Hi @Jodpri. Welcome to the forum. I hope you find it as helpful and supportive as I have. It's a wonderful place to talk and vent to people who get it. And it's the greatest hive mind if you have a question.
Yes, that feeling of surrealism is all too familiar. Even now, almost 20 mos later I sometimes still can't believe 'this' has happened to me. I find the only thing that helps this is mindfulness and staying present.
May I ask where your recurrence lump was found? If it wasn't in the lymph node it must have been in some residual breast tissue left from your BMX.
I found the best thing for my mouth during chemo was something my GP put me onto. Cut up a fresh pineapple, portion it into serving sizes (I went with three good size pieces) and freeze them. I had one every day as dessert in the evening. There's an enzyme in it, Bromelain, which helps prevent mouth ulcers, and there's something about the texture, acidity and mouth feel that just cut through for me. I was addicted.
A couple of months after chemo had finished I found a bag in the freezer. I ate it but with my tastebuds back to normal, the obsession was gone!
Hope that helps. K xox