Hey @melclarity and @iserbrown. No, I don't take it as a lecture at all :)
@Romla thank you for that. I've put up a number of posts whinging and whining about my concerns and just generally being pissed off with the whole thing at times.
As far as stopping and starting the meds my onc says it's better than not taking it at ll which is precisely what's going to happen If I can't sort it out.
I can switch meds if I want, however, he is of the opinion that if I am having this many issues on the Tamoxifen (apparently the lesser of two evils) the other may be worse and at least I know that I can reverse the side effects pretty much on the Tamoxifen. I can live with the bone aches and stopping for two to three weeks is not long enough for them to go but they do start to ease by the end of week 3.
What I find difficult to live with is the cognitive issues and the anxiety that creeps in after a while. There are days when I don't even trust myself to drive as my reflexes are slow sometimes and my vision is blurry at times. These are definitely from the Tamoxifen as they disappear within about 4 days of stopping. Right now I am back to normal. No fog, memory is good, no anxiety and Yay I can string a sentence together. I have little pain during the day while I am moving it's night time that's an issue and that interferes greatly with sleep.
Bone density is good, bloods are all good. I have dropped 9 kgs in 6months and my cholesterol has halved. (One good thing about Tamoxifen)
Anyhoo.....on a good note. Each time I go off then back on something settles a little and takes longer to get really bad. I did 14 weeks on this time instead of twelve and my aim is to only stay off for two weeks then give it another crack. I will keep trying my best to tame this thing.
Thank you ladies for your insight and thoughts. It means a lot.
xoxoxo