery, my head accepted that those two comfy cushions on my front which had been the source of much pride as a teenager, a source of nourishment for my babies (four years and five months total), in my twenties and much fun thereafter, had to go. They were trying to kill me. Not just some theoretical Hollywood tearjerker movie, but for real. If I kept them, I was going to die sooner rather than later. With my husband's love and support (39 years married) and that of my adult kids and their partners, I've come through. A couple of speed humps here and there due to other medical conditions, but here I still am two years post diagnosis and No Evidence of Disease. Sure I miss my boobs, but I know I've given it everything I have to live a longer life, and that is more important to me and my family. Keep going and you too will get there. Ally (((hug))).

Hi @MaryB83
I had a lumpectomy on my right breast along with lymph node removal on the 21st August.  Unfortunately the pathology results weren't what I hoped and ended up having a double mastectomy on the 4th Sept.  I was also large busted (18G) and was completely overwhelmed, devastated.... the list goes on. 
I'm not going to say it's easy at all and the days and weeks after I was an emotional mess.  But as time goes on it does get better.  I've just had my second round of AC and am struggling with that more than the double mastectomy. 
I have been fitted and received my prosthesis and new bras in a size D.  It actually surprised me how comforting it was to have these and the difference it made in my confidence, although my scarring is still quite sore so I only wear them out for short periods of time.
Looking in the mirror has gotten easier and talking to friends and family about how I feel and getting their support has been invaluable.  Knowing you are still the same beautiful person to those that you love the dearest has been the most encouraging and supporting words to keep me positive and on track. 
I also have to remind myself on the tough days that if I hadn't of had this surgery then I may not be here in the years to come.... and that wasn't ever an option. 
I wish you all the very best and hope that all goes well for your surgery. You will get through! Sending you love and hugs xx
Kezza

Mixed emotions of getting rid of cancer and losing your breasts. I too had a bilateral mastectomy but I chose a reconstruction. My surgeon did shock me when I awoke with some breasts due to expansion. I dudnt really grieve my loss until later. It was a big relief to be rid of the  cancer. Kath x

I had a bilateral mastectomy with immediate implants. I didn’t have to have chemo but from diagnosis to surgery was less than a month. I could almost feel the lump had grown (which it had) and I just remember thinking that I just want this out of my body. I did not care at the time that they were removing my breasts. But it is a lot to get used to emotionally, physically and mentally and 6 months down the track I’m still on that journey. But it does get easier as time goes on. 
I wish you all the best and know that once they are gone you won’t have to worry about those dreaded things getting any cancer in them. That is definitely a huge weight of your shoulders.
 I hope your surgery goes well and sending blessings to you at this time. 😊

 I am going to be having a bilateral mastectomy on the 30/10/18 , so I'm apprehensive too , not so much about loosing my boobs , they have done their job. but about how to manage the few weeks afterwards.

 Unfortunately I admit to being a control freak ,so not been able to do everything at home my way is going to drive me nuts, but then after 6 months on chemo , this is the next step, then radiation after a few weeks.

  So I guess we're together in the same boat , so take comfort someone else is feeling exactly like you and that is normal.

  Good Luck , 

I think a large part of it is that this is such a permanent part of treatment. Chemo, hair loss, body aches etc are all relatively temporary, but this is forever (even if I have a reconstruction, it will never be the same). I worry about the impact on my kids (they’re only 8, 6 and 3). I know they’re tough and resilient, but it’s got to be hard On Them and I don’t want my lack of boobs to be a constant reminder of what I’ve been through to them.
But hey, my life is far more important than boobs and I’m of course having the surgery and I will be fine afterwards, it’s just this lead up is giving me too much time to think!!